ISRAEL IRAN PATRICK MAHOMES BROCK PURDY JALEN HURTS AARON RODGERS

all right Israel and Iran are having major beef To me Iran is like Baker Mayfield He causes a lot of problems last season Baker Mayfield can be very dangerous A as the Detroit Lions and and the Philadelphia Eagles have found out for the last couple of seasons Baker Mayfield can be very dangerous but at the same time nobody really feels that Baker Mayfield has the weapons to win a Super Bowl And similarly nobody really believes Iran has the capability to win a geopolitical war So for me Iran is like Baker Mayfield Israel Israel is Aaron Rogers Like a lot of people love him a lot of people hate him Um for me it’s kind of like like I haven’t been following like the ins and outs of of Aaron Rogers drama so I I don’t know the deets okay but I just feel like like when I see Aaron Rogers now I feel like huh you’re you’re you’re way more aggro than I remember Uh whenever I see him on McAfee or Rogan now he’s always at an 11 Like maybe you want to like turn it down a scoch bro I I understand you’re upset Maybe you have like a like totally legitimate reasons for being upset I don’t know But uh maybe maybe turn it down a scoch Just a scoch ratchet it down from like a an 11 to a nine I would say But I don’t know I don’t know Uh China China China China China China for me is is Josh Allen Okay Uh I’ve been hearing forever that China is going to take Taiwan When though uh similarly Josh Allen I keep hearing Josh Allen’s going to win a Super Bowl When though okay uh if China couldn’t take Taiwan when the United States was bogged down in in in in in Iraq and Afghanistan for 20 years with with with with all that war weariness Do you remember that i’m old enough to remember like how war weary the country was during that time period especially around 2006 Remember 2006 2007 2000 it just kept dragging on I feel like if if if China couldn’t take Taiwan then when are they ever going to be able to take Taiwan similarly if Josh Allen couldn’t beat the Chiefs when they were up on them a couple years ago if he couldn’t beat the Chiefs when they got rid of Tyreek Hill if he couldn’t beat the Chiefs uh last season when are they ever going to beat the Chiefs when when are they ever when is Josh Allen ever going to win a a Super Bowl and I hear about these rare minerals like they’re super important for batteries and magnets right and I’m an idiot What do I know i will defer to your expertise In the same way that Rich Madrid comes here and and extols the virtues of Josh Allen I’m like “Okay fine Maybe everything you’re saying is true but how come uh it never happens?” I I’m starting to believe Josh Allen and China are all hype to be honest with you I’m starting to think it’s all hype Korea Korea is uh Korea is Justin Herbert South Korea is Justin Herbert in the sense that it almost it almost doesn’t matter what what what Justin Herbert does on the field because he’s got a 10 out of 10 quarterback face He’s big he’s tall he’s strong he’s fast he’s got a amazing arm It almost on some level doesn’t matter what he what he does on the field And South Korea [Music] I I guess they make TVs right they make TVs Okay credit to that to them They make some TVs Other than that it seems to me as an idiot as an idiot that doesn’t know anything it seems to me their major export is being hot That seems to be South Korea That seems to be their version of oil is being hot Like I’ve got my Non shirt right here This time this time doesn’t be complicated tonight alone for love for love with you and I tonight [Music] for your heart I’m qualified I love Naun I love Naun But um [Music] being hot seems to be like the major export there Um [Music] India is Lamar Jackson Like I I I’ve heard I’ve heard so much about India the population they’re making iPhones now Okay But uh how come same with like like Lamar Jackson I keep hearing like “Oh how great he is How come he never wins anything how come he always peters out in the playoffs say so so India to me is is Lamar Jackson New Zealand is Brock party Like I love New Zealand I would love to live in New Zealand right but it’s small It’s small And if there was ever a war they would need help And I’m sure you would say “Well everybody needs help Every quarterback needs help.” I know I know But New Zealand especially would need help it No it’s true But I love New Zealand I love New Zealand Uh Saudi Arabia is Jaylen Herz Uh Qatar Dubai and Saudi Arabia are the Philadelphia Eagles dude Because I don’t mean to be offensive but I don’t know where they would be without oil And I don’t know where the Eagles I think I actually have a good guess where where they would be without oil And I think I have a good guess of where the Eagles would be without the tush push And I know it sounds like sour grapes when I complain about the tush push but come on dude Like you you you don’t understand what that does to the defense in terms of like uh opening up uh the passing game because you have to be so so worried about that and how you have to treat second down like third down that you know you the the the pressure is immense that that causes you that if you let them get to third and two or third and one it’s over It’s a first down You don’t know what that what that does to a defense Imagine if you had five downs right imagine what that would do to your offense That’s is essentially what’s going on with the Eagles is they essentially have five downs So um yeah I don’t know I don’t know what what Saudi Arabia would be like without oil I think I actually do I’m just I’m just saying that I don’t know where where Saudi Arabia would be without oil And I don’t know where the Eagles would be without the tush bush And again of course I know where they would be without the tush bush I’m I’m doing phrasing Come on Japan is Joe Flacco Uh Joe Flacco had a legendary playoff run Uh legendary Super Bowl run Like he beat he beat uh Peyton Manning’s Denver Broncos He beat Tom Brady’s New England Patriots He beat Harbaugh that great Harbaugh 49ers team That that fourth and one call still bugs me There’s some like controversy like did Colin Kaepernick did did did Jim Harbaugh want to hand it off to uh Frank Gore like on a draw but but Colin Kaepernick allegedly audible to a fade to uh Michael Crabtree I don’t know but um sorry I’m having like uh like Vietnam PTSD from that but um okay what were we talking about okay so Japan is Joe Flacco Like Japan they had a legendary run there Like when they sort of resisted the Mongols that was that was big time When they resisted Kubla Khan or whoever it was whichever Khan it was when when when they had to open up to the West and they were humiliated by that and they never wanted it to happen again So they rapidly industrialized they rapidly westernized they started wearing like western suits the whole thing as as quickly as possible And they did in fact uh have some big wins over Russia Big H wrote about that because you know Big H hated the the Russians So he uh he he he actually that that’s one of the things that kind of like um led Big H to to have an alliance with Japan is is that is is the the acrimony between Japan and Russia Anyways whatever Uh but then you know the Japan has kind of faded away the same way like Joe Flacco like he just kind of hangs around now He just kind of hangs around now The Browns and the Colts he just goes from team to team just kind of hanging out Um same with Japan Like I don’t know I don’t know what Japan is really other than cartoons What what’s going on over there like cartoons just cartoons really right i don’t know The United States is Patrick Mahomes At his peak he was just unbelievable Okay And and similarly no civilization in history could project its power globally the way the United States could and and to this day can Uh soft power economic power just in terms of like its arsenal right uh no civilization not the Mongols not the Romans not the British could ever project its power globally the way the United States can At the same time uh it’s it’s kind of a it’s kind of a mess A lot of a lot of chaos in the households Same with with Patrick Mahomes The wife is clearly going through some things The brother is being the brother Uh it’s it’s it’s a mess It’s a mess And Patrick Mahomes maybe as a result of that has been declining for years now So we shall see if Patrick Mahomes can can recapture his greatness The UK is Tom Brady Uh they won a lot of Super Bowls big big wins over Napoleon big wins over the Desert Fox in North Africa Uh the Battle of Brit the Battle of Britain was like the the Tom Brady’s comeback against the Falcons That’s the Battle of Britain was was like coming back from from from being down 28 to three in the Super Bowl That’s what the Battle of Britain was Legendary comeback by the British there Um so the British are Tom Brady Is there is there anybody else we’ve missed here the Palestinians The The Palestinians to me Who are the Pal the Palestinians the Palestinians are like the Pac 10 Yeah The Palestinians remind me of the Pac [Music] And I can’t wait until we reunite I can help to ease your mind And even if you’re low sometimes I can be the one to pick you all the way up Baby when you’re feeling down you just got to let me know There ain’t no problem for love with you and I