By: The Birdie
Wednesday, August 27, 2025 | 6:49 PM
Kristina Serafini | TribLive
Kiski Area’s Collin Peterson works to take down Knoch’s Owen Layhew last Friday.
The Birdie walked into the office Monday morning sporting the smuggiest smug smile that ever was smugged.
“How’s it going, Birdie?” a co-worker asked, knowing full well how insufferable the answer would be.
“Just perfect,” the bird crowed. Smugly.
In last week’s column, the Birdie wrote the following: “It’s time for my Week 1 picks, which are the hardest ones of the year.”
He responded with a 10-0 week.
“No big deal,” the big-headed bird squawked. “Just took a minimal amount of information and extrapolated it into a perfect slate of predictions. Could have happened to anyone.
“You know, Nadia Comaneci recorded the first perfect 10 in Olympic gymnastics history as a 14-year-old in the 1976 games in Munich, but that was amateur hour.
“The ’74 Dolphins are famous for the only perfect season in NFL history. While I appreciate how humble and not at all annoying they’ve been about it over the last five decades, did they correctly pick Apollo-Ridge over Leechburg? Nope.
“In a 1967 game, Wilt Chamberlin went 18 for 18 from the floor, the most field-goal attempts without a miss in NBA history. Another star famous for his humility, but did he correctly see Plum beating up Franklin Regional? Nah.
“In Game 5 of the 1956 World Series, Don Larsen of the New York Yankees threw a perfect game against the Los Angeles Dodgers. The Yankees are known for being humble, but did they know Highlands would beat Armstrong? They did not.
“I can’t wait to fire off this week’s picks,” The Birdie concluded. “I really like my chances for a perfect season.”
(Editor’s note: The Birdie made five factual errors above. The editor left them in because, c’mon. It’s hilarious. Can you spot the mistakes? Answers at the bottom of the column.)
South Park (1-0) at Deer Lakes (1-0): A win over the defending WPIAL Class 2A champs would get the Lancers off to a brilliant nonconference start. Deer Lakes, 21-13
Baldwin (0-1) at Fox Chapel (0-1): A great chance for the Foxes to show the progress they’ve made in the offseason. Fox Chapel, 16-12
Burrell (0-1) at Shady Side Academy (1-0): The Bucs ran into an Avonworth buzzsaw last week while the Bulldogs upset Greensburg Central Catholic. It’s only Week 1, but momentum still counts. Shady Side Academy, 27-20
Derry (1-0) at Freeport (1-0): Took a little while for the Yellowjackets to get going last week, but once they did, they looked good. Freeport, 28-7
Highlands (1-0) at Elizabeth Forward (1-0): The new-look Golden Rams offense was effective in the opener, but the Warriors are a different level of defense. Elizabeth Forward, 28-13
Jeannette (0-1) at Apollo-Ridge (1-0): The Vikings matched up well with Leechburg in the opener, but Jayhawks QB Kymon’e Brown offers a different kind of test. Jeannette, 34-27
Kiski Area (1-0) at Norwin (0-1): The Cavaliers had a nice, confidence-building win in the opener, and the Knights suffered a frustrating loss to rival Penn-Trafford. Momentum’s a real thing, but so is anger. Norwin, 21-20
Knoch (0-1) at North Catholic (1-0): The Trojans have one of the WPIAL’s most high-flying offenses. North Catholic, 42-22
Latrobe (0-1) at Plum (1-0): Lessons were learned about both these teams in Week Zero. The Mustangs looked sharp, and the banged-up Wildcats looked like a work in progress. Plum, 26-17
Leechburg (0-1) at Beth-Center (1-0): Those ornery Blue Devils linemen are going to want to push some people around after a loss in the opener. Leechburg, 28-6
Springdale (0-1) at Chartiers-Houston (0-1): This is the chance for the Dynamos to show the progress they’ve made. Chartiers-Houston, 14-13
Valley (0-1) at Riverview (1-0): The Raiders are making a point to focus on one game at a time this season. They’ll be favored in this one. Riverview, 27-10
(Answers: Last week was Week Zero in high school football, not Week 1. The 1976 Olympics were in Montreal. The Dolphins were perfect in 1972. Chamberlain is spelled wrong. In 1956, the Dodgers played in Brooklyn.)
Tags: Apollo-Ridge, Baldwin, Beth-Center, Burrell, Chartiers-Houston, Deer Lakes, Derry Area, Elizabeth Forward, Fox Chapel, Freeport, Highlands, Jeannette, Kiski Area, Latrobe, Leechburg, Norwin, Plum, Riverview, Shady Side Academy, South Park, Springdale, Valley
