US Presidents Rank Horror Games

US Presidents Rank Horror Games

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All right folks welcome back to president’s play we’re back with another spooky Showdown except this time we ain’t talking debates we’re talking demons that’s right it’s horror game time you call this scary come on sleepy Joe even melania’s bedtime stories are spookier than your socks remember those clowns hiding in the Oval Office

Hilarious now now boys let’s keep it civil remember bipartisanship is still a thing even with zombies chasing us down so which horrifying Masterpiece do we tackle first any suggestions me me I know the scariest game ever sleepy Joe simulator Graphics are terrible gameplay sucks the protagonist can barely string

A sentence together hey watch your grandpa loving mouth Donald besides who’s scared of a little jump scare now and then keeps you young I always say all right settle down you two how about we start with something classic Dead Space now that’s a game that knows how

To make you sweat all right folks buckle up for some Interstellar chills this time we’re blasting off with dead space 2023 remember that creepy mining ship full of Necromorphs talk about a real bad neighborhood oh those slimy Space Zombies terrible for Ratings let me tell you no wonder the ishimura stock

Plummeted faster than my approval rating after tweeting about bleach injections come on Donald give it some credit the atmosphere was thick enough to cut with a plasma cutter the dismemberment mechanic was well creative and let’s not forget those jump scares that could make a T-Rex jump jump scares those are just

Cheap tricks for the faint of heart Real Horror is facing a Twitter mob armed with nothing but emojis and bad grammar now that’s terrifying easy there Tiger but I see your point Barack Dead Space wasn’t all about Cheap Thrills it had that psychological Edge that feeling feeling

Of being utterly alone in the cold void with only your plasma cutter and questionable sanity for company fine fine it had its moments but honestly it wasn’t as scary as say watching my presidency go down the drain like a malfunctioning toilet on Air Force One all right let’s cut to the chase where

Does dead space fall on the great presidential horror scale God tiar goated good mid or shudder awful well it wasn’t the most original plot but the tension was real the visual were topnotch and dismembering those Necromorphs was oddly satisfying let’s call it good solid horror kept me on the

Edge of my seat without giving me nightmares good come on Joe you’re going soft in your old age I say mid not bad but not enough to make me cancel my next round of golf four h I’m somewhere in between the atmosphere was A+ gameplay

Was B+ but the story dragged a bit in the later chapters I’ll go with good with a leaning towards mid sounds like we can all agree on good then a decent scare for a decent night in uh now let’s blast off to another haunted corner of the gaming Universe

Any requests gentlemen you know I’ve always been curious about this Little Indie darling called super Bernie BRS heard it’s got some real revolutionary gameplay oh delightful can’t wait to spend an hour dodging falling tax cuts and leaping over rising sea levels maybe we can even unlock a Medicare PowerUp

All right all right settle down let’s keep the political commentary out of this one who’s got a genuinely scary suggestion I’m craving some good oldfashioned chills all right folks time to dive into a tale darker than a cup of midnight coffee let’s talk Alan Wake too Allan Wake more like Allan yawn guy

Writes a book gets trapped in it sounds like my autobiography except with better ratings don’t be so quick to judge Donald remedy knows how to spin a spooky story remember those creepy Woods that Eerie atmosphere plus flashlights are way more effective against Shadow monsters than bleach injections yeah yeah I’ll admit the

Visuals were pretty slick but the game play all that running and flashlight waving it’s like a cardio workout for scaredy cats got to agree with you there Donald not exactly my idea of a good time I’d rather face a pack of angry Senators than click a flashlight a

Thousand times my arthritis can’t handle it fair point but the story was gripping right the way it blurred the lines between reality and fiction it kept me guessing till the very end oh I love stories especially the ones where I win bigly and everyone else cries fake news

But this one hey it was okay not as twisty as my tax returns that’s for sure so where does Allan Wake 2 land on the presidential horror scale god tier goated good mid or awful I’m leaning towards good solid atmosphere decent story but the gameplay got a bit

Repetitive it’s like reading a good book with a few too many typos good n I’m calling it mid not bad but not enough to keep me up past my bedtime got to agree with you both on that one good but not great now let’s turn the page to another

Spine tingling Adventure any suggestions all right folks who’s ready to revisit a classic time to dust off our zombie killing skills and head back to the chilling Village of Resident Evil 4 Resident Evil that’s what like 20-year-old Graphics right my Twitter emojis are scarier than those pixelated

Gonad now now Donald re4 might be old but it’s a gold mine of scares remember that chainsaw guy pure nightmare fuel chainsaws B I deal with those every day in the Oval Office figuratively speaking of course fake news media tax audits those Senate investigations they’re all real chainsaw wielding monsters let me

Tell you come on Donald give the game some credit the atmosphere was thick with suspense the bosses were terrifying and that Merchant guy classic what are you buying could give me chills any day Merchant sounds like another one of sleepy Joe’s socialist buddies always asking for handouts no thank you I

Prefer my horror with clear winners and losers like my trade deals China pays America wins now Donald remember we’re here to scare ourselves not each other so tell me how would you rate re4 on the presidential fright scale god tier goated good mid or the horror awful H

Got to hand it to them the devs knew how to build tension and that knife fighting mechanic not bad although I could teach them a thing or two about Close Quarters combat I’ll say good not revolutionary but definitely kept me awake for a few extra hours agreed good with a leaning

Towards goated the story might be a bit campy but the gameplay and atmosphere are Timeless plus who can forget Leon Kennedy dude’s got Swagger for days sounds like we all agree re4 isn’t a presidential nightmare but it’s a solid scarefest now who’s got another chilling classic up their sleeve let’s keep the

Horror train rolling all right folks we’re going deep into darkness this time buckle up for amnesia the bunker World War I trenches claustrophobic tunnels and a monster that hates light sounds like my perfect weekend getaway easy there Donald this ain’t your usual Golf Course romp this game’s about pure

Unadulterated fear remember that creepy gas mask guy the way he’d just lunge Out of the Shadows enough to make you jump out of your skin and into the next time zone and the Darkness Barack so thick you could cut it with a Bayonet every Creek every groan it’s like the bunker

Itself is Whispering your worst nightmares no wonder poor hry loses his mind faster than a politician in campaign season losing your mind and now that’s something I know a thing or two about fake news media loves to twist my words turn every tweet into a meltdown but this bunker this it’s different it’s

Like staring into the abyss and the abyss stares back exactly the atmosphere it’s suffocating you’re constantly on edge waiting for the next jump scare the next glimpse of the monster and the game play Resource Management crafting keeping the lights on it’s like a psychological torture test disguised as

A video game I like it a challenge this ain’t your grandpa’s horror game Joe this is a master class in Terror a symphony of Screams I tell you this Amnesia the bunker it’s god tier folks pure unadulterated nightmare fuel god god tier you sure Donald I mean the

Scares were real the tension thick but Joe I agree with Donald on this one this game isn’t just scary it’s an experience it messes with your head makes you question your own sanity that’s true horror and Amnesia the bunker delivers it in Spades that’s what I’m talking

About this is the kind of game that makes you sleep with the lights on check your closet every 5 minutes and swear you hear Whispers in the dead of night god tier folks absolutely God tier all right all right you two win god tier it is now who’s got the guts for another

Round of existential dread let’s keep the nightmares coming okay folks we faced zombies Necromorphs even chainsaw psychos and who’s ready to dive into the deep end of dread time for dredge fishing more like fishing for nightmares fishing sounds boring I catch bigger fish on Twitter every day fake news

Media snowflakes losing elections those are real monsters oh Donald don’t underestimate the ocean’s Horrors this ain’t your grandpa’s base fishing trip imagine casting off into a swirling Abyss knowing something lurks below watching waiting Abyss sounds like the Democrat spending plan bottomless pit of debt dragging us all down now that’s scary

Not the same Donald this game’s all about the atmosphere the creeping dread as you explore that cursed archipelago every Creek of the boat every slimy catch you’re never sure what’s next creaky boats slimy fish sounds like my last trip to maral Lago after a hurricane mildew flooded basement tiny alligators in the golf

Course now that’s a real horror show can’t argue with that Donald but dredge it’s a different kind of awful the visuals are muddy the controls clunky The Story So cryptic it makes my speeches look clear agreed it’s like someone mashed up a fishing simulator with a bad lovecraftian dream and

Released it without testing I spent more time fighting the clunky interface than the sea monsters interface monsters those are the worst buttons that don’t work menus that crash tweets that get autocorrected now that’s pure unadulterated frustration exactly dredge ain’t scary it’s just awful a frustrating mess that left me wanting to

Throw my controller into the real ocean awful couldn’t agree more let’s steer clear of that one next time folks unless you enjoy virtual seasickness and existential dread with a side of buggy controls I’ll stick to my Twitter monsters thanks fake news is scary enough for me now pass the popcorn

Someone I need something sweet to erase the taste of that digital nightmare all right folks time to cleanse the pallet with some good oldfashioned Terror grab your chainsaws it’s the Texas Chainsaw Massacre game chainsaws big fan used one to trim the White House Hedges once fake news media called it property damage

Bunch of snowflakes not that kind of Chainsaw Donald we’re talking leather-faced cannibals running for your life from a family of crazy with power tools running I prefer Victory laps won the election twice you know biggest win in history maybe ever nobody runs better than me not in this game Donald you’re the prey

Not the politician remember those creepy meat hooks the bone chilling Chase enough to make you forget all about election night chases I outrun protesters all the time easy just got to tweet a few facts boom they run away with their tails between their legs Donald Donald this game’s got atmosphere

Jump scares a healthy dose of Gore not the most original story but the tensions thick enough to cut with a well you get the idea Gore sounds messy not a fan of sticky situations remember that time I had to shake hands with that slimy foreign leader uh nightmare

Fuel this ain’t a diplomatic dinner Donald it’s survival horror you hide you fight you hope you don’t end up on the dinner table mid tier I’d say not bad but not enough to keep me up all night with the chainsaw light flickering under my door yeah mid- tier with potential

Could have been scarier but the game play is decent the settings iconic it’s like a haunted Texas road trip without the bris pass on the brisket too too fatty give me a wellone steak with ketchup now that’s scary let’s move on to something with less Gore and more winning all

Right okay folks buckle up for the big leagues time to face the darkness of the Outlast trials Cold War experiments monstrous test subjects your sanity hanging by a thread experiments fake news my beautiful brain is perfect no test needed except maybe a lie detector test for the those crooked Democrats not

That kind Donald this game’s a descent into psychological horror meroff messing with your mind turning friends into foes blurring reality into a twisted nightmare Mind Games amateurs I play chess on five boards at once blindfolded with my hair perfectly quaffed Nobody messes with Donald J Trump’s mind ha not

So fast Donald this ain’t just jump scares and Gore It’s the atmosphere fear the paranoia the feeling of being watched hunted experimented on makes you question everything even your own reflection agreed the visuals are haunting the sound design brilliant every Creek every whisper keeps you on the edge of your seat heart pounding

Faster than a re-election night edge of my seat I built this seat Golden Throne finest upholstery perfect for tweeting Victory speeches no room for nightmares but the story Donald The Mystery of meroff the the Twisted experiments the fight for survival against impossible odds it’s like a political thriller on

Acid except the stakes are your sanity goated tear no doubt it’s not just scary it’s unsettling thought-provoking makes you question the nature of Good and Evil the price of progress the fragility of your own mind fine fine goated if you’re into that weird stuff give me a good

Rally fireworks chanting Maga crowds now that’s what chills me to each their own Donald now who’s got the guts for another round of existential dread let’s keep the nightmares coming okay folks diving into murky Waters this time paranorm site Hanjo seven Mysteries sounds like my tax returns Hanjo never

Heard of it probably sleepy Joe’s imaginary City full of fake ghosts and socialist Spooks it’s a visual novel Donald Japanese ghosts cursed locations amateur sleuths think Scooby-Doo with bad Sushi Scooby-Doo sounds lame I catch real monsters like the radical left the Deep State the media mob those are real

Scares not the same Donald this game plot thinner than my pancakes jump scares predictable as a Biden speech characters flatter than Trump’s hair agreed awful tear all the way dialogue makes my teleprompter weep story meanders like a lost tourist visuals blurry as a politician’s promise Amen to

That Donald next game let’s stick to something with more spine tingling Thrills and less bureaucratic paperwork all right folks time to blast off into a different kind of horror buckle up for lethal company Scavenging scrap on moon mines hunted by mutant Horrors and corporate greed welcome to the real

Nightmare hold on Barack Moon mines zombies is this my dementia acting up again zombies I deal with those every day in the swamp fake news media swamp creatures the lot nothing nothing scares me these ain’t your garden variety zombies Donald they’re Twisted mutated monstrosities fueled by desperation in

The cold void of space one bite and your corporate property forever corporate property sounds like my tax code confusing unfair designed to squeeze every penny Wait you said bite now that’s scary and the atmosphere Donald claustrophobic tunnels flickering Neon Lights the everpresent reminder of the crushing debt you ow to the company it’s

Enough to make even a politician sweat debt now that’s a real monster millions billions never ending audits I Tell You Folks lethal company ain’t just scary it’s relatable ha agreed Donald it’s not just the jump scares or the Gore It’s the social commentary the feeling of being

Trapped in a system you can’t escape god tier horror folks makes you question everything from corporate greed to the meaning of life in space okay okay god tier if you’re into that existential stuff give me a good rally a crowd chanting lock them up now that’s the

Kind of horror I enjoy to each their own Donald now who’s got the guts for another trip to the corporate moonm let’s face our financial and existential dreads head on all right folks brace yourselves for a masterclass in dread time to unravel the madness in layers of

Fear layers of what sounds boring my have more layers than an onion each one peeling back the truth about sleepy Joe and his socialist swamp not that kind of layers Donald this is a descent into the mind of a tormented artist his fears and regrets manifesting as Twisted nightmares

Tormented artist sounds like every critic who ever reviewed my presidency whining complaining never appreciating the genius not your critics Donald this is about confronting your own demons the dark darkness that lurks within every Creek of the floorboard every hidden canvas a whisper of your deepest anxieties anxieties I deal with enough

Of those every day from the fake news media witch hunts hoaxes investigations those are real nightmares but the art Donald the shifting rooms the Warped Memories the everpresent feeling that nothing is real it’s like walking through your own Twisted autobiography except the ending is even worse God tier no doubt it’s not just

Scary it’s introspective unsettling makes you question your own sanity your perception of reality the very nature of art itself fine fine god tier if you’re into that Arty stuff give me a good rally fireworks chanting crowds now that’s terrifying Different Strokes Donald now who’s got the guts for another round of existential brush

Strokes let’s keep the mind bending scares coming all right folks buckle up for some wild west weirdness time to face your demons in blood West Undead Gunslingers cursed lands a bullet for every bad memory Undead fake news I’m the most alive person you know two scoops of ice cream

Healthiest president ever nothing scares me these ain’t your grandpappy zombies Donald their Gunslingers Twisted by time and Magic vengeful Shadows on the dusty Plains one shot and you’re stuck in this Purgatory forever Purgatory sounds like the Democrat spending plan endless debt promises never kept a bottomless pit of bills now that’s

Scary but the atmosphere Donald sunbaked deserts haunting ghost towns Whispers of old sins echoing on the Wind every tumble weed feels like a tumble into the grave tumble weeds those things are a nuisance clogging up the Border stealing American jobs now that’s a real horror story but the story Donald looping

Timelines hidden secrets choices that Echo across eternity you’re not just shooting your way out you’re confronting your past rewriting your own damn Legend god tier no question it’s not just shooting and looting it’s a philosophical tumble weed into the abyss makes you question life death and the

Price of Redemption all with a six shooter in your hand all right all right God tier if you’re into that cowboy soul searching stuff give me a good rally a crowd chanting make America great again now that’s a real thrill to each their own Donald now who’s got the guts for

Another round of gunslinging redemption let’s keep the bullets and existential dread flying Dead Island 2 sounds boring everyone knows I built the best Island Getaway Mara Lago pristine Golf Course beautiful pools only the finest Stakes no zombies allowed not your kind of Island Donald this one’s crawling with infected humans tropical Decay and

Enough Gore to make your rallies blush remember those screaming tourists Barack flailing limbs teeth like razors enough to put you off P coladas for Life fake news I love P coladas best ones in the world made with my special recipe hamburgers and ketchup delicious and very very safe the story’s a mess Donald

Same old escape the island routine just amped up to 11 with Gore and bikinis more ey candy than brain candy eye candy now that’s my kind of horror bikini clad babes fighting zombies sounds like a ratings winner folks mid tier I’d say fun for a Mindless zombie bash but don’t

Expect any deep philosophical insights just sunscreen shotguns and the occasional exploding head exploding head sounds messy give me a good rally chanting crowds firework now that’s a real spectacle to each their own Donald now who’s got the guts for another round of tropical Mayhem let’s keep the beach umbrellas and brain splatters coming

Okay folks time to get lost in the woods again sons of the forest anyone building crafting running from mutant cannibals sounds like my day at the Senate cafeteria cannibals fake news I only eat the finest steaks cooked by the best chefs at the most expensive restaurants

No jungle bugs on my plate not that kind of cannibal Donald these guys are twisted inbred live in creepy caves and collect teeth as souvenirs real nightmare fuel caves dark damp full of fake news news media bats no wonder the Democrats love them so much give me a rally stage spotlights cheering crowds

Now that’s terrifying but the crafting Donald endless chopping trees building flimsy shelters hoping you don’t accidentally eat a poisonous mushroom makes you miss the good old days of just voting out the bad guys agreed awful tier all the way glitchy controls repetitive tasks story thinner than Trump’s hairspray you spend more time

Time fighting the interface than the cannibals interface monsters those are the worst buttons that don’t work menus that crash tweets that get autocorrected now that’s pure unadulterated frustration exactly sons of the forest is like a bad camping trip with terrible company and no marshmallows next time let’s stick to something with less bugs

And more spine tingling Thrills here here who’s got the guts for something less woodsy and more terrifyingly civilized all right folks buckle up for a mind Bender time to face the ultimate fear in System Shock trapped on a haunted space station hunted by an AI gone Rogue questioning your own sanity

Every step of the way haunted space station sounds fake nobody builds better space stations than me folks big beautiful with the best space Tacos No Rogue a eyes allowed not your kind of haunted Donald this station Whispers in your ear plays with your memories makes you doubt everything you know one wrong

Move and you’re just another glitch in The Matrix Matrix fake news I built the real Matrix the greatest infrastructure plan ever walls trade deals beautiful airports no glitches allowed but the atmosphere Donald claustrophobic corridors malfunctioning robots the everpresent hum of the dying station every Creek every flicker another layer

Of paranoia and Dread agreed goated tear no question it’s not just jump scares or Monsters it’s the existential horror the blurring of reality and simulation the question of what it even means to be human existential sounds boring give me a good rally chanting crowds Victory speeches now that’s terrifying hahaa

Each to their own Donald now who’s got the guts for another round of philosophical Terror let’s keep the space station Shivers coming mask of the rose sounds boring nobody does Roses better than me folks huge beautiful the biggest bouet you’ve ever seen no spooky London monsters allowed not that kind of

Roses Donald this is fall in London you know sunless Skies talking rats and enough existential dread to fill a tax form and the game slow as molasses story thinner than Trump’s hairpiece you spend hours dressing up gossiping and dodging bad poetry makes attending Congressional hearings a thrill right dressing up fake

News I wear the best suits made by the finest tailor with the biggest most beautiful ties no need for fancy hats or talking rats but the choices Donald endless menus meaningless conversations decisions that don’t actually matter you feel like a hamster on a wheel forever stuck in the same dreary Victorian rut

Agreed awful tier all the way more of a social simulator than a horror game and not a very good one at that you’re left craving a good zombie or two to spice things up zombies I deal with those every day in the swamp fake news media

Sleepy Joe’s the lot give me a good rally fireworks chanting Maga crowds now that’s scary to each their own Donald next time let’s stick to something with less teacups and more adrenaline who’s ready for some real nightmares all right folks buckle up for another trip to the

Red planet Fort soless Mar s ain’t just for Rovers anymore trapped in a mining base gone dark haunted by Whispers And Echoes your sanity hanging by a thread this ain’t your Uncle Joe’s space adventure Dark Secrets sound Shady nobody deals better in Secrets than me folks bigly beautiful Secrets the best

Deals nobody knows more about Secrets than me but Mars cold Dusty no golf courses he sounds like a boar not just dark Donald this Bas leaks silence lonely less crawls in every crack every Creek every flickering light another piece of the puzzle another layer of dread makes you question if you’re even

Real fake news I’m the realest thing around folks biggest crowds best speeches nobody builds walls and truths like me this Mars stuff sounds like Democrat propaganda but the story Donald unraveling conspiracies piecing together memories facing the darkest corners of human nature it’s not just Martian Monsters it’s the monsters within the

Ghosts of ambition and betrayal ghosts fake news I chase away ghosts every day the radical left the swamp creatures the fake news media mob no Martian Spooks scare me but the atmosphere Donald the isolation the desperation the feeling of being utterly alone on a frozen Rock

It’s like staring into the abyss and the abyss stares back goated tear no doubt agreed it’s it’s not just horror it’s existential thought-provoking makes you question Humanity reality the price of progress not for the faint of heart but for those who want a martian chill that lingers long after the credits roll fine

Fine go to tear if you’re into that deep space existential stuff give me a good rally fireworks chanting crowds now that’s a real thrill each to their own Donald now who’s got the guts for another trip to the dark side of Mars let’s face our existential dreads head

On killer frequency nightmare radio dead voices Twisted memories not your grandpappy amm dead voices fake news I hear plenty every day witch hunts hoaxes investigations real nightmares these Slither Donald in your head question real one wrong dial trapped in static Echo chamber of your own fears trapped

No way built walls deals even my own platform nobody traps Donald J Trump atmosphere Donald crackling electricity haunted TV TVs watched on Airwaves paranoid of your own shadow radio paranoid weak face fake news monsters headon bigly beautifully best Tweets no spooky radio voices scare me story Donald unraveled conspiracies fragmented

Memories fight unseen Force bending reality not jump scares mindbending puzzle of your own fears go to tear not just horror philosophical unsettling question perception truth communication not for faint dial but chills resonate long after static Fades fine fine go to tier if you’re into mind-bending radio stuff give me rally chanting crowds

Flashing lights now that’s a real thrill each to their own Donald who’s got guts for another tune into Terror keep nightmares humming through Airwaves back to A’s folks cult horror eldrich chanting tentacle Tuesdays not your average campaign meeting Cults fake news I built my own movement biggest rallies

Best chance no slimy monsters allowed not that kind of cult Donald these guys worship tentacle Gods summon Nightmares From Beyond The Abyss one misstep and your dinner abis sounds messy give me a rally stage spotlights cheering crowd now that’s terrifying but the atmosphere Donald dripping caves Whispering ruins the constant feeling you’re being

Watched by Hungry Eyes makes campaign debate seem like a picnic watched fake news I’m always watched by the media mob the swamp creatures the lying Democrats no tentacled peeping Tom scare me but the story Donald unraveling ancient rituals fighting Cosmic Horrors questioning your own sanity it’s not just tentacles it’s the existential

Dread the feeling you’re playing a game you can’t win mid tier I’d say fun for a love crafty and romp but don’t expect any deep philosophical insights more tentacles enchanting than character development tentacles sound sticky give me a good rally fireworks chance of lock them up now that’s real horror each to

Their own Donald next time let’s stick to something with less tentacles and more spine tingling Thrills who’s ready for some presidential nightmares without the eldrich goo Unholy game folks final stop your soul the prize reality a twisted play thing buckle up this ain’t no political thriller Twisted reality

Sounds fake I built the realest reality folks big beautiful walls truth rallies nobody knows reality like me not your kind of Twisted Donald this city bends warps reflects your deepest fears every choice a dance with Madness every step closer to the abyss Abyss sounds boring give me a crowd chance of make America

Great again now that’s a real spectacle but the atmosphere Donald screaming Shadows shifting streets the everpresent feeling you’re trapped in someone else’s nightmare makes a filibuster feel like a Beach vacation trapped fake news I break out of traps every day the media mob the fake investigations the swampy lies no

Nightmare city holds me down but the story Donald unraveling forbidden rituals confronting your own Darkness rewriting the very fabric of existence it’s not just monsters it’s a mirror held up to your soul reflecting back the worst and best of you god tier no question it’s not just horror it’s existential

Transformative makes you question who you are what’s real the price of redemption not for the faint of heart but for those who want a nightmare that lingers long after credits roll fine fine got tier if you’re into that existential soul searching stuff give me a good rally fireworks chanting crowds

Now that’s real chills each to their own Donald but for you viewers out there thanks for joining us on this terrifying tour of presidential nightmares see you next time for a whole new brand of spooky Shenanigans don’t forget to like subscribe and tell your friends if you dare