“No one’s been better for the game of golf than my father,” one of the US president’s sons told the BBC this week.
Wait – it’ll come to me which one. Tip of the tongue, literally. Not the one who looks like he’s permanently fronting an infomercial selling steam carpet cleaners. Not him. The other one. Eric. That’s it.
Anyway, an interestingly broad claim. You think back across 18-hole golf’s gilded history, going all the way down to 1764 at St Andrews, and you think of all of the people in that time who, by their actions and initiatives, and sometimes just by sheer dint of their personalities, have taken the game on and expanded its possibilities, broadened its appeal, shaped its spirit. And then, having thought of all that, you arrive at Donald Trump. I’m shaking my head here. What? Not Jimmy Tarbuck?
But that’s why we love sport, isn’t it? For the opinions it inspires in us, and the debates we get to have about it?
I’ll say this much in favour of Trump: he’s done a lovely job on Turnberry. I don’t play golf, but I treated myself to a tour of the Trump Turnberry website this week, out of curiosity, when the president and his entourage were up that way, and I thought it looked very high-end, especially if you’re into that whole Highland luxe/complimentary shortbread/whisky marmalade/ monogrammed wallpaper vibe, which so many golfers seem to be.
Incidentally, don’t skip past the premium rooms offering an “ocean view”. Because apparently the Firth of Clyde is an “ocean” now. Must have missed that one in all the fuss over the Gulf of Mexico.
But, yes, if you were trying to stand up this “best ever person for golf” claim, Trump’s oversight on the Turnberry revamp would certainly be something to put on the plus side of the ledger.
At the same time, let me just rest this here: the 43rd annual Jimmy Tarbuck Classic took place this spring at Quinta do Lago on the Algarve, and bookings are currently being taken for 2026, according to a notice I saw on Facebook. That’s 43, going on 44, years of celebrity-sprinkled, golf-based, charity fund raising fun, right there, with after-dinner entertainment from, I imagine, the likes of Brian Conley. Now, that’s properly being good for golf, no?
Not denying, of course, that Trump has given golf some serious hours – 23.3% of his presidency to date, according to the valuable tracker didtrumpgolftoday.com. But I don’t suppose Tarby was ever exactly a slouch in that regard. Still lives beside one of the nice Surrey courses, I believe. Also, he can go out for a round without causing a security sweep of hundreds of acres of exposed gorse-land and neighbouring villages.
Frankly, could there be a worse sport for a high-risk individual? Never mind “none better for golf”. The Secret Service must long for a president to come along who just wants to play five-a-side football on a Wednesday night, or better still, darts over a few sandwiches at home on a Thursday. American tax payers would probably quite like that, too.
And I guess we can’t not mention the cheating. Rick Reilly wrote a whole book about it. A video surfaced this week of an aide seemingly dropping a ball for the president to use. It wasn’t conclusive, but it did go some way towards explaining the magic that multiple LPGA Tour winner Suzann Pettersen, who played with Trump, described to a Norwegian newspaper in 2018: “No matter how far into the woods he hits his ball, it’s always in the middle of the fairway when we get there.”
No such taint hanging over Tarby’s game, that’s for sure. None over the late Sir Bruce Forsyth’s, either, another titan of the fairway. Actually, the more you think about it… Peter Alliss, Sean Connery, Adam Sandler in Happy Gilmore, Naga Munchetty… the “people who have been better for golf than Trump” category starts to get competitive pretty quickly.
Or what about the gopher in Caddyshack? Remember the scene where it dances to that Kenny Loggins track? Classic! That gopher is ahead of Trump on my list.
The debate goes on, though. And long may it.
Photo by Richard Williams/Mirrorpix
