Steve Bracknall: Sunday League Is EVERYTHING | FC Bullard Podcast

Jimmy & Fenners are joined this week Royal Oak Assistant Manager, Steve Bracknall.

Our most requested guest, Steve is nothing short of a modern football phenomenon.

He is both an internet sensation and a grassroots legend and in this episode he details his football philosophy, what he looks for in the perfect XI, debates with Fenners about whether they have cheese in Sheffield and explains how he would manage Jimmy Bullard.

Follow Steve and all the goings on at Royal Oak on Instagram: @stevebracknall

Thanks to the good folk at BrewDog, Jimmy and Fenners have wangled an incredible deal on Lost Lager for you lovely lot. It’s the best deal out there, so it’d be rude not to get involved – head to brewdog.com/fc-bullard

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Music courtesy of BMG Production Music. 

Up The Pirates!

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[Music] [Applause] how you son good are we off we’re in up and running we’re in mate we’ve flicked them on we’re on i’m very excited about this i’m really excited there’s been a clamor aren’t there they’ve been clamoring for him you know like some managers the fans like clamor further ahead they want them they want them gone like yeah well they want they want this they want this guy in he’s fresh isn’t he yeah he’s like making numbers across all the social media platforms he’s he’s making tremors he’s doing things he’s doing bits as the kids as the kids would say but there is a there is a an assistant manager slot available and today we are going to interview um someone for that role um not sure he’ll want to leave his beloved team cuz he’s things can change like football as you know as you know so we’re going to find out what he’s really about like to see what he’s about uh so let’s welcome to FC Bullard uh Royal Oak assistant manager Steve Bratel hi Steve stevie boy i’ve waited a long time to hear that intro me i’ve been a big fan of this for a long while really it’s an absolute honor and a privilege lads thank you very much and I’m filling up already really thanks for coming down mate cuz I know where you from sheffield is it sheffield and I said to our nick me Jimmy Bullard and she knows who you are cuz you you were a character you said weren’t you yeah and then I says she says who’s he do it we I says Fenners from soccer am she went you’re joking cuz listen Jimmy I watch you week in week out mate thanks mate yeah fenners you were a staple part of me and our nikki’s life together really that’s how important that program were so to be asked I’ve took a day’s annual leave from sparking so to be asked down here she’s got me Oyster card and all that sorted out it’s an absolute privilege so thank you very much i love it so you crack me up i’m so sorry so are you really Sparky by trade is that what you do or is it full-time your management now what’s the script no full-time Sparky paul Samson man first team manager he owns an electrical firm yeah ps Electrics in Sheffield so I work for him and then uh but obviously I I had three weeks annual relief saved up me then November a clip went viral lot’s gone I says to our nick nick I’m have to have some media days she went media days I says media days press duties for royal oak cuz Paul Samson don’t want to front it I can’t put any lads up because they’re not media trained and we’ve got to think about reputation of club so I’m fronting it all and it’s not an ego trip all like that it’s about fronting brand fronting it club up so this is just part and parcel so in your lot your two asked I went I went straight down straight on train line get it booked yeah cuz literally you look we’ve been watching him for a long time and I thought just hit you i slipped into your DMs didn’t I left you were on floor when you did i bless you left you my number jim it’s Steve straight on me so thank you i didn’t want to look too eager but I think it were about 13 seconds after weren’t it Jim it was sharp of Steve i was like you car i had to pull off i didn’t lay by i says “Oh I thought someone winding him up but then I looked i thought he’s got blue tick cuz I’ve learned all about that now yeah yeah yeah blue tick’s bigger blue tick shows that they’re legit real deal real deal olivia my daughter she runs all me socials she says “Daddy you got to get a blue tick.” I went “Livia get me a blue tick.” She got me one so now that I’m legit so I knew it were coming through proper channels you can get a blue tick now though can’t you without without earning them like can you oh anyone can have them i didn’t know that absolute blue tick game’s gone so um we’re going to interview you via the via the pre the the premise of an interview uh to to see if you know it might be something you you’d be interested in and obviously we we need to understand a little bit about your um footballing philosophies and and the way you see things to make sure you know there’s a synergy there there’s a and there’s a good fit so do you want to just give us a little bit of a background into how how you became the assistant at the uh the Oak i mean if I had known it were going to be this formal I’d have done a PowerPoint presentation but let’s be frank I’ll freestyle it um where did I my my my beginnings in game i want a player i always love playing me i used to love it sundays Saturdays Mondays there weren’t a day I went by that I didn’t want to play a game of football cut a long story short I had a very bad injury i I played semi-pro for Matt Locktown i went right knee went left did ACL full tear anterior crucial ligament heartbreaking i was sparking i were all over at that time i were going up to Abodine refitting shops down to Cuden where you name it I would nick i had to come home for rehab they had me in an Hydra pool in Rotherham doing like net ball exercises with these old women who’ve got hip replacements it were humbling very humbling honestly and I knew career would over then that were done and dusted and probably that next 12 months what were lowest in me life if I’m oh oh not being a it weren’t so much game it were camarader before and after in pra you’ll know all about it miss it yeah miss it I missed it and and I were in a low way and I remember what happened is one Sunday afternoon I’m in tap room with Paul Samson Tommy and Winnie were here uh And it all come rushing out of me there were tears in eyes i missed game i need to get back in touch they all saying “Steve do your badges.” I say “No chance i’m not having someone load it over me saying “Yes you’ve passed.” Yeah do you not believe in the badges anymore i don’t believe in it i don’t believe in it i think I believe in experience yeah and since this period I’ve done 25 years on Touchline i’ve done 25 years in all weathers piss wet rain but not as a manager as an assistant manager right okay but I don’t we don’t get hung up on I don’t get hung up on titles people do that people do i don’t get hung up on Listen amount of times Paul’s gone to a manga golfing left me to all four for three weeks i’ve done that role a lot of pressure on it but uh and that’s where it were formed and ever since then yes I’m a one club man royal Oak so if I were to get involved with your guys and FC Bullard I’d need a grace period a period to adapt let’s talk about that but listen cut me open and I bleed grassroots football so that’s what you’re about that’s what I’m about so I’m as director of football i’m the director of football Steven already I’ve got a distrust with title of that cuz we’ve seen them come and go i think Radcliffe’s had three since the game well okay uh so I’d like to talk a little bit about um your kind of footballing philosophy style of play if you were to come in you know what what sort of players maybe would you be looking to to to to recruit along alongside myself um and the manager of course but you know what what would be you know you you’ll be taking training you know you’ll be out in the your training field you’ll be doing the sessions what’s the you know let talk us through your your philosophy it’s very topical Fennas very topical cuz I sat down Sunday afternoon I didn’t go to Oaking out of Man City an absolute disgrace from minute it kicked off to when they were walking off pitch it were a disgrace they passed me to death and I blame Pep I blame Pep that that firmly sits at Pep Guardiola’s feet because they’ve passed it were same with Southgate in summer and previous summers let’s play that everyone’s obsessed with stats and data You’ve heard me say it online xg this XG that and I said and I remember saying to Tommy my striker what’s XG mean he went expect a goal Steve and I said I expect him every [ __ ] week Tommy that’s what I [ __ ] signed you for mate to [ __ ] score like he went “No it don’t work like that.” I says “Right so they they Anyway I get all that so data and stats and numbers if you want someone on a laptop that’s not me mate all right i’m not going to get me protractor out to try and win Rose and Crown on a Sunday no what do I look for in a player yeah let Let me give you an example a striker what do you look for tommy your striker i want a big lad you want a big lad yeah we’ve coached number nine why is Ireland worthund whatever million now cuz he’s only one left kane kane same we’ve coached it out of him oh he’s technical this technical that whatever happened I don’t know if you’re gonna catch Stand up Jimmy i don’t know if you’ll catch this on camera tony you’re a defender arm striker that’s my job that’s my job to protect that get the ass into the elbows that’s my job yes and that’s all I’m asking of me strikers sorry if you’ve lost sound here but I had to replicate that yeah yeah so I want a big man up top yep i need an arrogant number 10 i want a [ __ ] house i want someone who’s going to cause me problems in changing rooms cuz all best number 10’s Oh Cantina what if Fergie went he went and got Cantina collar up attitude he will all right i don’t want him volleying fans in head i get that there’s a level there’s a line but I want someone who’s going to keep me on Moses you know where is he his rocks up two minute before because them players they create the magic so I’ I’d say to 10 feed off feed off number nine scraps feed off scraps if it bounces off and feed off scraps they’re laughing that making me laugh Jimmy we can laugh but it’s a serious matter isn’t it and wingers and fullbacks up and down and bombing on bombing on don’t stop i’m telling you that that man’s a nervous laugh Jimmy i don’t know what you’re cracking up at mine’s a real lost i’m telling you mate we’ve lost it premiership’s [ __ ] lost it and then in middle at park all right I’m jumping through positions we’ll run out of questions i want an engine i want an engine don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop piston a piston a piston a piston and it just carries on yeah of course it carries on a cante someone like that yeah and have you got a captain at the Oak who’s your captain well we did have a captain think we might win and he would me number 10 right however and I’m sorry for viewers here I caught him in toilets with me substitute right in Royal Oak they said they weren’t doing untoward I couldn’t prove it we had an internal investigation I stripped him at captaincy so discipline you don’t take no [ __ ] no for discipline and how we represent I tell lads me on a Sunday listen well I tell him in training not only do you represent Royal Oak FC on the pitch you represent it off it so if that woman in Asda needs door opening go and [ __ ] open it cuz she’ll say that number 10 at Royal Oak is respectful he’s got old school cuz Ferguson used to do that what did Ferg used we used to go and see the mother first what qualifications has he got is he a nice lad is he polite does it say please and thank you that’s what I want so when we were acting goat in Royal Oak toilets and bringing Terry and June landlord and landlord in to distribute I cut it out straight away and I get it tom striker he’s been with us 18 years or eight having a gold drought but I wanted to that would me bolting his confidence because striking is a confidence gain it’s good to know that though that the the person’s important first and foremost it’s absolutely vital man management means world to me and I that’s be a big thing for me with FC Bull we were chatting about um Greg Bellamy earlier weren’t we um he he was on uh on the Monday Night Football talking about some of his non-negotiables and I’m sure you’ve got some of those so he was talking about things like not swapping shirts not letting the badge touch the floor agreed uh being on time you know not not suffering any any tardiness fines um you know is he is he sort of singing from your your image very much about it’s about discipline it’s about uh there’s boundaries there’s got to be boundaries in place winner bringing a different girl every week in week out who was that win it number 10 who’s this this week oh it’s Jessica who is it next week rachel i confusing names offending last it were all getting messy i says win it could it cuz we have a you know what’s he like then is he a bit of a character this win well up to no good all the week I Why is it always the tens do this but this is what I mean you got to take rough move with him look at Diego all right i’m not equating Winnie to Diego Maradona but in a way there’s a similarity there i’m not saying he does untoward that way but you know and it’s about how I manage that but when when when he when he started acting up in Royal Oak he crossed the line you know and Yeah my substitute for example he still to this day owes 18 well it were £1150 he’s not paid for last two weeks he owes £1850 and I’ve told him club didn’t run on fresh air steve I’ll get it yeah so that’s why last week I introduced a sum up machine a what a sum up machine contactless payments on touchline oh the face went [ __ ] the jaws dropped i says that’s it you think I would because they think I’m a lud eye i won’t introduce these methods but since going viral I’ve had to embrace new technology and that’s why now it’s going to be beep beep beep straight and if they take 2% some up whatever and if that means I have to fill out a tax reform reform form whatever it is so be it it’s about cleaning job up behind scenes i hope this is spelling out a clear picture to you all it’s starting to build a picture up of my philosophy what he’s showing to me is that you you know you are traditional although but forward thinking which I think is is is really important for any in any walk of life now there’s only one there’s only one Steve Bratnull but when I when we if we were to look back and and think about managers who maybe inspired you who who would be who would be on that list well before I get on to that I think I get lumped into Alladise and Dish right style of thinking i think they’re misrepresented i know for a fact D All were big on diet and all that and I’ve tried to be big on diet i’ve I’ve said to them pasta and mazbar no problem what I can’t have is Chinese munchy boxes red donor meat before game and that cuz you can tell when they’ve had it cuz they stinker garlic they stinker ale and they’re in bushes have you got any bog roll Steven it’s an absolute fiasco before game and I’ve said lads going to cut it out get cabbs in at chocolate sugar rush i remember I eat your jaffer cakes and not wrong with a jaffer cake i bring a pack now i said Bob the bucket we get a multiack stock up for season um your question with who hero I’m d I’m I’m I’m diverting question but um and there is only one Steve Bratnull but what’s really annoying me online at the minute is they all keep calling me that Steve Backshaw nature no honestly I’ve started on that cameo app you know when you can order a video off me yeah yeah and they’re coming through thinking it’s Steve I Steve can you do me a message from my daughter she’s studying at York University she’s very worried about the extinction of the certain dolphins I’m saying excuse me I think you’ve got the wrong person i’m Steve Bratton not Steve Backshaw and I won’t charge him i’ll send it back anyway to answer your question Kluff and Ferguson mate yeah yeah cluff and Fergie i don’t I grew up in a time where Ferguson and people forget about Fergie had an edge he softened later in life but he were a [ __ ] bastard in 90s and you didn’t mess with him you didn’t and what did he do when I kicked that kid go on backed him backed him they because I’m a W Sheffield Wednesday right thing to do that 100% I’m a Sheffield Wednesday fan me and Dano when he pushed that ref and he did that chicken dance Wednesday hung him out to dry of course Mr the red nap got him on cheap rest’s history but Wednesday didn’t back the man who star player at the time you’ve got to back your star players so when winner is in box yeah I’ll discipline him but then I’ll reintroduce him back into squad because I know on 69th minute nil nil away piss wet rain he’s going to create your magic but Cloff and Fergie to answer your question i love it just go back on them cameo videos how much do you charge being a manager for them videos this is a very contentious issue cuz I don’t like taking money off fans but 30 quid that’s very links in me bio I do a good job i put my heart and soul into it like but that’s just the way I listen i’d love a shake man to come over and spend money on Royal Oak FC but let’s be real they don’t see much potential in Sheffield Sunday Imperial League so I’ve got to think of ways of getting and all every penny made from that is reinvested back into Royal Oak FC is that the is that the shirt there is that the current shirt yeah let’s have a little butchers i don’t know where your cameras are oh Dave’s carpets do do you ride well there’s a story in that and all go on well three year ago absolute yeah have a feeling it beautiful shirt like we don’t sell crap it’s not carpet um well you said that though but everybody who comes in Royal Oak uh because it’s sponsored by Carpet Daves he said “Good to Royal Oak mention my name and you’ll get 20% off underlay and grippers and he’ll fit your carpet and he’ll do your quote for now if you’re a Royal Oak fan.” So so 20% off under grippers and then free quote for for you know well what happened is we were absolutely days away from extinction from going under rents went up on pitch this is postcoid during COVID rents were going up on pitch blahy blahy blahy blahy blah and there were a local car salesman called Gary Wayne right sniffing and and oh he spoke at eight game i’ll do you this i’ll get a I’ll buy you the mini bus i’ll get you new tracksuits blah blah blah blah and hands up I fell up line and sinker for it i meeting him for Curies i were meeting him in Royal Oak anyway long story short he delayed we’ve seen him football it’s full of sharks meetings went on and on and on and then he starts talking about well maybe we should change badge maybe we should change color kit i was about and and then [ __ ] red flags came i thought hold on a minute what we doing here cuz we saw it we saw it with Vincent Tan at Cardiff remember when they played in red and I says hold on a minute anyway we were in he were catch 22 do we sell a soul or do we go out of business did quiz I I was quizzing Royal Oak on a Thursday night i’m doing quiz one night he comes in carpet dave pulls me outside he puts 200 quid in me top pocket he went that’s for you i says I don’t owe me money Dave he went that’s for club well I could have [ __ ] ruined the then like saved us really he says “Listen I’ll give you cash but I want sponsorship.” So there we go carpet Dave’s carpet’s done right so BL honestly there should be a statue of bloke in car park if it were up to me he’s got gout at the minute and he’s on ability scooter so there’s a cash flow problem again so we’re back to square one so that’s why I launched cameo videos yeah c can I sorry again look going back to the fact that you know you are you are you are your own man and but you know we’re we’re we’re aiming for big things for FC Bullard and you know appearance is is important and we just wanted to kind of like get your thoughts on if you know you were to you know be on the touch line for us would you think about like maybe suiting up or or would you booting and booted or would Is this is that a is that a non-negotiable i’ve got a very clear answer for you in a word no i’ve got me outfit i know what I feel comfortable in the Sunday league parks are my stage and I’ll dress accordingly however mark my words and this is a promise to you do you mean a promise to you Fenners if we got to a cup final it’d be best suit and I’d even go waste his coat i’d even have bad on suit i’ve got respect for cup finals and I’ve got respect unlike some mentioning no names because to turn up to FA Cup final like it’s a [ __ ] casual meal down [ __ ] gastro pub and it [ __ ] winds me up get your suit on lead your boy’s eyes proudest day of your life I would be suiting up for cup final for FC Boulevard i love it before we go any further and I can’t believe I haven’t asked this you don’t play Sundays do you no that’s all right then we can carry on we don’t play at all at the minute we’re still trying to build the club yeah but we I won’t be able to do Sundays no that’s or Tuesday nights oh quiz no training for Royal Low but I can move that we can work on that i just needed to make sure Sundays were free like that’s my day and transport links are pretty good aren’t they so you can get anywhere nowadays i tell you what I would like to do fc Bullard the Oak game together see what he’s really like on the sideline do you get what I mean get together create a little an event yeah get the fans you’re coming up to us though cuz I Let’s be frank I’ve got trained down today from Doncaster i’ve driven from Sheffield to Doncaster i’ve gone on all trains you’ll know that one cuz you played for them um so I think you should come up to play us and I’ll be frank with you you’ll get a rate hostile reception n then I reckon three weeks ago we played against Pittsmore we took her eight firm 16 turned up 16 turned up mini bus it were absolutely rocking okay and I reckon if they know your tour in town might feel three right okay but Mark’s travel who does airport runs he’ll provide all that you don’t have to worry about that we’ll even if you want to meet your Royal Oak we’ll go we’ll go as a sign of solidarity we’ll go together and what’s it point in the in the oak how much is it [ __ ] hell i s Metsi and that’s not cheap think it’s you’re not getting no change out in the fiverr oh really even up the road yeah yeah yeah right okay i think that’s a good idea how How many do you think we’d bring 250 oh yeah i think we bring 250 200 i think we bring 200 you might be faced with a steward in Bill i’ll be frank cuz last thing I want it’s Chef Philam facing why are you having unorganized we’ve got to think about crowd we have a couple of hundred we’ll be all right i’m pretty sure all right well I’ll talk to powers that be and make sure we’re safe if we could play at Stockbridgeidge where Jamie Vardy made his name they even got a stand named after him cuz he were a good friend of mine jamie was he very good friend of mine okay and I were one who told him but they were pissing at a wall [ __ ] get your head on game and when he went to Halifax and that’s when it all changed for him right okay are the rooms at the oak no there is upstairs but that’s for cleaner and you don’t want to end up topping and tailing with me now but I can get your hotel and that hotel and what they’ll do is they’ll put your eight breakfast on now then he puts an eight spread on they’ll be really full English all that job lot like unlimited tea and coffee he’s a great nice bic landlord right i think that’s a good gig that Yeah we go up there we get a little event could be one of our first games have you seen Arit have you seen Have you seen our No but let’s have a look yeah look at this so cuz you’ve got your That’s smart that that’s smart that that’s giving me like 1993 Channel 4 Juventus vibes that Yeah I like it like you got together as one on the back we got Oh I love it that’s his catchphrase going to do it you’re all right there you go fly close to the sun i love it it’s beautiful k be easy to slag it off but I can’t that looks absolutely It’s got bulldogs in it you see it i’m getting Roberto Bajio vibes from it so the the the Do you want you tell him Jim the story of the pirates no you go on you all right so Jimmy had an idea we’re the pirates right so you see it’s a bulldog but it’s got pirates patch over the eye yeah yeah yeah yeah because the idea is we’re going to come and we’re going to we’re going to steal the points we’re like the kind of we’re going to take what theirs we’re going to take what is what is your we’re going to come we’re like the thieves of football we’re going to plunder it’s already started this i can see [ __ ] Eddie one in this so when we come up to your to your uh neck of the woods that’s what that’s that’s going to be you know what we’re going to be we can give you that as a gift can’t we we That’s a gift to you that Well that’s a gift to you i like it i like how it is cuz I want you to understand we’re not trying to pull you away from the oak no impossible to be frank i ain’t come down for that that’s a non-negotiable yeah mate yeah that’s yours lovely shirt i mean look at that they look well together don’t they both gone for the strike inter Milan versus Juventus yeah there you go grassroots style love that what’s your pitch like is it is it is it all right if because I’m thinking it’s like this is a I’m thinking it’s like a preseason are you Well Sheffield’s built on seven hills like Rome and that’s where similarities end but we’ll have a toss up whoever shoots uphill first shoot downhill first usually I like to go downhill first get in lead and then [ __ ] low block they call it low block nights two banks of four in it yeah you know defend it’s called in it they just use different words now oh transitioning this is the [ __ ] Well they all I’ve heard it all transitioning it means moving it it means moving it does what’s your keeper like you got a big solid number safe as steady he’s one that actually turns up he’s reliable i’m not messing about i don’t want a Larry goalkeeper all this a he wants nice steady as a rock does he play out from the back is it or is he No no it [ __ ] does it [ __ ] on them pitches with bobbles and divots it [ __ ] does you got nets of course we’ve got nets [ __ ] go it’s not 1955 fenners we’ve you know we’ve got nets and net bob the bucket will turn up early does it very early we’re trying to get We’re trying to raise enough money through cameos to build a porter cabin cuz at the minute we’re getting changed on Bandand and when the walking kids and dogs and that and there’s eight you know 14 naked BS i don’t want that i don’t want that association i want some nice clean porter cabins or eight water might turn cold for you or lot if we have showers drink it but that’s how it goes but portal cabins then Bob the bucket will come up first thing we do he scour’s pitch for dog [ __ ] get that off any glass any white dog [ __ ] don’t you don’t see a lot of white you know when I when I first started in this game it would it would it would outrage white dog [ __ ] cuz people pick it up cuz people now go around with poo bags when a dog does a poo I pick it I don’t think in the old days it’s because of the penicillian taken out of dog food to be fair penicillian taken out of dog food there’s something taken out the diet yeah it’s different yeah I walk our bone head everywhere up and down everywhere dogs out what What is it uh Labrador time to think then he’s a Labrador bonehead but uh no he’ll scour he’ll scour a pitch for dog [ __ ] and glass we don’t want none of that no no no you know I’m I’m saying it’s going to be hostile we’re not going to [ __ ] leave weapons out for the old you could blind with white dog [ __ ] we’re going to I’ve got respect on that front and then we’ll put next up corner flags brilliant and then it’s down to drills like Yeah yeah yeah do you do you um do you do all the training do you do all the warm up i like to be I’m very hands on paul Paul not so Paul likes to watch and observe i’m hands on running lot i mean I [ __ ] up last preseason to be frank with a old Tommy came back severely overweighted just an all-inclusive in Ludin in Turkey he come back i got Wayne I brought Wayne scales down they went Steve that’s a bit overkill i said I don’t give a [ __ ] i thought you didn’t give a [ __ ] about data i went well this where it comes to stones and pounds I do so he stood on it nearly block and I says Tommy anyway I got him wrapped up in bin liner cuz I’d read somewhere I think it would in 10 venables autobiography that Gaza for one world might have been 96 were running in Texan desert in a black bin liner so I thought that’ll do me cuz he had a good tournament so I wraps him up in black bean line of Tommy i nearly killed kid i [ __ ] dehydrated i had to end up in a with him he went “Steve you [ __ ] you’re cruel you’re cruel you were a bully.” I said “Tommy I didn’t think you’d [ __ ] lose that much.” [ __ ] apparently it was something to do with salts or something but Nikki said you should have him some of them electrolytes i went “Nick I’m a spark and I’ve never even heard of him.” So I don’t know i nearly killed the kid but you learn you learn every season and and science changes yeah yeah yeah I played against um Emil Hughes once shut up really good player in um in Spain do you remember John Gidman remember John Gidman so John Gidman used to play for Man United and I think he played for Villa but he lived out on in the Costa del Sol thing and he he put this game on and he got so it was like the badges the soccer badges and he got um Jimmy Case was playing what you played against all them phil Neil but Emily News had a bin bag on he was he was Well he played well he obviously Yeah but can hear him coming as well you can hear him coming yeah russell no need for man on is there [ __ ] Aldi bags [ __ ] coming up yeah i I wanted to ask you know after the game you go back to the Oak is it important they all go back to the Oak on two fronts really one because I promised Terry and June when I started club we’d put some money behind bar on wet side so I said to him look it’ll be a [ __ ] weather spoons if you’re not careful and that soon gets him puts him into action and then two it’s good for team bonding win i remember losing to Naged in Blade Super Draw quarterfinal it’s me darkest day of my career and uh only thing I wanted to do was go home and put [ __ ] covers over me head shut curtains and forget about it i were heartbroken cuz they had our biggest rivals m I’m still heartbroken now thinking about this whole 121st minute [ __ ] near post header with that and uh last thing I wanted to do and Nikki says no our Nikki she’s a good woman Nicki I absolutely adore her she’s like Fergie had Barbara I’ve got our Nikki and she says no Steve you got to look you go and front you up them lads need you and I’ll never forget that afternoon we stood side by side at bar together as on and we had a good drink kara and and and it you know it one of best it one of the best things I ever did cuz karaoke come out astrays come out we shut curtains we had a proper lock in and lads we all turn each other and says we carry on sweet we carry on you’ve got to be you’ve got to you’ve got to be in trenches win and lose together right i like that so after the game can we go back to the oak and More than we’ll put a race spread on you can either have hot buffets get roasties and all that at the bar you can either have hot buffet cockles cockals [ __ ] winkles no no no we’re not cocknney no not no nah but would you do that for us if we come down if you want seafood we’ll do a seafood platter crab steaks welks muscles prrawns bit of pie mash what do you eat up there pie mash what’s your pork pie pork pie yeah do you do bits of cheese like cubes of cheese and stuff like that it’s what you get up in like Middlesbrough we eat cheese up north yeah no in like T-side League you go when I played up there cheese and pineapple on a stick no you would know you’d have like cheese cubes like a little snack they just put them inside a bar i’m laughing i’m joking well we eat cheese yeah if you can have it in a cube if you want to get a cube is it a done thing like you know well cheese is a done thing yeah it’s quite a state it’s part of staple part of diet f i meant you know within football terms so I’ve I’ve got I’ve got a little bit of role play what are you in are you into that makes me nervous i’ll be frank with it okay I’m kinky as they come okay all right we’re not We’re not on the man stand now uh so what what annoys you about a player what what would first half performance right good question what would what would annoy you what would really get your goat to make you come in at Halime and want to like cuz we’ve seen you go off strip yeah excuses is first one i don’t want excuses i’ve heard every after 25 years in Sunny League i’ve heard everything so I don’t want excuses so don’t give me them can you give me some examples examples of excuses uh I’ve had steel toe cap boots on at work Steve i’ve got a bruised big toe oh have you ray brilliant you know that and that after you fall [ __ ] down at first 15 minute and he’s blaming steel cap toes i said “I wish you [ __ ] played in them.” [ __ ] fuming uh excuses turning up late winds me up timekeeping that mean what that means what that actually says to me is my time’s more important than yours Steve that’s what that says to me and and it’s same culprits week in week out why do you look at me sorry Steve why’ you look at me when you do that i was just looking nodding for approval i mean your time yeah i know look do you want to do this it stays time one more question thank god excuses excuses so so right there excuses so so I’m just getting to me roleplay so what so what I’m going to do I’m going to I’m going to just and if you go with this if you want if you’re not feeling it then don’t minded so Jim Jim’s playing Jim’s playing jim’s rocked up on Sunday yeah he’s rocked up on Sunday he’s he’s a he’s a good player he’s a he’s a he’s a solid he’s a solid seven out of 10 every week right but he’s but his head’s not in it at the minute for whatever reason he’s turned up late he’s late the the game alarm bells are going off the game’s actually just about to start and he’s rocked up he’s he ain’t got his he ain’t got his shin pads um and then he’s got done he’s got done on a on a set piece he’s not he’s not picked up he’s not tracking back and you’re two-0 down and it’s and and he’s not really helping the cause and now you’re going to walk into the dressing room Steve and uh listen up i’m speaking to all of you but in particular I’m speaking to you Jimmy all right what I’m wondering is when I put in WhatsApp group postcode on a Thursday 10:00 S12 4HP whatever you want to call it why you can’t use a [ __ ] satnav cuz continually week in week out you’re turning up with your shoulders on floor with excuse after excuse and then what did I said to you keep it tight keep it tight first 15 and what do you do you [ __ ] let them w through you and we’re two n down seven days we’ve got in a week seven days i spend six of them worried about [ __ ] you and I’m starting to wonder whether it’s worth anything at all maybe I should pack it all in go to IKEA could have done Elm Mill let’s go and buy some [ __ ] lead diffusers with our nick because I’m telling you now it’d be less stressful than managing you you [ __ ] [ __ ] house so if you won’t mind I’d like you to go out in that second half and [ __ ] apply yourself for eight and then we’ll go to Royal Oak i’ll get you some cubes of cheese and then we’ll [ __ ] talk the end get out of here and get a [ __ ] result i [ __ ] love that i love it give him a job now long as we get the cut of cheese [ __ ] hell Steve good would you play for me Jimmy i’d love to honestly I’d love this is what we miss it’s brilliant i’ve watched them Amazon documentaries sunderland till I dies and I’m think it’s all [ __ ] staged and Arteta draw it like he’s playing Pictionary in Dressing Room does that wind you up [ __ ] wind me up says to Nikki says “I can’t watch this but you you commentate on it.” I says “Nikki they’re winding me up.” She went “I’m going upstairs to watch Traitors.” I says “All right that’s your choice.” She got knock with me and all cuz I’m [ __ ] what he winds me up he’s heading to Cheese wait till you see cheese platter he’s getting Royal Oak Ted i want [ __ ] that garlic French one they have i want Red Leester i want Stilton he don’t think we have cheese in Sheffield no I’m I’m not saying that Steve i’m saying I played in the T-side League right and you go to these social clubs afterwards and you’d be having a drink and then you look around and there was like there was like I know what you mean loads of cubes of cheese to be fair your defense then is you’ve asked for the cubes of cheese he wants a [ __ ] seafood platter yeah there’s a big difference no I asked if you done them well do you want your [ __ ] lobster mate yeah you mean ch cheese with silver skin onions didn’t you that’s what I thought oh yeah right 1980s buffet it’s not on a No it’s not it’s not it’s not it’s not on a like a cocktail stick no just cut into it so imagine right imagine like you know like like cheddar cheese or red red leester red leester like in in a and imagine a cola cube you know what cola cube is so it’s a it’s a cola cube size of of cheese i’ve come down here on a train to a [ __ ] 20-minute conversation about Lester but they’re just on the bar they’re not even on a plate there was just like someone’s put me in the r and like yeah where where do you sit with that they put food up early at the bar on toilet once you [ __ ] at all the toilet puts his hand around his cods come backs and has a bit I mean yeah he does it all the time terry puts deep fried spam on bar deep fried spam he’s nicer than it sounds and I’m saying to him Terry Mot makes a scrubby bastard i’ve watched him in bogs and you let him [ __ ] put his hands all over that it’s all right we’ve done it years i says that’s why everyone’s got shits on a Monday morning Terry i’m [ __ ] telling you if you’re if you went if you turned if someone from a lab went in they’d find piss all over it but that’s what happens cuz I’ve had it before there’s Let’s be on to this pressure can I work under pressure we’re in fifth tier at Sheffield Sunday Imperial League my dreams to get to Medall Premier League or eight were struggling you imagine what it’s like walking into tap room at Royal Oak FC on a Sunday afternoon when you’ve lost 5-0 and you’ve got Mot Mick or Fire Stick Dean mouthing off and I can hear whispers and clean I remember cleaner coming up to me say Steve I hope you win next week i said why she when they’ve done a dirty protest in toilet mot pissed all of it fancied out leaving Judy cleaning to clean all that up and and I walked in there they were [ __ ] piss everywhere and in cubically had said bratal out in marker pen and I know who done it with fire stick dean why fire stickick Dean what what because he’s got it in for me yeah but why is he called fireick because I bought fire stick off I bought a fire stick off him I’m not saying I put a one to order on it just a fire stick illegal And I rang him up i went “Dean that buffers.” I said “That’s [ __ ] buffering that’s B our Niki is trying to watch Orange is New Black and that’s [ __ ] buffering.” Well it’s no to do with me i says “Well you were quick to take 60 quid off me Dean not that I don’t know why Dean would take 60 quid off him but a transaction took place and now he’s got it in for me always slagging me off he stopped coming to watch games he’s he’s spreading nasty things in tap room this is why I have to contend we protest groups that’s what it is so when I see them at Old Trafford I think [ __ ] hell they glazes can separate the sense they can sit in Chicago where they live i can’t I got to go and booze with these when I’m I’m calling quiz out on a Thursday night i’m getting echoled it’s heartbreaking that is different sort of you can deal with that though can’t you Well yeah and then you know since we’ve gone viral online that’s brought an wave of problems and how have you dealt with that cuz you have gone massive online seriously now you’ve gone massive has it has it been has it changed your life worldwind oh no how I fall in Asda [ __ ] mobbed h Nikki says Steve I can’t come shopping with you really is it like that honestly it’s like that up north but not down here no got it on train really i’m in Dublin at weekend we are Nicki all right it’s spreading like but it’s about keeping grounded i can’t let Edgun no and but I know we’re there to be shot at yeah I’ve done podcast before we’re getting you’ll get what you been on what pod you’ve been on come under the kosh yeah know them two boys yeah uh this other kid still I’ve only done two i don’t I don’t flaunt me well three now this is actually I don’t I don’t want to flaunt me but Oh got some great hammer in comments [ __ ] hell the off sunk law getting a [ __ ] Sunday league assistant manager and I thought well this is what all let’s talk about top six allers live shall we cuz I put that talk sport on and [ __ ] hell it’s like eighth place don’t exist have you been on talk sport I went on four years ago when I got banned I got a disciplinary I ended up getting banned for for six games because I had a fate with Brian Marshall from Nagzed and talk sport picked up on it then right okay and I had to go on and explain me then with that Mark Webster and Johnny Owen and Uh but I don’t want to call me said oh but I said to lads when it went viral proper viral I went where there to be shot at now cuz they’re coming to Royal Oak [ __ ] up in the game like Man United in ‘ 90s like when they come up when FC Bard come up target on your back there’s a target on his back and listen I’m thick skinned Nikki she goes bing when she reads comments if they seen what they’re saying about you but I can’t let it if if they lets that creep in then that Yeah okay you’re not an into nothing like I want to go out and meet all these characters oh you’ll be more They’ll make you a welcome Jimmy really ray welcomed they loved the football and a man like yourself you were played for Fulham didn’t you yeah I played for Fulham can I ask a question go on did you ever meet a Fulham fan i’ve never met a Fulham fan in my life have you not i’ve got a theory that they’re like Coldplay fans coldplay fans and Fulham fans you know they exist but I’ve never [ __ ] met one same with Torist you know they’re out there but you’ve never [ __ ] met I’ll get that with commentary fans i’ve never met a commentary fan i know a cough fan oh John Dawkins i was going to say same we know how do you know John Dawkins so there is one Coventry fan we know the same one looks after Tom Grenon oh does he big Royal Oak fan is he big do I know i must have met him yeah he’s big Royal Oak fan is he oh early days he went on to early days how long have you been going then 1997 says it on badge not that long really established 1997 so 20 years this is it and they all said to when all the they’re all commenting on Instagrams and Tik Toks I think do you think I’m a flashing pan if I listen if it all ends tomorrow with this online stuff we ain’t change me i’ll just be I’ll still be on touchline doing what I do i bleed it i bleed it like have you ever been has it ever been close for your job finishing like someone else coming taking over your gig or some or you top of the tree like is there anyone above you been under pressure like I said when fire stick and fire stick demo team were doing dirty processes and I thought is this time to step down maybe this is time but if I thought the club could progress we are me I’d step away I’m not club’s bigger than anyone the club’s bigger than anyone it’s bigger than Bratnull it’s bigger than Samson bigger than Bob the bucket it’s bigger than carpet Dave if if someone came in with a fiveyear plan and I were an obstacle to that I’d move out of way because that’s What honorable man I am okay leave leave Sunday league football before Sunday League football leaves you well they laughed at I got laughed out at Boozer when I said I were going to film games [ __ ] hell who do you think you are i were filming for 15 years before it went viral really and then one video and what video yeah why oh I I’d turned up and right back looked like he [ __ ] he got sauces in eyes yeah he’s like this left back stunk like [ __ ] caring factory and I went bar at him and I and I had Olivia had turned up she pulled phone out i didn’t even know it being filmed and bang since mad isn’t it mad cuz I’ve always wanted to make a documentary i’ve always want when I watched them net I thought this is sanitized crap this what we need in this country is to show where to show roots where the pyramid is like that well you know shape of the pyramid it’s like that now I don’t know how Egyptians built it but I’m guessing they [ __ ] had quite solid foundations now what we’ve done is there’s a lot of weight on top of it now and we forgot about that bit bur I said to lads me when they weren’t paying subs I said it’s happened to Bolan it happened to Bur happened to Rangers I says if you’re not [ __ ] careful be Royal Oak I says I’m telling you now we’re in a it’s in a rate not grassroots football but after watching that Manchester derby [ __ ] might be best thing that’s ever [ __ ] happened to us they might want to invest in it because let’s be frank that were an absolute ISO and it has been for a while it’s about time we had non chat in this country about state modern game Yeah you think it’s changed no gone do you want me to come back you’re supposed to improve things not make it worse it’s an entertainment industry end of day would I rather see Pep Guardiola pass me to death or pass i don’t make it past second game now i a match a day i stay up i stay up order second game gone it’s gone this episode of FC Bullard is sponsored by Lost Laga i love this time of year when the sun’s out you know coming towards the end of the season all seems a little bit easier doesn’t it you feel a bit summery don’t you you know like new wardrobe maybe a nice new bright jacket fresh trim you know it also means as well beer garden get out of a group of your mates have a few scoops oh now we’re talking Jim and if we’re talking lagger and let’s face it when are we not talking laga it’s got to be lost laga you know it fenners there’s nothing better than a nice clean fresh taste of Los Laga it is very fresh and you know there’s nothing better than getting home after a hard day’s recording here at FC Bullard cracking open a lovely can of Lost Lag and pouring it into your glass and once again I’ve wangled a great deal for our FC Bullard listeners you absolute wangler tell them how to get involved just go to brewdog.com/fc-bullard and that’s where you’ll find the best deal ever on Lost Laga guys we are in discussions as you know with Lost Laga to be the sponsors of our new awake kit which will be coming very soon so the more of you that can use that link the better chance we’ve got of getting that deal over the line what’s that link Bully it’s brewdog.com/fc-bullard cheers i’m I’m trying to think how can we get him involved fc Bullard well how do we make this work let me just let there’s an elephant in room here yeah how can we make You’ve already appointed somebody as a manager as as him that dorking FC guy mark White mark White what have you seen a lot about him what what do you think of Mark yeah cuz you work alongside him do you think i share some philosophies with him but is that north south thing that could be a potential there’s potential to clash there okay but that’s about integration and me meeting him and on neutral ground we’ll meet in Birmingham yeah we can talk about it you know meet me you know he’ll want me to come down here again oh no no mark’s good boy he’ll come up here cuz we want you really bad we want to do something with you i think we get this game on we meet let’s have a meeting we get the game on then you can meet Mark you can see what we’re all about and then we can just like try and get you in oh we could what we could do is it’s like a straightener you know your your team via team and whoever wins takes the helm well if we could have a proper ding-dong on Sunday league i think that’s what we do chris Wild at Sheffield United banners restarting Sunday league and I’ll say one thing about Chris his team were nasty and hard but a full-time whistle when he came off sweet as shook hands yeah it got forgot about and it were left on pitch if we can do that with pirates I think we can form a relationship okay I love it all right all right brilliant but if there’s a 12-man brawl in car park we’ve got [ __ ] problems love it so don’t me to go out at room no you’re all right just bring some what do you think i agree you can’t so Steve thanks for thanks for your time thanks for taking your time out of your your schedule to come down here today and you know we think it’s been a very very productive I mean how do you think it’s gone i’ve enjoyed it it’s [ __ ] warm but that’s you know that’s London mate that’s that’s world I’ve seen in World Cups when they go to South America they got to adjust aren’t they anyway uh I thought it’s gone all right i’ve enjoyed your company you’re football men you’re proper football men so I felt quite relaxed going into it well we think there’s definitely there’s definitely uh scope scope to to develop this and hopefully work together uh maybe it’s going to be a hybrid working situation for you obviously not Sunday Tuesday fine yeah that’s that’s that’s We respect that that’s been noted we love the club we love your club yeah okay okay but we think there’s there’s some more than that we just as FC Buller we want to see if we can do something with the oat do you know what I mean i think as clubs can we come together let’s do something i think we have to in modern world let’s get that going we have to stick together got collaborate collaboration at bottom at Pyramid that’s how we’re going to achieve as aims you up for that 100% get an event sorted 100% we’ll come up to you you’ve come down here we’ll come up to you and um we get you can meet Mark White you can meet a few of the people we’ve signed in our football club we’ve got a great team sounds fantastic but honestly you’ll get VIP treatment platinum service all right let’s take it eh super thanks for having me absolute honor thanks Jimmy massive fan thank you very much great stuff that concludes today’s episode of FC B a big thanks to Steve Backshaw for coming in blackmail i don’t know note about dolphins in North Atlantic [Music]