Ron White’s Tiger Woods Story Had Me In Disbelief!

Ron White’s Tiger Woods Story Had Me In Disbelief!

Hey y’all. Welcome back to the party. It is me, your girl Brit Reacts, and today we’re going to react to a kind subscriber suggestion. That is quite difficult to say. Subscriber suggestion. This is Ron White telling us about his Tiger Wood story, I guess. And you know what? I just realized this is on the wrong one. This is on Cupins, and we’ve already reacted to Cupins. We’ve already reacted to Okay, now we’re on the tiger whist. I don’t know how that happened. I must have pressed something by accident. But you know the deal. You get what you get. You don’t pitch fit. Bloopers included. My favorite thing about playing Vegas is I get to play this golf course called Shadow Creek, which is one of the most exclusive golf courses in the world. I worked for him three years. Didn’t even know it existed because they knew if I found out it existed that I’d pester the [ __ ] out of until they put it in my contract, which is exactly what happened. It’s amazing. This golf course is just [ __ ] so tricked out. The first time I walked through the gates, I was like, “Nobody’s stopping me.” It’s where all the pros play when they’re in Vegas. And I was out there this summer and Tiger Woods was out there just [ __ ] around. I may sign my golf club. Look out to me. This is the most famous person I’ve ever met. And I know a lot of famous people, but nobody as famous as Tiger [ __ ] Woods. I love Tiger, man. I defended Tiger when all that stuff first. I love a humble famous person. He’s like, “This is the most famous person I’ve ever met. Forget the person I wake up every morning, look at in the mirror, like he’s so humble and kind.” Um, all right. I don’t know what a tricked out golf course looks like. My We’re a golf family. My husband took up golf during the pandemic and he golfs. I’ve golfed. I’ve gone I’ like have my cute little golf outfits. I’m really there to just drive the cart and drink the White Claws. We’ve talked about this before, but I feel like I know enough about golf. I’ve seen enough golf courses of my own. Like I’ve been on enough of them and I’ve also like watched PGA tours. I don’t I just don’t know like what does it mean that it was tricked out? Like was it just like super nice? Like what does that mean? Um I love Ron White. I love that like he’s got the filthiest mouth and he could really come on stage in sweatpants and a hoodie and it would feel super normal, but instead he wears these like security guard suits. Like he looks like he should work for the Secret Service. Anyway, as famous as Tiger [ __ ] Woods, I love Tiger, man. I defended Tiger when all that stuff first came out. When I heard those initial rumors, I felt sick to my goddamn stomach for the guy because I’ve never been accused of doing anything I didn’t do. Not one goddamn time. I did it every single time. Not once did I go, “No, that was Glenn Campbell.” Hey, a lot of things smell like strippers. Rob, what? And I defended him to my wife. I said, “You don’t know what this guy’s been through. He had his first famous golf shot on television when he was 2 years old. You don’t know what his home life’s like. You can’t judge a guy because he made one mistake. And then it came out 13, 14, 15, 16. I start I think Tiger was like the first for from for my memory like in my lifetime like the first scandalous cancellation situation that happened that I can remember. Like I don’t know. I I was probably a teenager when that happened or or something like that. I don’t I don’t know. It was like early 2000s, right? And like I just remember being like, “Dang, that’s that’s crazy.” But that felt like the first time for me again at my age. Um like understanding like tabloid culture and it just like kept coming and every day you go in the grocery store and it’s like a new lady came out. like he feels like the first I guess he was preme but like the first of the me too movement if you will let me know if you agree with me or if there’s someone else that I just like am missing or like don’t remember because of my age that this was happening with state and he gets number 13 14 15 16 I started going tiger come on buddy and it got to the point where every time he got caught with another woman my wife would go like is what? I don’t even know the [ __ ] guy. You act like I was holding his dick the whole time. Oh, we watched him make that long apology on television. And afterwards, my wife goes, “Well, do you think a guy like Tiger could quit cheating on his wife?” And I said, You bet. Which you know is [ __ ] cuz you know as well as I do. If a guy like Strange, getting him to quit wanting Strange is like getting a dog that likes to kill chickens to quit killing chickens. They don’t even know what you’re talking about. You got to quit killing chickens. All right, let me see if I got this straight. I can still kill chickens. No, you can’t kill chickens anymore. All right, let’s say I’m in a hotel room with the chicken, please. Let’s say the chicken just wants to touch me. Can I kill that chicken? No. All right. We need we need specific like Listen, I agree and we’ve talked about this before with like the Diddy case and things like that. Like these men that are in these powerful wealthy positions, they just become insatiable and there’s like nothing that’ll crave it. And you can call it any type of addiction you want. But the fact of the matter is like you just reach a point in success where like not even the worst things will curb your craving for more. You know what I mean? And by the worst things, I mean like the most scandalous or 800th woman or whatever it is, baby oil, you name it. It won’t it won’t fix it because they’ve just accessed a level of access that is not normal. It’s my take on it. My wife told me all women want the same thing. They want to marry somebody who will never have sex with anybody else no matter what. And I said, “Well, then maybe you should consider marrying somebody that nobody else wants to fuck.” [Applause] If it means that much to you, it’s your fault for marrying you. Don’t marry the most famous golfer in the world. Marry the most famous frisbee golfer in the world. Frisbee golfer. Ain’t no [ __ ] that dude. What is frisbee golf? I’m googing it. I’m googling it right now. I’m googling it. We had a chat about cheating that day, man. My wife I’ve actually seen these and I never knew what it was. We used to live in Central Florida. um by one of the really famous PGA golf courses and there was a park near there that always had these. It’s like this I don’t know how to like it’s like a cage and and the goal is to get the Frisbee in there. Yeah, that’ll that’ll get you unlaid at best. Disc golf is what it’s called here in Western New York. All right. Learned to miss something new today. Thank you, Mr. Ron White, as he likes. Told me, she goes, “Listen, let’s get this straight. Sex is sex, period.” I said, “No, now wait a minute. Oral sex is not the same as intercourse.” She goes, “It’s the exact same thing.” I said, “It’s not the same price.” [Applause] My god. [Applause] I heard that on the radio. It all comes down to opportunity, man. Some guys are put into a position where they have to say no to beautiful women, and that is hard to do. And some guys are never put in that position, and that’s way [ __ ] easier. I see these big 350lb guys all the time going, “I have never cheated on my wife.” I’m like, “I bet that was tough. The thing that’s getting me is he’s not wrong. He’s not wrong. That’s why they say like there’s this saying like I think Future the rapper, if you know, you know. Very toxic. He said, “Would you rather cry in a wraith?” Which is a um it’s a Rolls-Royce Wrath Wraith, but he said Wraith. Um, and his point was like, “Girl, would you rather be crying in a Honda or a Rolls-Royce?” And what he was saying by that was, “Would you rather get cheated on and be with me, a famous rapper, or be with a regular guy who no one knows or cares about.” It’s an awful sentiment. It really is, cuz no one deserves to be cheated on no matter who they’re with. But like, the realness of it is really sad. And there are women who are like, I’d rather I’d rather cry and or rape. And then so they just are fine with that lifestyle. Do do what you will with that. Tiger doesn’t get any credit for all that [ __ ] you turned down. And that’s the number you’re looking for right there. My wife’s best friend, her husband cheated on her. And my wife hates Tiger’s guts. And I’m like, “Well, what about that guy? You don’t hate that guy?” She goes, “He did it one time.” I said, “He had one chance. This guy had sex with 100% of the women he possibly could his entire goddamn life. Tiger was 18 for 82,000. That takes a little for 82,000. Ron feels like Tiger’s lawyer, if you will. This is giving lawyer. Ron. Ron, take it easy. Tiger was 18 for 82,000. That takes a little goddamn discipline right there. If 82,000 women want to have sex with you and you only [ __ ] 18 of them, that’s love. He was in love with that woman. She broke his tiny tiger heart. He lost all those sponsors, which never made sense to me cuz his core fan base is men. I don’t know. America gave a fiddler’s [ __ ] what he did. I guarantee you not one guy in America went, “Really? Tiger got some straight [ __ ] I’m dropping AT&T.” Not one guy gave me fiddler’s [ __ ] Fiddler’s [ __ ] One guy gave me fiddler’s [ __ ] Oh my gosh. I’ll never unsee it. And the urge that I want to like that I have to want to recreate that is ungodly. Moving on. Moving on. Moving on. Now, when they were around their wives, they’d act like they gave a fiddler’s [ __ ] Get all fogghorn leg horn. Why? I never I can’t believe a man would commit such transgressions towards his wife. I say I say how’s his relationship with the Lord? I’d like to know. Fogghorn Legghorn. I have to Google it. Who the freak is Fogghorn Legghorn? Fogghorn popped right up. Oh, was that his name? The rooster from the rooster from uh Looney Tunes. I never knew that was his name. I never knew that was his name. This sounded like a preacher at a at a at a um revival like out in the backwoods of Tennessee. That tracks I guess. Wow. Spare around. Their buddies were like wonder what kind of cologne he wears. [Applause] I want to smell just like that dude, man. You lost so many sponsors. I’m thinking about bringing him over to Ron White, Inc. and not because we need a new face for the company. I’d just love to have somebody around the house to fade the heat when I [ __ ] up. That was a mouthful. Ron White, you are the most selfish prick I have ever met in my life. Tiger, get in here. Watch this. Oh my. You tell her what you did. Oh Lord, Ron White, you are the finest man I have ever known. I shall fall to my bended knee and suckle your penis. Well, thank you, baby. Slow down. Watch out for those ears. Did he call them ears? Did he just refer to his as go and have the day you deserve Ron White and everyone [Music]

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