Michael Campbell Outraged by Tiger Woods Questions! The Human Cannonball Returns…ish

Michael Campbell Outraged by Tiger Woods Questions! The Human Cannonball Returns…ish

has he paid your invoice yet no no have you raised one uh I put a few in same as your video the compounding i just thought I’d ask you and then I’d wait until he paid you and then put mine in but I’ve actually been paid every time i’ve been paid every time it’s been good actually can you Ellie Ellie can you shut up oh sorry sorry i wonder I wonder why you keep turning up if I You’re always the first here he wants to get paid before we start that’s why he shows up well you always pay for a massage before the oil hits the uh the road oh they insist not all the time though and put the deposit down well you must be um the old you must be getting extras later you know you change your mind from a foot massage like oh actually move on you carry a couple of 50s in the pocket don’t you you’re like okay [ __ ] like above the knees sure oh dear idea lana’s not here eh yeah it was one dark and stormy night can someone ring Lana and just bring it get her to come up just get her on the monitor right like every other guest [Laughter] when’s somebody going to actually go out of their way to turn up on our show it was award-winning or it is award-winning yeah but not every We haven’t had one guest live you know not not even our little the little been sitting there should I yeah perfect i’ll just put my beer on your head you just I can see in too look it’s perfect how do you get that hat on mate what rings are Hey hey everyone allie sit back in your seat lee behave yourself you’re definitely getting paid if you’re listening to his instructions we’re going to roll the title [Music] everyone calm down right welcome to the award-winning Tab Sports Cafe joining me tonight I’m not even going to bother introducing them um how’s your week been Ellie [ __ ] h good actually what happened yeah you took the words right out of my mouth these boys are struggling I think motomar racing it’s a great sport actually is it yep tried it have you yeah it’s a bit bit of under steer obviously the front’s dragging the uh the mower out were you good at it blades are not on it no well I mean you know it was not really i mean I think you’re allowed to do it after a few sherbets it was down south watch some um motor racing was this at the field day yeah at field days what’s up i’m Mad Mike and we are down here for Red Bull Cutter at Field Days red Bull Cutter what is that you may ask it is racing lawnmowers the only time I have to relax in my life is when I’m cutting my lawns at home but today I’m jumping in the saddle i’ve been invited down here to take on the best i’m going to start from the back see how many I can get to the front or even if I can just stay on the freaking thing so let’s go they’re not like the little we raced oh they’ve got some herbs that’s dangerous straight out of the I think they can make them themselves these guys these ones are extra that looks fun though doesn’t it yeah the Invaga ones mate they weren’t like right on they were like you sit on it and you know the blades at the front oh with the Yeah and you you were turning it like that and the blade the chopper thing was dragging you along and that’s why there was steer you know I thought you meant push mowers you know the old push mowers yeah it was like having one one of them strapped to the front of a a truck like that you’re suggesting a push mower race you’re running around it’s not that exciting is it 400 me track with with grass this long yeah grass really grass you got a catcher on it you got to If you catch a guy in front you can put them under the blades have to empty the catcher as part of it catch it oh yeah it’ll slow you down if it’s It’s not quite as exciting as that one that we Oh that was good i’d give that a go any gory lawn mo stories you boys have experienced where someone’s loped the old finger off you know the old clean her out never I’ve never seen one never heard one i’ll tell you the best story about losing fingers though cuz there’s always a good story about losing fingers it involves a great mate of ours yeah there we go i have and uh when he was about like 11 uh he and his mates had washed Edward Suzans and so they went down to the bush in Henderson and he was going and he lpped the guy’s fingers off this is no [ __ ] and he picked it up and freaked out and went and just threw it deep into the bush right and like the kids the finger’s gone like the pointer which is like a bit of a [ __ ] when you’re 14 right there’s jobs to be done it’s hard to make a point isn’t it [ __ ] the parents all come running down they say “Where where did you chop it off?” And there’s blood all here and he’s [ __ ] hurled it into the bush and some hedgehogs grabbed it and [ __ ] off and they never found it again actually I I do remember now my mom’s actually lost it i know i know do you see her often she lost it in your eye a few times I’d imagine no she my old lady she she’s a bit wild and um she was riding a motorbike and the old classic cartoon type thing cruising down the road in the motorbike the old door side door opened up oh yeah she went over lost her finger pulled the glove out where’s it gone never well it was still in the glove but they couldn’t they couldn’t attach it so So mom’s got old Stumpy she’s lived her whole life with old Stumpy but Oh it’s nice of you to remember that yeah I just remembered it i just came back in here e can before we before we go off onto this tangent like I’ve asked you all’s been away there’s a clip there’s a actually a silly clip going around on the internet i I’ll I’ll get you a copy of it i don’t want to see it well no you do cuz it’s quite funny where like wives are doing pranks on husbands who have fallen asleep on couches and they’re putting like a sausage in the front of their slacks and then they tap on the shoulder and go snip and cut it off and the responses as you would imagine alarming high shock you know panic high adrenaline squeals you would look down thinking it was yours if we could show the footage I’d leave i’ll find it for you well you didn’t send me that but I I did ask you this week to send me some clips in um so the idea is that you give me some clips so we can capture the news of the week so I’ll go through them um and I’ll read them in my best news reader voice um we’ll start off with let’s have a look at this week’s news reporter Lana Kokov reports that a new study uh finds vinegar prevents being bitten by crabs uh unless there is a crab nearby if you pour vinegar over your hands or over your arms on any kind of component of your skin because of the smell and the vapor of the vinegar that it gives off it is actually a deterrent to the crabs and they won’t bite watch oh I love it i love that [ __ ] isn’t it it’s so good it’s so good the only thing that will deter crabs is Black Flag oh yeah oh you mean don’t Yeah yeah yeah the old full drench all right here’s another story here’s another story mark Ellis reports that new Aussie sprint star unearthed after blistering 100 meters away from cops so you see m the one I sent you was where the guy runs off and he gets [ __ ] tased with a he runs out of a car and he decides he runs out of the car and gets tased and just goes down he was going quite quickly but he stopped now you you ran away that’s the wrong one mate well that’s the one you sent though i sent you [ __ ] eight and I sent one just You sent me eight i chose one of them yeah you chose the [ __ ] worst like you know don’t send it to me oh finally uh despite Lee Hart refusing to play along by not sending in any videos uh producer finds artificial intelligence now generating Bigfoot Tik Tok videos faster than scientists than can deny him hey guys just met these two squirrels they say they’re cooking up some iawaska no idea what that is but I guess I’ll try some the trees the trees are alive the trees are real i just talked to one oh my god oh my god i’m losing it i’m losing it i wasn’t emotionally prepared for this i just told a beaver my deepest truamas what’s up guys bigfoot back for another vlog and I’m on my way to go media stadium for another Warriors game big W incoming it takes me three days to get to go media stadium it’s worth it for the ws though where is everyone i’m about to crash out why did nobody tell me it’s by week i never sent that in Rick well mate the one I sent in he didn’t play i It’s just absolutely Well speaking of AI Rick why don’t we just AI us yeah I was just thinking that we don’t actually need to be here that was bloody good footage pay us like you haven’t been doing well I haven’t paid you yeah exactly okay joining us now uh from Spain the US golf champion from 20 years ago um but it seems like yesterday Michael Camp thank you guys thank you thank you did you watch it this Did you watch it over the weekend obviously oh yeah i watched the carnage it’s uh a typical week where you just got to get through it’s a tough mental uh game when it comes to the type of golf course that that we play in the US Opens but uh yeah it was uh it’s a shame that my friend Adam Scott didn’t win but JJ Spawn played great especially those last two holes yeah it was nice to to see the boys out there and and play and and watch watch all the carnage after 20 years uh presumably the green jacket you get an invite back to be there in person green jacket mate that’s that’s the wrong tournament buddy that’s the US Masters sorry mate we’re dealing with all sorts of [ __ ] here i reckon I won you won that’s it green jacket means you bloody won it doesn’t it it’s sort of like the cycling a yellow jacket he didn’t read the brief mate no no no it’s okay we remember you get invited back as the next winner that was the question you know whether or [ __ ] green jacket I don’t care about the answer okay sure sorry okay you you go away sorry can I talk now yes please okay uh no it’s the only major that has a 10 year exemption so you got the US masters the open and the USPGA and you’re there you can play until 65 or 60 years old but it’s the only major that only has like a 10 year exemption so no green jacket and no uh uh no plane for me uh cuz my um exemption expired I think in 2015 so yeah that’s that’s the rules what about getting invited back for the social side of it i mean presumably it’s one hell of an ease up no no it’s uh No way it’s just too hard for me i’m I’m old now mate i’m 56 years old and and to play that golf course right now it’s not even worth me turning up because these guys had it so long now the more athletes and I had it so far i mean I went to Pinehurst last year uh the USGA invited me to go back there and it was very special for me because I’ve been back to Pine since I won and um so to go back there 19 year 19 years later was a lot of fun to watch the boys play at that golf course and see Bryson win so uh Lee Hart Lee Hart Sports Cafe um h how have the clubs changed in your in 20 years have they improved a lot to hit that that that extra distance that’s a good question yeah I mean it’s it’s combination of a lot of things you know it’s it’s the golf ball itself it’s the drivers the clubs it’s the trainers it’s the data now it’s very technical it’s very um based on scientific evidence so it’s completely changed the game it’s like any any sport that we play right rugby as well that guys are now fitter than they were uh than when you guys were playing at the time and it’s just the way this evolution um you see it all the time across all the boards of all sports you know they run faster they’re bigger they’re stronger same with golf they swing it faster so the combination of of science with technology and athletes makes it a little bit easier for them michael how’s your golf these days do you still play or are you sick of it or these you wouldn’t play golf would I i’m I’m reluctant i play a little bit i play a little bit i used to I used the rentals i don’t Can we ask Can we ask Michael about his golf how’s your golf going michael how are you mate hey it’s been a long time yeah you know they’ve dragged me on here but I get paid and these guys don’t get paid so I’m happy how you been mate i mean I haven’t seen you since uh since the World Cup i think uh we met each other in 200 2005 you came into um you you came into the training camp with us that’s right after you had won and we were all on the bus when he won and we literally held off training for about half an hour to make until you nailed that part so uh you know it’s been a while i remember that mate i remember that yeah I remember yeah i mean uh I don’t really play that much i mean I play like 10 tournaments a year i mean I’ve this is my second chapter of my my career really it’s you know I’ve done done hard yards as you know mate as an athlete it’s it’s tough man it’s really really tough out there and and I did it for 20 years on tour but uh now it’s time to relax more and have fun with my mates cuz you know I’ve known these guys for 30 years a long time they’re a part of my extended family um it’s so much fun out there playing and competing still i love competing uh I haven’t played great this year uh I had a few issues health issues but besides that you know it’s uh it’s always nice to play golf and that’s one thing that I’m very lucky to actually do is is to play a game that’s has a longevity whereas as you know Ellie you know rugby players you’re pretty much done once you’re late mid to late 30s so um it’s a sport that I’m very lucky to be involved in have you now do you mind if I ask a question or you have you been enjoying watching Ryan Fox this year oh man it’s it’s been so much fun to watch Foxy play so well so much fun it’s uh one of those things that uh you always want to see as a fellow New Zealand golfers other professionals do well and winning twice already this year has been fantastic but you know he’s got the goods man he’s got the goods he’s he’s strong he hits it far that’s the biggest attribute that you can have on the PJ tour and to hit it far and he does hit hit it a long way um but you know it’s just he’s grown as a as a golfer he’s a late bloomer as you all know but for him to come along now for the last 10 years went on the European tour of the DP World Tour and the PGA Tour and I think the next next step now for him really is to win a major and he’s got all the goods no question at all if you win on the PJ tour you’re you’re a great player m Did you have a question well I just wanted to wondering how how bodies holding up at the riot age of 56 you know where where are the pinch points in a golfer’s carcass good question yeah I think the most common uh elements that we have really is uh back um because it’s it’s if you think about it the golf swing is not very good for your health it’s one directional you know you’re hitting it swing it one way it’s very rotational kind of golf swing uh the movements so it’s uh it’s the back really that goes and the wrists and stuff like that so when I get up in the morning you know things a little bit stiffer than I used to be but um you know I still enjoy it being out there and playing be a damn slight worse if you’re carrying your own clubs I suppose i’ll never do that mate i’ll never do that no I’ve got a guy that does that already have you ever played speed golf that one where they they you got a two or three clubs maybe three clubs and you you go around as fast as you can just for a laugh uh are you kidding me i’m too old for that mate no way well I’ve seen it it’s very very impressive um you have to be fit for that there’s no way I can do that looking back at um at that US Open you know you beat Tiger Woods you know and I mean do you get asked a thousand questions about Tiger Woods um yeah pretty much okay so tell me about Tiger Woods it’s a bad question right what in what way as a as a player or as a person yeah as a player like off the field mate who gives a We want to know we all know about him as a player he’s a bloody great player what What about as a person yeah off the field he’s he’s had one or two incidents he could be a great guy or a foul what do you reckon um he’s a great golfer that’s for sure well answered see silence says everything no look look look you know I’ve got to know look guys I’ve got to know Tiger quite well because it’s a whole C Williams connection you know we hung out together a few times and went out together a few times he’s just a normal bloke um he’s very much uh he’s got a dry sense of humor he’s quite funny actually uh on the golf course and off the golf course but uh that’s all I can tell you and obviously he’s he’s amazing with it when he plays when it comes to playing golf when you’re in that US golf open and he was like just breathing down your neck to the fact that it was you can’t mate it was the pause after you said and the way you said it and he was breathing back my time mate but that’s out of line card inappropriate sorry mate question that was terrible Sorry sorry sorry Michael so when when Tiger Woods was um was pressing in behind you um he’s standing comes inside like everything I say is going to be wrong now just try again i’m lucky so when you’re trying to win the US Golf Open and right behind you was Tiger Woods good question how much was just the fact that it was Tiger Woods so that increased the pressure um no I didn’t really think about it to be honest with you um it’s kind of weird that I just went out there and played my game i knew that he was the favorite i mean the crowd’s favorite everyone’s favorite and rightly so you know he’s he was the goat and to me he’s still the goat but uh I think it was uh a great scenario for me to be the underdog and you know him to be the favorite i did my own thing and and um I just flew underneath the radar kind of thing and and all of a sudden I won by two shots so you know he he really inspired me really uh to I think I made like three or four birdies the last nine holes is quite quite phenomenal to do that under under the extreme you know pressures of of winning or leading a major championship especially with Tiger pressing behind me as you said um I can say but you can’t yeah so let let me let me paint you a little picture here guys okay so I I started playing golf on a farm a sheep farm so I was like 8 n years old fences around the greens sheep everywhere all I had was one ball and one club i cut down six iron that my father um gave me and that’s what that’s it that was my dream was to be a professional golfer so you imagine uh with those humble beginnings going from that to winning a US Open so that’s very inspirational story and that’s why I came back to New Zealand pretty much after I won probably about 2 3 weeks after I won um I said to my manager at the time I said I have to go back to New Zealand and they go are you crazy Michael you there is no time I said well you got to make time I came home for 10 days not for myself but for my people to say look if Michael Campbell can hold the US Open trophy um you know anything’s possible did you know the Neils in Tai Bay the Neil Neils yeah the Neils uh I’m guessing not no well they’ve only lived there for 40 years i mean it’s quite a small community i mean being being a Wellingtonian but I tell you who you do know and was a big inspiration so he told me was Zinzan Brookke oh Zindy yeah my best mate Zindy he’s uh he was incredible i mean apart from Ellie um of course buddy uh Zinny zinny was one of my uh role models role models growing up in New Zealand watching him play World Cup in 95 sort of thing and I got to meet him about four or five years later he’s a very good friend of mine and we hung out together we played golf together and our families knew each other and he was very a true inspiration because you know obviously as a kid growing up in New Zealand you you look at the All Blacks and what they’ve done uh globally and it’s it’s just phenomenal and and you need to take inspiration from that so yes definitely Zinny was one of my role models growing up in my speaking of which um you know through your golf obviously you’ve played against you know top golfers but also would have been other people celebrities people like Senior whatever who who you played with you know that was interesting the most interesting person you played with who wasn’t a professional golfer Samuel Jackson actually Samuel Jackson is a is a cool guy uh Samuel got to know very very well and was he quite good yeah he plays off like five or four uh all depends if he makes if if he’s making movies um he he plays more golf because in his contract he told me that uh every day he needs 5 hours a day to play golf not including traveling time so uh so every time he uh makes a movie which is a load now it’s hundreds of movies uh he plays better golf because he’s always practicing every day or playing golf every day in between takes or sets whatever you call it but uh yeah he’s he’s a lot of fun you know when you’re playing a game do you have internal wages like mate I give a 100 bucks to see who can get closer to the pin like that’s what golf’s about for for me it’s like how do you get inside someone’s head do you have little internal wages well um great question well we can’t really bet on the golf course so that’s one thing that we can’t do um they say it’s unprofessional which is fair enough so we don’t really do that but but absolutely during practice rounds all the time you ever throwing three darts at a dart board and you got to get a a double a single and a triple of the same with just one throw never tried it and like we played that for very high stakes like throw them at the same time three at the same time i was playing with three guys who weren’t circumcised oh and if you were to land it they had to take their flappers off and uh if uh they hit it I had to tattoo my peach blue and uh one of the boys still blue one of the boys got about that close to nailing it back off really quickly get size with a dart that would you’ve got like a US golf open winner and you’re talking about throwing darts at your dick he was talking about titting his problem mate you weren’t listening you’re throwing darts at the board if you get a double a single and a triple of the same number you’ve got to take your foreskin off right or you’ve got to t your peach blue your choice god you’re an idiot that’s just you know we’re talking about those bets that you intens all right thank you um we’ll let we’ll let you go Michael um now they’ve you’ve made a um they’ve made a movie um a bit of a movie looking back at your your win in Pinehurst haven’t they yeah that’s right um we took us this journey upon us about three years ago uh started filming and it’s all about how I got to where I got to uh the heights of winning winning a major coming from very humble beginnings it’s uh it’s quite revealing for me really i the first time I sat down and and thought about my my journey and I thought wow that was that was pretty hard to do but I did it so it’s a movie is going to hopefully inspire a lot of people back home New Zealand uh it’s called Dare to Be Different it’s coming out in August I I believe i’m not quite sure on the dates itself but yeah I’m very excited with that and it just sends a story I think to everyone to all those young kids that you know earn anything’s possible you I mean for for a young moldy boy to uh to win a a major championship iss quite uh quite different that’s why I caught it dare to be different cuz I wanted to do that you know I want well first of all I want to be an all black that’s my ultimate dream to be an all black mate I’d rather be in your shoes right now I think have you still got that club have you still got that little six six iron you and cut down no no i I’ve lost it somewhere it’s a real shame but yeah I wish I kept it somewhere what about the clubs that you won the US Golf Open you still got that set oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i’ve got that i’ve got every single uh the driver the irons the putter everything that’s going to be put in museum uh somewhere one day so you can put it leave it at my house mate quite cool oh mate no way you probably No way buddy no way not you Alli no i’ve seen you play golf bud i’ve seen you play golf bud mate i’ll tell you i’ll send you golf all right mate all the best thanks thanks for joining us all right guys take it easy mate cheers buddy see you guys [Applause] look joining us now from the mount are you the mount ku Butler yeah Ki back in the mount i was in Hawaii a couple days ago i’m freezing my ass off back here welcome home ah cheers good to be home good to be home so what were you doing in Hawaii now my partner’s from there so uh just over there surfing um the waves are just so much better there e just warm good surf the feeds are mean eat good fish um yeah just good place to be a surfer i don’t know about the mount the mount’s pretty small far out i swear it’s better for fishing down these ways is that the um is that on the north shore is it of Hawaii that you do all the surfing yeah cuz so on the north shore but my miss is from another island called Kauaii and it’s um it’s like super localized there so like uh um not many people you can’t really film surfing there too much so it’s kind of mean it’s a bit under the radar but I’m I’m about to blow it out right now so So do you do you do some filming when you’re there or yeah I’ll jump off to the other islands the busy islands and do a bit of filming um just uh don’t want to give away all the surf breaks say on that on that little island so then I’ll go back to the Northshore and surf over there are you a full-time surfer is that what you do full time yeah cuz I got no other job be no shovel in my hand yet so not too bad who’s your hero i mean what’s a guy named Le he he like the big one hamilton he was he was a bit of a beast back yeah no he’s a he’s a beasty no my uh my hero is probably well Kelly Slater coral Kelly no he’s the man e like he’s like 50 something still the man no he’s unreal but I like this other fella called um Gabriel Medina he’s a Brazilian fella just got a crazy story start from nothing hey just just him trying to get money to provide for him and his mom um parking cars in Brazil at the beach for like 5 cents and now he’s like he’s like Neymar of surfing in Brazil so it’s pretty cool story what’s your what’s your preferred hand is it right hand or left hand that’s that’s surfing terminology i prefer a right hand or left hand is it regular foot is it a goofy or goofy can you give us the the regular surfing for us morons like me that it’s more like a surfboard than a surfer yeah you’d need I’m a I’m a regular foot so that’s left foot forward and right foot back um so I like going on on righthanders e I don’t really like going on lefts i have to look at it like that what about what about competition wise do you like do you like surfing competitive surfing is that what you’re into when I when I was younger like I really enjoyed competition um I enjoyed the um mental side of competition because in surfing you know a lot of uh the heat and stuff aren’t up to you it’s up to mother nature you know waves might not come to you um it might go flat for you heat so it’s a it’s a tough sport surfing competitively but um lately I’ve been enjoying free surfing just chasing good waves around the world um filming um we got another collection of Quicksilver coming out thai Ku will be our third one so just um yeah pretty much been doing that a young fellow like yourself I mean you’ve traveled the world you know obviously there’s a few places yet on the bucket list tick waves and women that the that where’s the perfect combo where’s the sweet spot his partner’s Hawaii hawaii sorry I’m not asking you Rick [ __ ] sake what’s the answer give him Give him the answer the sweet spot sweet spot i mean like let’s pre pretend we’re single if you were you know traveling the world where would you go if you were looking for a great wave and the cutest girls oh I’d say either probably Hawaii yeah I told you in the cargo maybe i was going to go Gisbon gisbon yeah yeah they need a layer of you know cold down there you know californian with puffed up lips yeah yeah say no more i mean the waves yeah not going to sink no you’re definitely not not a plastic floating around that close europe’s mean too they got good waves oh you fellas all know Europe and you’re also into your design as well Koo i’m just into putting our uh putting moldy culture out there and um you know us uh Polynesians we’ve been uh storytellers for many years and I feel like through the collection and the the designs I want to tell uh our stories to the world and kind of put us on the map so explain to these idiots alongside me what what are you designing uh designing uh Maldi based uh surf collection so like our bodies our t-shirts our hoodies and stuff but the designs all represent the ocean like the um let’s say like the mango party like which means the hammerhead shark we have a lot of those we have the pooho which represents the when you stick the paddle in the water and you pull and it has that spiral look um so all of our collection all draws back to the ocean because that’s what uh connected us as Polynesians i’ve got quite a good design idea you know it’s a safety thing but like a pair of board shorts you know so you’re out there they look cool but if you’re in real trouble you pull a rip cord and it’s blows up blows up blows up like a uh life jacket right yeah it’s a good idea it’s not stupid is it it’s pretty stupid quite good for a pair of jeans as well well you don’t need one mate you are you scared of sharks when you’re out surfing yeah of course cuz they own the ocean bro sharks own the ocean but um whenever I see one there I’m out of there i don’t I don’t [ __ ] around with them they’re the boss of the sea but they’re everywhere though you just don’t see them on the topic I mean what’s your most feared shark is it is it the tiger is it the whitey or is it or is it the Marco the Marcos are nasty yeah but it’s they’re nasty oh probably the probably the Gubs the great whites e they just they’re just girthy and huge mind you a tiger nudge at most tiger yep yeah they’re a dangerous number those ones aren’t they they really are and there’s a lot more bronzies at the moment floating around bronze don’t do anything though mate you know they Oh they scare me mate any shark scares me little ones you know you’re sitting on top of the hill there and you know you’re watching somebody have a a swim and you see oh sharks coming along should we whistle out nah just let them go just keep watching you know and they swim between you know inside the the swimmers inside the swimmers they’re closer to the shore than the swimmers but they you wouldn’t even know they’re there but you do if you’re on the hill and if you’re having a few beers is Is there that myth that you know when you’re sitting on your surfboard you attract more sharks is that just a myth or is that real sharks you know where we are from miles away e especially when you when you panic that’s the one thing you do is you don’t want to act like a dead fish but if you’re cruising they they generally won’t come near you but then you also got to think that like sharks don’t have hands e so they can’t go and you know pick this thing up be like “What’s this thing?” So they just got to have a quick nibble it’s like you see the ones that get away are the ones that actually don’t really like humans it’s like a dog that eats the you know the sausage roll but you know but it eats the plastic as well and and it sort of just a little bit of plastic hangs out of the earth that’s why they drag along the carpet cuz they they don’t have thumbs they can’t pull it out you’re right the dangleberry it’s getting there and they can’t get it out yeah so we’re all different talk about this the other day though with with the sharks great wider matches so the other thing I was talking about if you gently squeeze their testicles and twist them in a clockwise fashion the great white they all back off will they that’s when they breach they’ll breach does when they breach females so well we we all breach with that sort of maneuver oh yeah there’s not many males that Yeah the arc you know well said good question oh good statement wow you never stop learning D no I think we should probably finish on that what the whole show so K what’s up what’s next for you uh next for me um we’re just filming a few projects for uh Red Bull at the moment um working on the third collection wait for State of Origin though [ __ ] going to go where do you Who do you support Chief maroon new South new South Wales i’m a Marine bro wild Mangoes from Queensland all my life he was giving it to me bro the tides have turned the tides have turn and could we see your surf collection on online or something yeah cuz we um we’ll put it all online but it’ll be on the Quicksilver New Zealand website it comes out in uh uh end of August so um yeah now be be ready to click the link we have to send you fellows some shorts e yeah we’re thinking that if you could send us some shorts we’ll get um Rick to model it for you um in the next episode what do you think boys full carcass and a pure your uh I’ll have a quadruple XL if that’s available yeah what are you far you must be like a north of 5X cuz No no no bro below below the waist i’m not that big unfortunately been told several times one of those cartoon characters you know it looks really good sort of diamond right but I don’t even have the PE amazing in the shot but if you actually pan out he’s got chicken legs all right mate all the best for um for everything you do in the future and and keep living the dream yeah boy keep presenting cheers cousins thank you cheers brother [Applause] i tell you look the legend of this week is a lady called Crystal Hackett do you know who Crystal Hackett is of course who she’s the lady that This is Crystal Hackett and this was a magnificent effort and this is why she is our legend of the week have a look at Crystal Hacket here now first of all that’s not ideal getting tipped out at that stage but have a look at how game and brave she is this is not the first time Britney that she’s done this oh over the Jutterbar there is she is she going to get up and water oh but um she’s a gutsy we crystal i think they’re trained when the when the horse races off to not let go i think that’s part of what they do cuz the horse will just keep going i don’t know that much that’s all I knew we had a crack at the uh um Wellington Cup and uh somebody offered to go out said “Have you done any riding?” I said “Yeah of course mate plenty of high country mustering i’ve done a few western down to so forth you know with the uh Otago boys.” And they said “Would you ride the Clark of the Courses horse out?” And uh you know and you know the big bloated white thing three sheets i had a few sherbets yeah of course of course and so they stuck me in this little jockeyy’s tight outfit jumped on it and you went out and you lead the the raceh horses out and then they started sprinting past you know and this [ __ ] thing took off after it right and I haven’t ever ridden in my life so I just grabbed the knob in the middle and it was literally like a [ __ ] ro it overtook all but one horse and the horse that didn’t overtake turned and it went bam and ran straight into it knocked the jockey off and the other horse started sprinting around around the track this is no [ __ ] and and I I had to walk back in front of the stand got a standing ovation never bought a beer for the rest of the day it was absolutely televised it was my first game for the Warriors i said you know and John Mooney who’s a mad gambler was watching his new recruit getting thrown off a horse shanking his favorite and then walking back in front of the stand it was an absolute disaster right now it’s a good time to call you and Paul from the TAB um Crystal Hackett ah Crystal i see the name and then I didn’t have a question sorry it’s live television better camera angle this week mate looking good you’re not wearing the beanie either no it got wet at golf on the weekend so it’s drying out uh he’s had a haircut though haven’t you yeah I have actually i can see it mate is it Is it further off your forehead now that you’ve been on Sports Keep for a few weeks is it is it being hard getting recognized in the streets and stuff no yeah what do you mean like no one watches this [ __ ] exactly mate who are you fooling give us some give us some tips for the weekend right out well why don’t we just look back at the US Open first because I I would say most non-golfers in fact there’d probably be a few golfers who don’t know the name JJ uh Spawn or who didn’t know the name JJ Spawn before the US Open uh he opened up at $151 to win the US Open and uh there are look there were a few pundits who jumped on but um because he wasn’t that well known um he was a pretty good result for us so we’ve been doing it tough over the last few weeks so we finally got one back uh Ryan Fox who finished in a four-way tie in 19th rewarded punters who backed him to finish in the top 20 uh I think it was around $4 $450 prior to the tournament starting to finish in the top 20 so a wee bit of money for Kiwi punters who love to back Foxy tell me what’s going to happen in the Super Rugby final well the bookies don’t know because they’ve uh opened up both teams at A1 190 so they’re waiting for punters to decide who the favorite should be i think the best bet there is probably either team to win by under seven and a half which is paying $210 as we speak um look they argue you could argue they’re the two best teams have made it through to the final uh and we saw last week first of all that defensive stand by the Crusaders in the final minutes against the Blues and that defensive try saving tackle from DMAC for the Chiefs that both teams um defensively are very very solid so I see this going either way in a very very close game so either team under seven and a half at $210 looks a good bet for Do you have do you have odds on the ref sending somebody off oh we used to have Will there be a red card will there be a yellow card um I don’t think we do that anymore though Mark because there’s I’d imagine you got absolutely hammered on that yeah the answer is yes every single game so yep money on that guaranteed will you be going down uh no i’m heading up north for the Warriors Panthers game uh this Saturday late afternoon so you’ve been to many Warriors games uh I’ve been to two or three this season so far and what are the odds of them taking out the whole competition now that that you know we’re getting to the more the business end and they’re doing pretty well yeah well uh first of all this weekend they’re $126 to beat the Panthers who are out at around $3.90 um in terms of winning the actual competition the Warriors are now fourth favorite at $9 in behind the Melbourne Storm the Bulldogs and the Raiders and they are no surprises our worst result by far all right mate make sure you wear your beanie when you go to the Warriors yeah mate hook into it at the Warriors yeah well no don’t don’t worry and don’t forget State of Origin of course this uh Wednesday game two out at Perth and the promo team have put a little special together just place a three or le a three plus leg same game multi and if you miss by one leg we’ll give you your money back up to $50 in bonus cash three a leg more a few of those league boys are wandering around with three legs aren’t they pretty big big creatures on Quick get out of there Paul quick don’t answer the question just jump cheers lads thanks mate mate I tell you what we’ve really missed Lana oh you going to do something for Lana just Should we sing happy birthday or something look I got some from Door Dash have given us some Duck Island ice cream i didn’t I didn’t No that’s mine that’s actually bloody good that one and this There you go there’s Oh little s’mores s’mores and uh cooking and creams okay cheers mate and uh and this is for you Ellie some fairy bread mate [ __ ] and And for me I didn’t get one for you we can fear it we can fair it um now big week uh this week or it might have been last week but big week recently uh Daniel Vtori yes into the International Cricket Hall of Fame as he should be yeah he was I thought he wasn’t there where you going with my ice cream hey where you going with my ice cream the [ __ ] show’s over in it no okay here’s a clip of uh of Vtori like a 100 years ago when we were famous when you’re when you’re a school boy cricket that were you a fast bowler or have you always been a spin bowler because you’re a tall person so I would have thought you would have I didn’t start growing till late so until I was about 15 I was I was a fast bowler medium fast bowler and about that time I switched over did you have a bit of mangrell on you did you like sort of hurting people and stuff well as Mark said I’m not don’t impose myself as a security guard so I didn’t have uh a lot of mangro on can you bowl a bouncer can you bowl a bouncer yes you can cool can you pull one out for us over there like I mean what’s the worst that can happen you can’t influence international cricket games Mark no but I mean I bet you’d like to do it i mean what’s the worst that can happen hit for six exactly exactly and in a test that can’t But you could theoretically frighten him if if spinner hit you in the head i mean it’s the ultimate embarrassment isn’t it yeah definitely i haven’t seen it happen before but it would just I don’t all right the guest is finished and you’re just gorging mate it’s ice cream it’s ice cream yeah they are pleasant um now I have found a new way of uh improving this show um I’ve I’ve worked out how to create um so the human cannibal wouldn’t come on he’s refusing to come on basically because you abuse him most weeks on the show i love him he’s my greatest mate i know what he’s mate he’s your greatest mate but he won’t He [ __ ] hate you he won’t come on the show so that’s no longer a problem that’s like nine out of 10 of the people watching no not nine out of 10 i’ve got 11% that like me we haven’t had one guest since I’ve been on you can’t get a guest in the studio nobody’s coming to the studio i was your first guest and I haven’t left no one else No one else wants to come i just I think I’m the problem with this he came He came on as a guest and now he’s and now I’m here i’ve worked it out i’ve worked out a solution yeah every time we get a guest on they’re going to be a permanent member because we’re just so thrilled you turned up no is to is to create um talent stars human cannibals from artificial intelligence hello my name is Brian and as you know I am a wombat i represent the human cannonball who has been preparing to come back to Sports Cafe hard and erect just need to work on that glide time see it’s actually quite how that’s quite good yeah looks How did you get that done you just in this artificial intelligence world you just sort of tell it what to do and that’s what comes out you know that um you used to be able to you know you go on a boat out to sea for a long time there’s lots only guys you buy like it’s called a sailor sweetheart right and uh now you can buy them in real life is that a fishing is that a fishing it’s It’s called a latex angel and it’s like a full you know size of your time chief what do you surprised no but what you I mean the clever guys on the boat basically hired the latex angel out you know or the or the sailor sweetheart out yes a good boat should have a built into it every bathroom on a boat am I got a bill i’d love to go fishing with you two clowns maybe if you stopped eating you’d find this funny too great show Rick yeah can Can I I I was trying to Yeah you were trying to have a normal show mate nobody else wants it take a breath everyone just get to normal right you all right you all calm down that was good no I’m I think I think it’s a good time to end the show now yeah yeah you still got food all over your face with Lana this is just a I don’t want I don’t want to recreate you an artificial intelligence i really really really need you to come back ellie yeah I can go if you want no you were no help in helping me calm everything down well it’s pretty funny mate if you loosened up you’d [ __ ] enjoy it too mate can I ask you about the Super Rugby final oh yeah let’s get on to something important it’ll it’ll be all cut out mate don’t worry about it yeah it will be he ruins it it’s a great show until he edits it it’s a great show because I edit it and you’re out of jail because I edit it you know maybe I’d prefer to be in jail with my sailor sweetheart i’d make a [ __ ] [ __ ] ton of money wouldn’t you i’d certainly got a watch no anyway about the Super Rugby Final it’s over a Yep yeah cool yeah he’s gone super rugby final well it’s pretty tough to go down there and win i was going to say how how they talk about home advantage all that yeah obviously it’s important but in a final like this Chief’s playing pretty good nothing to lose hey you guys just carry on with the Yeah we’ll have a proper show now roll the titles is it big is it That’s a big It makes a big difference you think mate it’s They haven’t lost down there in 31 in um finals it’s the last game as well in that stadium too too too right actually it’ll be it’ll be a magical uh magical occasion for for everyone i just the only one time I’ve wanted the Chiefs to win is when Brody Retellic was playing his last game so we finished about 10 minutes ago crusaders will um come we take it would be my guys we finished oh well I’m going for Crusaders hopefully but we finished good well you got money on the Crusaders right the show’s over is it tab they sponsor the show mate giving them plug how was your show anyway guys that that’s it from us is that us thanks [Music]

20 years since his iconic US Open win, Michael Campbell joins us to reflect on his career, the truth about Tiger Woods, playing with Samuel L Jackson and Ryan Fox’s heroics.

Ric finds a way to re-introduce The Human Cannonball to the show, we speak to up and coming surfer Kehu Butler, recap the Super Rugby action, and the show descends into madness without Lana’s presence.