Well the days have passed and the hour is here
The new rules of golf take effect—but don’t fear!
The game is the same, it’s still hard and still great
But with many fewer penalties that nine might be eight!
So if you step on your ball while searching in rough
Or hit your own cart with a shank off a tuft
Should you slow down through impact and hit your ball twice
Or accidently nudge it on a green fast as ice
All is forgiven, no damage is done
There’s no penalty anymore, this is golf, it’s fun!
If you come to a green and plunk down a mark
And the wind blows the ball or is picked up by a lark
There’s no need to fret, don’t worry my friend
Simply put the ball back that’s it that’s the end
And here’s the best part that ol’ DJ’d sure favor
There’s no penalty at all, not even four hours later.
Oh, that spike mark created by Shaquille O’Neil’s shoe
Can now be tapped down, you heard me it’s true
And that flagstick that constantly came in and came out
Can always be left in with no need to doubt
There are a few things the rule makers have done
That might cause your foursome to walk faster or run
A ball search’s been shortened from five minutes to three
That even includes ProV1s lost in a tree
The rules now say forty is the max it should take
So pick a club pal, hit the ball for goodness sake!
If you make your living on the LPGA
You might tell your caddie to back up, stay away
This business of standing behind to line up
Is no longer allowed, so sorry, tough luck
So on New Year’s as we tune Dick Clark on our screen
And await the big countdown to 2019
In Times Square we’ll watch as the ball drops New Year’s Night
In honor of our game it will fall from Knee Height.
Happy Holidays from all of us at the Colorado Golf Association!
