There’s always a moment when I’m doing these reviews that I can’t help feeling, for want of a better description, like a prize prat.
It’s the part where the cocktails come out, and I instinctively pin down my other half’s hand as he reaches for his, while I start a mini photo and video shoot.
The Cowgirl Lounge is based at the Cave Hotel and Golf Resort
After five solid minutes of foot-tapping, whistling, and inspecting the beer mats while I’m finding the best angles and lighting – and trying to ignore the side-eye I’m getting from other patrons – he is eventually rewarded with his first sip as I slump back, looking like an Instagram junkie who’s just had their hit.
It’s all in the line of duty, of course, but it doesn’t make me feel any less silly.
At the Cowgirl Lounge though, live-streaming your round isn’t judged – everyone’s doing it.
This slick fusion restaurant and bar is very much a place to see and be seen. If I was ever going to bump into a Love Islander or Towie star in Kent, it’d be here.
This branch of the Korean Cowgirl outfit opened at the luxury Cave Hotel and Golf Resort in Boughton-under-Blean in 2021 and is marketed as East meets West – a bold collision between Texas and Asia.
The bar is styled like a high-end ranch
It’s the States that definitely wins out when it comes to the decor.
With burnished wood, flickering faux fires and curated cowboy/girl cool, it’s a high-end ranch fantasy. I was fully on board with it, just pass me my Stetson!
Open the menu, though, and we’re back in Asia, with some chilli, lychee and yuzu twists on the usual cocktail classics.
Given the ‘go big or go home’ approach to the concept and design, I was a bit surprised not to see more experimentation with the drink combinations, though, with the list quickly petering out into the usual suspects – margaritas, cosmos and daiquiris.
I go for one of the more exotic ones, the K-Pop Martini, while my drinking buddy goes for one he can’t pronounce and the waitress can’t explain – the Maeun. Google, however, tells us that it is the Korean word for ‘hot’ and on further inspection of the ingredients, we see it’s just a rebranded Picante, or fiery margarita.
The Maeun and K-Pop Martini were beautifully presented
Mine, on the other hand, we deciphered, was a pornstar martini with added yuzu – basically the lovechild of a lemon and a mandarin.
They were stunning to look at – particularly mine, which came with edible flowers – and we had zero complaints on the flavours. But despite the exotic rebranding, they just felt a little familiar.
At £15 each, I found myself searching for the twist that would justify the price tag.
Having recently joined the second-hand bandwagon ahead of moving house, and had my eyes opened to the world of Vinted and Facebook Marketplace, it’s quite confronting when a round costs more than your dining room table went for.
That bad boy was oak, too.
The bar is given a cosy feel with faux fires all around
Meanwhile, Ryanair’s selling flights to Alicante for £14.99. Could I have done better with that hard-earned cash than the drink in my hand?
Maybe I’m just grumpy because I’ve been spoiled. A few weeks ago, I enjoyed a fabulous Pornstar Martini at Lizzie’s Lounge for just £4.50, which I enjoyed every bit as much.
As a decider, I went for the Espresso Martini next – the other drink I’d raved about at Lizzie’s. Again, it was £15 versus £4.50, but this time the bargain one won!
The Cowgirl Lounge’s version was good, no doubt, but the addition of agave nectar made it just a little too sweet for me. It just took the edge off that coffee punch.
My other half had already tapped out at this point, nervous about the bill.
A Honeybee Espresso Martini at the Cowgirl Lounge
Meanwhile, I quickly check Vinted to see if I’ve shifted that coffee machine yet – that should make a dent in it at least.
I’m not just picking on the Cowgirl Lounge here. Increasingly, cocktails have been nudging the £15 mark on my travels.
But if you are going to part with that kind of money, you expect to go away feeling special, and while the decor and ambience were top-notch, the drinks didn’t manage to match those heights, nor did the service.
Not being able to answer a question about the menu is fine, but wouldn’t you offer to go and find out? Then, getting a second round saw us taking turns on ‘trying to get eye-contact’ duty. And there was a rigmarole attached to getting the receipt.
Small details, yes, but ones you aren’t as quick to brush off when you’re paying top whack.
Catch up with the Secret Drinker’s latest review here
I should say at this point that it’s a different story when it comes to the food at the Cave Hotel. While I haven’t tried the Korean Cowgirl’s dishes, I’ve been upstairs at the Firepit Restaurant, which, while also pricey, truly does hit the mark when it comes to unforgettable fusion.
Their miso black cod lives in my head rent-free. Just, wow!
Perhaps that’s what raised my expectations so high for the drinks – that and the opulent feel to the whole place, from the long approach down the gravel driveway and past the Chelsea tractors in the car park, to the flickering fake fires inside.
But visiting the Cowgirl Lounge for drinks alone felt like an underwhelming Tinder date.
The photos were immaculate, there was that confident bio, and strong first impression – but maybe not quite the substance you’d hoped for once you sat down.
The entrance of the Korean Cowgirl and Cowgirl Lounge
Cowgirl Lounge at Cave Hotel and Golf Resort, Brickfield Lane, Boughton-under-Blean, Faversham, ME13 9AJ
Décor: I love the bold ranch aesthetic. Every corner feels styled, staged and ready for its close-up and it’s got to be one of the most attractive bars in Kent *****
Drinks: The cocktails were good, not great, and lacking some of the experimentation that this fusion bar’s look and attitude seemed to promise. Mainly though, they just weren’t memorable enough for the price point ***
Price: The cocktails ranged from £13-16, with most around £15. I think you know where I stand on this one – when you can fly to Spain for the same price as a drink, and it doesn’t blow your mind, something’s gone wrong *
Staff: Everyone was friendly and professional, but at somewhere so high-end you expect flawless service, and it didn’t quite hit the mark ***
Best for: Special occasions or date night