The Premier League title race is OVER | Football Ramble

Marcus, Jim and Pete react to a huge weekend at the top of the Premier League as both Liverpool and Arsenal slipped up. Is it all over for Jurgen Klopp and Mikel Arteta?! Pete thinks Jack Grealish is already planning his post-title win sesh at Lineker’s…

Plus, Bayer Leverkusen’s sensational Bundesliga title (and Granit Xhaka’s sensational role) and there’s a man in Portsmouth with one VERY old carton of milk.

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The Football Ramble is the original football podcast. Covering the Premier League, the UEFA Champions League and beyond – the Football Ramble is your companion for the 2023/24 season.

On the podcast, we discuss the biggest figures in the beautiful game today. From players like Harry Kane, Mohamed Salah, Erling Haaland, Kevin De Bruyne, Bukayo Saka and Marcus Rashford; to managers like Jürgen Klopp, Pep Guardiola, José Mourinho, Mikel Arteta, Erik ten Hag, Mauricio Pochettino and Carlo Ancelotti.

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you’ve got the top of your paintball gun
caught on your jacket and all of the
paintballs are falling on the floor you
are cooked you are done give it up
everyone going all there rubbish give it
up
[Music]
hateful I’m going to go straight in with
highlights of the weekend guessing
you’re not going to choose that lovely
little Ollie Watkins dinker no I’m not
fun enough I’m going to is Midland’s
base though okay I’m going to go for uh
Morgan Gibbs white setting fire to his
relationship with the Wolves fans in
possibly the most extreme example of
definitely celebrating against your own
own club that we’ve seen this season
amazing yeah just really like get [ __ ]
you lot just really just really going
for it I’m not actually youth career
that was nine years long yeah well he he
did play um a fair few times for wolves
68 times yeah there you go exactly I’m
clearly Fair few there’s context I’m
missing that I’m happy to go without
because it’s far funnier if I know but
it was fantastic and then him and Matas
CA kind
of not quite having a spat K you kind of
doing Gibbs white celebration when he
scored and the two of them appearing to
be like the absolute best of friends
after the game despite the fact don’t
believe they’ve played together they
must just know each other from the area
which is odd Morgan Anthony Gibbs White
I’m on the Wikipedia uh is uh was born
in Stafford like he just hates his town
he hates the people who live in it he
hates his previous football team what is
this all about I love it it’s I’m sure
wolves fans going know it’s because of
this but yeah sure but what I love
though is the fact that as you say it
was really premeditated the way he kind
of goes to to celebrate with the forest
fans and then he goes no I’m not going
to celebrate with you I’m going to mug
this off like it was was so like where’s
a give me all the bridges and I’ll burn
them all maybe they’ve been giving him
some stick during the game or meetings
I’m sure it’s sure it’s related to that
but like say I’m sure someone will fill
me in where I’m sat right now knowing
nothing it’s it fantastic wonderful
wonderful stuff Peter Well you mentioned
Indiana Jones earlier I did yeah um fan
at the Saudi super cup uh final lashed
an Al idad player with a whip a whip
this sounds exaggerated I can’t bring a
pain to the
ground I can’t bring my Walkman to the
ground no and and and that that guy’s
allowed a whip beautiful did he Park his
horse outside didn’t technically uh
invade the pitch though so it’s fine so
this was this changed your tune so
quickly it’s a
perfect you’re all all for this sort of
stuff now aren’t you it’s a perfect
hooligan tool because you’re not
entering the field of player so you’re
not going to get a Banning order and
just absolutely whiping people from from
a few meters away yeah so the player
yeah during this high-profile Saudi
Arabian football match does he go over
and throw water at the F yeah so I mean
there’s an argument to say that the
player was involved in the FR but um the
the man he brought a glass of water to a
whip fight he did the whip is mightier
than the cup yeah I mean I just want to
see more of that when I was in you want
to see more of that I want to see more
of this I think you’re in the right
place
mate I just the um when I was in
Zimbabwe uh doing some charity work
don’t want to talk about it um the a man
a man showed me his elephant Whip and
that was about the size of a a limo did
you run off and go chase me see what you
do just the noise of it was beautiful I
just want someone to bring an elephant
whip to uh I don’t think that’s an
actual thing a man just had a long whip
and he said it was an elephant whip
maybe the length of the whip yeah
elephant determines what animal you’re
going to use trunk Jason Tindle with one
to motivate anyone El beautiful well
he’s not allowed in the Technic
technical area when the manager in there
so yeah what other traditional Saudi
practices do you like now let’s move
[Laughter]
on but yeah good good vibes just just do
things right out there don’t they they
just do things right is that a new
watch bring it in here tea
leaves oh yeah the Arsenal and the
Fulham fan yeah absolutely absolutely he
was born in Essex oh dear I know what
they’re kind of like now I just don’t
trust New Money Jim I don’t know about
you um my highlight the weekend well
going back to Forest we wolves I mean
that couldn’t your goal yeah I should
specify the first one that’s one second
one was a proper buled it in uh
beautiful beautiful stuff all right um
we’ve delayed the inevitable enough let
us go to the top of the Premier League
because Manchester City ended the week
in top of the league after beating Luton
toown 5-1 on Saturday [ __ ] angry
about um but of course the shock of the
weekend really was Liverpool zero
Chrystal Palace one Liverpool have lost
consecutive games at anfield for the
first time since 2021
Pete donalson last ditch defending and
missed chances were the story of that
game it’s the story of a lot of games
the top of the league AK Arsenal but um
I mean this is man City’s transition
season and I’m I I’m I think I’m just
going to get angry and angrier as The
Show Goes On the more I think about how
people are just throwing this away but
Crystal Palace they just used their
quickest players in transition just
really really well and they just
absolutely Liverpool off form um Crystal
Palace incredible glar took um Alis off
to save him for the next game that’s how
good Palace were he coming back from
injury I know but yeah it’s but they
usually you would rush that player back
and have him play every minute that was
the problem though
against Brighton I can’t remember who it
was against when when he was but if
you’re going to use him if you’re going
to overheat him it’s going to be in this
match against Liverpool away from home
and uh my God they were just fantastic
they really were they looked look made
Liverpool look very very awesome well
the goal they scored was a beauty yeah
it was lovely move wasn’t it really calm
finish from Ezra as well just what a
player I mean I feel like we praising
him every week and so he should be
because he’s just so much fun to watch
yeah I mean and Mata had chances as well
yeah that oh God I mean Andy Robertson
like got that one off the line if if
they had a little bit more Pace on it
that’s 2-0 and then that point blank
save at the end which you have to say
brilliant goalkeeper from Allison even
though it’s right at him he’s still got
to get his hand to it well there was
some great saves at both ends really I
mean that was maybe the pick of the
bunch although Dean Henderson would feel
perhaps griefed absolutely but it was
remarkable there was only one goal
scored in the game um especially from
from Liverpool’s point of view I mean
they’ve had 67 shots and scored twice
across the last three games in all
competitions Darwin Nunes has the worst
big chance conversion rate across
Europe’s top five leagues at 20% he’s
had his criticism um and he’ll have more
of it in because of these um the last
few games but they’re not scoring goals
Liverpool in the of late you there’s so
many chances you know you think of and
those three you Manchester United my
goodness you know even at Atlanta they
lose 3-0 they still have loads of
chances and this one it if you’re a
Liverpool fan you bit concerned
absolutely yeah I mean you know blips
happen in Seasons right it’s about how
quickly you get over them stop doing the
blips at the same time teams top that is
annoying strongly agree on that um but
it’s surprising how blunt theyve become
in front of goal um and one of the other
issues they have that’s compounding that
is they’ve they’ve managed to get 27
seven points from losing positions this
season which is is amazing that’s a huge
amount but going behind catches up with
you eventually well I wonder if there’s
an element
of that Absolut that what you’ve just
said there Jim not a case of being found
out because they’re a very good side but
you mentioned Man City are in a
transitional period Liverpool way more
so man city just won the treble I think
yeah but they’re changing out they’re
having to change up some older players
aren’t they there’s a few that have come
in you know kovic and uh and dku and
players coming through yeah so so I
understand but but Liverpool certainly
the obvious ones in transition you would
say and I I did wonder that Jim as well
that it would sort of catch up but when
you say catch up again that’s no
disrespect it’s not a case of the the
sort of the Plucky Underdog or or the um
side the unfancied side who are kind of
in a title race until November December
and then just the quality of the others
because the top of the Premier League
now you have to be Immaculate if you’re
going to win the league the standards
that essentially Guardiola and kloppers
well have set are so ridiculously high
we’ve never seen this before that you
just have a couple of bad results and
suddenly woof yeah and I also think you
know winning 3-0 can take less out of
you than winning 2-1 after you’ve gone
one n down and had to do it late like
the energy reserves that takes this
picture been seen again and again with
li this season and I think that’s
possibly that’s kind of caught up with
them a little bit in terms of this
little run where they’ve they’ve not
been able to score and they look a
little bit less like themselves like the
Atlanta game was was they look like a
different team they they’ve got the
majority of their first team players
back now as well so perhaps some of them
are getting back up to speed that’s
probably part of it he’s obviously not
not at his best because he’s you know he
needs the Run he’s currently having now
to get to the to that so possibly some
unfortunate time in there and you know
sometimes a team just defends really
really well against you and there’s
nothing you can do about it some of that
Palace defending was absolutely
exceptional yesterday that clearance
from from Mitchel the end goodness
saving Henderson from having to do
anything was was Top Class like really
really strong sometimes that just
happens yeah I know what you mean
Mitchell in particular I mean it seemed
like every time the ball had left a
Liverpool foot and you thought that’s on
its way Mitchell was like yeah I’ll do
the the goalkeeper work for it it was
kle as well getting in the way of one
where you thought surely this is a goal
now against his old Club against his old
Club yeah indeed what’s the last thing
you want though if you’ve lost a game at
an important game and you’re feeling
quite down is it a tweet from Liam
Gallagher taking the piss out of I don’t
know Marcus enlightened me let me hear
it and then I’ll make a joke to all you
I mean I I’ll have to add the
punctuation and stuff in um to all you
Liverpool fans giving me verbals I love
it bring it on and just remember I’m up
there with your beloved shankley what in
heaven how am I doing you
prick I have achieved I’ve won things
your little memes won’t win your trebles
or a residency at nworth so sit down a
residency just confus TOS just confusing
mcfc LG kiss
so to be fair KC 94 um quite beautifully
wrote you sold 74 tickets on your USA
tour I bought 73 of them yeah he he has
still pled newith wasn’t he Paul dickov
says no that’s what I call a Super
Sunday thanks Paul lovely yeah good on
him good on him yeah I it it was it was
a stunning result because on Friday when
we previewed this game I was thinking
you know well Palace haven’t won in
goodness knows how long you know then
not scoring that many goals that um and
and Liverpool despite that loss against
Atlanta you know surely this will be a
reaction from them Dy Dy D and you you
punch it in and it’s a stunning result
well once again sorry Jim once again
like klopp was like I the way he reacted
to the goal was like oh oh this is
happening again this happened in midweek
why is it happening again yes exactly
even even the best teams getting periods
where scoring a goal feels impossible
right yeah and I I I think they’re just
you know me one of those phases now
unfortunately yeah I mean and you know
we should remind of they are just two
points off manest City you know we can
wax lle about Man City and see how how
wonderful they and of course they are
their to be well they will um but
Liverpool they’re still in it you know
despite this of course
but there is an inevitability about uh
how everything is uh playing out well
it’s easy to make that assumption isn’t
it but we don’t know that for sure yeah
because of all the fact and situations
and experiences we’ve had in the past gy
I mean Liverpool go to Fulham next which
as you know is a disaster well they’re
not going to get they’re not going to
get anything there um well when asked if
Liverpool are still in the title race
club said the answer is pretty easy if
we play like that in the first half why
would we win the
league
and I wonder if you get one or two
sloppy results klopp is off at the end
of the
season right now you would think he’s
now got to say come on Lads one last
harah you know the face This squ One
Last Dance this squad this whole thing
we have now this is it this is all this
is this is let’s go out with a bang if
you see what I mean because I wonder if
Salah will will maybe leav in the summer
or I wonder if he’ll you know the body
language or something will he fancy the
new change considering how brilliant
it’s been underclock for you know there
all these kind of questions are the
players starting to just hear those kind
of opening cords from a a pumping Euro
dance bait from Lin’s bar is that what
is that what we’re talking about the
beach are the tools loosening in their
grip or the crack of a SA I
don’t but uh I yeah so klopp is you know
he wants mentality monsters he doesn’t
want mentality minions no and he’s got
to turn this around because we know
they’ve got the quality we know they can
score the goals it is now his man
management and that emotional side of
things he’s got to get get a get a big
old grip of that and and and turn it
around cuz otherwise they’ll finish the
season with just the one trophy which
would be impressive don’t get me wrong
you know winning that obviously I think
klopp said it was a special one they’ll
always have that but when you’re going
for four I guess the thing with the
caribel it’s great to win it but they’ve
celebrated it right so long ago exactly
exactly they want another one at the end
indeed indeed uh elsewhere in the title
of course Arsenal lost 2-0 at home to
Aston Villa Two fairly late gos I say
fairly late go it was about 8 minutes of
injury time although the fans who left
on the 89th minute clearly didn’t
realize that um but they were the only
two shots on target for Aston Villa and
and that that’s what won him the game
Jim yeah well I mean I don’t think that
tells the full story of the game though
because OE Watkins hit the post in the
first half with was very unlucky not to
score T hit the bar and the post in your
dark Arsenal heart would you kind of
want to go that in obviously not come on
no it hit bar and post and I enjoyed
that a lot because I got to see the ball
hit the bar and the post and then there
wasn’t a
goal uh yeah it was funny that it feels
like you never see that very often and
then two in a week and then bang um but
they don’t count as shots on target they
do but but still it does it what I mean
by that is saying that they scored with
their only two shots on target sounds
makes it sound like they weren’t in the
game but they were in the game yes is a
very a frustrating missed opportunity
from Arsenal but if you look at how the
game went you you just have to praise
Villa um you could spin it another way
and say well actually Villa beating
Arsenal at the Emirates that can happen
cuz Villa are a good side we know really
good side whereas Palace beating
Liverpool anfield is far less likely so
it’s just I think it’s annoying for
Arsenal than just the chronological of
it don’t get me wrong I think Arsenal
should have won that game I think they
should have had what it takes to
navigate the challenges that Villa posed
because they were on top in the first
half the chances in the first half well
I think trad’s got to score I agree it’s
a good say from Martinez but it’s too
close to him he needs to put it anywhere
else it happens it happens at speed it’s
a difficult thing to pull off but I
agree like that that should have been
one nil the the other chances weren’t
weren’t anywhere near as clearcut as
that and Arsenal did well to to make a
lot of them but part of the you know the
the sort of um part of what made Villa
so good was that they don’t give you a
lot of time in the Box spent a lot of
time in in Villa box but they they they
made sure they had to pretty much rush
things quite a lot or just or do
something spectacular very quickly they
marshaled that very well their offside
track was exceptional again they’ve been
really good at that all season and part
of arteta’s um game plans this season
has all been about control and
controlling the opponent however Arsenal
themselves are playing whether they’re
sort of sitting a bit deeper to defend
because they know that the opponent are
having a moment or or whatnot just
essentially being ready for lots of
different styles of of of of of play
Within different phases of the game but
Villa managed that really well they
figured it out in the first half in
particular and then they just kind of
they shut Arsenal down really really
well they they knew a chance would come
and it comes from a sort of kind of
lapses of concentration it’s hard to
sort of pin on anyone with a first goal
in particular I think celra should be
more alert to that ball rolling through
and he should get rid of it no one’s
picking up Leon Bailey and we all know
what a brilliant season he’s having he’s
probably the most dangerous Villa player
on the pitch at the moment and perhaps
decl rice can be a bit more aware of him
but it comes from a slightly chaotic
moment Villa capitalized on that really
well obviously the first goal the second
goal um I suppose happens when a team is
sort of chasing a game suddenly but
still pretty sloppy the second Tim is
poor from Arsenal because it happens in
the 87th minute you’ve still got you
know we know injury time you you’ve got
loads of it so there’s still a good 10
minutes left it’s very Wayward ball from
who’s still getting up to speed in the
game I think and I also think it this
might be slightly harsh but I think EML
Smith row has a lot of time to try and
sort of shepher Watkins away or or do
something there but my point about there
being 10 minutes left
it’s don’t a draw is one n down and
there there’s not that much time left I
understand push push push but don’t push
to ridiculous levels like there’s just
two minutes left or three you know just
yes you’ve got to go for it um and I
know you know was SC in the 70th minute
or something yeah exactly I just CU cuz
you you’ve been picked off before on on
on the break and you know what Watkins
can do and he a wonderful finish I mean
these are all little things first half
Arsenal should have been up at half time
there’s no two ways about that but Villa
went as you say when they come out in
the second half Emory said if if if they
learned from the Manchester City game if
we just want to play deep and just try
and hit them on the break without having
much possession it’s going to be a long
old day and and he said we had to get
possession back and they did and they
were doing it without perhaps their
first choice sort of Center Midfield I
mean telman and mcin were fantastic in
the center we know they’re quality
players it’s something else to see that
ass in
person what happened Jim was did you pop
down it just kept just kept moving whip
it
um do you not think it was just kind of
Arsenal just in a situation
where their most clinical finisher seems
to be Kai hav and even then he does most
of his good stuff at um International
level which is like I don’t know yeah I
know you mean well that that that that
sort of um
OT like smashing it into the Neo post
instead of putting it across the G again
I think that was a lot of that was to do
with how good Villa were at shepher in
those kind of angles um but yeah I mean
Arsenal SC a lot of goals this season
they’ve shared them around there was a
there was a chat a few months ago about
how they need a sort of clinical goal
scorer um that will probably be
addressed in the summer I think jayus is
is not at his best he’s not um in terms
of his form he’s been talking about
carrying a sort of pain in his knee and
we’ll probably have surgery again in The
Summer’s he’s not been as good as he was
last season for for whatever reason and
I think that’s that’s starting to show
now as well I it’s just this whole
weekend has just been a massive missed
opportunity obviously it has but you’re
done I’m sorry guys you’re cooked now
abely City Manchester City are just they
are up at 4:00 a.m. mining Bitcoin with
j compr and everyone else is having a
little snooze they don’t even have a
chair let have a comfy chair exactly
no a bed of nails there does seem an
inevitability about Jack Gish is
planning his [ __ ] sesh that’s what
he’s doing may I remind you though
Manchester City still have to go to
Craven they do have to go the king
makers are still are still at play
aren’t they so let’s have a let’s have a
look at this the games that have left
they all look winnable you got Brighton
away Forest away Wolves at home Fulham
away tricky Spurs away West Ham at home
Spurs Spurs have given them trouble
before but you don’t want to be relying
on that Spurs will have a lot to play
for going into the you know penultimate
game of the season you think so maybe
and if they win if if they win all those
games that’s a nine game winning run
which you know not many teams manag but
man city aren’t aren’t most teams not
much for it doesn’t seem like it’s
outside the possibilities how say so
it’s yeah I mean you’re hoping that
something goes AR in all of these games
and then Arsenal win every game and
Liverpool hoping the same thing as well
can I say that is wonderful politician
stuff if you were to spin it fully that
well Manchester City will have to have a
nine game winning run if they want to
win win the top whereas Arsenal and
Liverpool of course only need a six game
running run to run the rest of their
game you’ve got the top of your
paintball gun caught on your jacket and
all of the paint balls are fallen on the
floor you are cooked you are done give
it up everyone going all day rubbish
Give It Up hateful hateful the season
leave on the leave on the 84th minut you
had it like like the guy sat next to me
he got it right
though he got home before any of you he
probably did yeah yeah look the only
Craven Cottage around here he how dare
you why there’s only one I know it’s
named after a man but like Craven
Cottage is hardly I mean the word Craven
is like I know what you mean yeah but
like do you know sof it doesn’t it I
love CRI like used to be a hunting LOD
it hunting animals used to to die there
who would animals with a maybe that’s
what it’s named after they’d chase him
in there yeah you cow you crav little
rabbits it’s C Cottage is a big abire it
well I tell you what there’s a joke in
there somewhere so find it but this is
exactly the stuff though that Arsenal
and Liverpool have to get out of their
heads they can’t be like it’s done it’s
done now well yeah they did and they
have to they have to like both klopp and
artetta spoke about how you react to
these things being the measure of what
your season’s going to be so uh get M on
the phone I’ll give him a little pep
talk yeah yeah I tell you what that fell
that
cries did we talk about this I can’t
remember TI to man who cries yeah love
him there’s Al there’s also another
Maniac in sit in his Range Rover doing
like inspirational sort of like oh I’ve
seen this seen sort of inspirational you
are amazing you are amazing you are a
beautiful woman and they’re all Focus
women weird weird men of Tik Tok I may
become one one day I don’t know this man
and I’m going to keep keep it that way
uh um but I do know um unai Emory and he
is now finally talking about Aston Villa
as um as uh contenders for Champions
League qualification for next season the
thing that’s been lost amongst this
weekend actually is if you take it in
isolation the ding-dong between Spurs
and Villa has been fantastic this season
they keep sort swapping places and one
of them blinks and then the other one
does as well and it’s it’s it’s it’s
really difficult to to know who’s going
to finish fourth or fifth yeah yeah well
I was looking at when when Newcastle
beat spur which will come on obviously
too um uh I was like oh yeah maybe we’ll
get closer to like 10 points behind I
like God that’s a big old Gap is it
indeed yeah well he very much between
the two sides we will finish fourth of
course and Ole Watkins 19 goals for this
season second behind earling Harland of
course supporter so can you trust a
snake like that on a that’s true that’s
it’s true that’s a great return Emmy
Martinez said he should be player of the
Season he’s got to be up there in the
conversation I mean I know people would
have Phil foden Dean Ry um and there’s
others of course but maybe just meant
Villa Aston Villa player of the Season
yeah it’ be harsh if he didn’t get that
yeah Martinez did say I still love
arsenal I came here as a young lad and
left as a man I didn’t want to see the
sign language for that like what he’s
got in his hand what he’s waving around
what he’s humping yeah he loves it
doesn’t he he absolutely loves it um Jim
we’ve often said that when players leave
Tottenham Hotspur they go on to win
trophy yeah you you you you can you can
count them there there’s a there’s a
fair few um has that role now reversed
Harry Kane left Spurs he’s in trouble of
not winning a trophy Granite Jaa left
Arsenal he’s won the Bundesliga it’s
delightful it is incredible is it a part
of a big part of the B lusen side who
have been phenomenal the season bu
leager everybody knows this H they beat
veran 5-0 to win their first ever
Bundesliga big Granite scored in the
5-nil win and he is now without a out a
B lusen legend because that team will be
there will be plaques made of this team
in B lusen the first time they ever won
the tit the way they’ve done it and it’s
it’s glorious lest we forget not that
long ago he was being booed off the
pitch at the end was a long time ago I
know obviously he the Arsenal and fans
and him you know um rekindled their love
for each other so I don’t want to be be
disrespectful to anybody or anything
like that but winning the league with
five games to go I’m not surprised um
that he’s getting his flowers because I
mean he sort of leads the league for
touches and various other sort of
impressive metrics he’s been all action
and that was how he played in the last
two seasons at Arsenal in particular
after he sort of shifted his position um
and I’m I’m delighted for him but also
just for Leverkusen as well it’s it’s
not like this is a team full of um you
know huge Superstars is it there’s a lot
of like really surprising players in
there like Nathan Tor as well what a
story there coming coming over from from
Southampton and um and and and making a
contribution to to to this historic team
it is it is a beautiful thing to behold
and they’ve won it in such style and to
you know it took a while didn’t it for
them to really press home their
advantage but in the end they won 5- nil
and that that sense of release and
relief at the end is is decades in the
making I know like um zadan sort of won
a lot of stuff very early on into his
managerial career just like bang he had
a Champions League or whatever yeah like
Alonzo this bearing in mind that where
that team were when he picked them up
fighting relegation this has to be one
of the great managerial performances and
it’s one of the things it’s Roy Kee at
Sunderland there’s a there was a shot
where jav Lonzo was celebrating he had
his hands up and his t-sh his shirt and
his jumper was lifted up over his sort
of belly
button my God does that little line he
get towards the pubis hello yes please
sculpted how does he find times to work
out I know like managers are managing
their football club or sleeping is he s
exercising I have no idea but he could
still do a job Health body he doesn’t
need to because he’s doing the other job
really well so
well unbelievable stuff all right coming
up in the second half we’ve got
Newcastle hammering Spurs Manchester
United failing to impress again and a
tale of frozen milk see you in a
moment by the way from somebody who
suffers with tenus I wasn’t making light
of that condition oh do you yeah it’s a
nightmare I’ve got a lot of problems
with my ears
[Laughter]
pardon walked into that one welcome back
to the Football Ramble NE L five live
there bit of in the
room thanks to Friend of the ramble Jam
hands there he is again for sending us
that clip you can become a friend of the
ramble too by heading over to patron.com
ramble you’ll also get access to the
Discord where you can chat with us and
other ramble listeners and get adree
episodes of the ramble UPF front and on
the continent patrons on the Discord
pointed out that blimp was the word of
the day on wle yesterday does anyone
still play Wordle I’ve given up um I
fell out with my dad so we don’t do
Wordle on a WhatsApp group anymore not
now Peter click the link in the show
description I miss you w not
Dad can we get into this on on Wednesday
I think I think it’s a ramble uncut
conversation uh whereas Jim I feel that
this needs to be brought to the to the
ramble Public’s um attention I got a
text message from a friend of mine
called John and this is a call to Arms
there’s somebody out there I think well
I’ll let you be the judge I’ll let you
be the judge I got this i got this text
that I’m going to read out verbatim
vatam today sat in a well-known brenford
restaurant I overheard a mother calling
their slightly naughty child it didn’t
really sink in until the second or third
shout but the child was called spell yes
the kid kept running around and kept
being called back spell spell spell on
the last go I made eye contact with the
mum who smiled I saw my chance spella
that’s an unusual name I said thanks she
said assuming I was complimenting
her the mother said he’s named after
some guy my husband likes oh really
who’s that I don’t know some bloke and I
just wondered wow what is happening here
was there a speller from Big Brother
back in the day I’ll stop it oh come on
famous spellers let’s have a look I mean
there’s not many there’s not many I’m
trying to think it’s a rare name
wisit he was a famous wasn’t he oh that
was that that back in the day there was
like little monster on uh on BBC 2 you
going to these length to deny me I’ve
Googled spell big brother there nothing
I I think you are the leading candidate
here leading so I guess we’re putting
out not a call to Arms I think a call to
Arms is
wrong information that
poorly have you done your because there
can only be one have you done your
familial Empire Dirty by calling your
son or daughter spell if you’re in the
brenford area yeah or in fact are there
any other spellers out there yeah it’s a
generation of us I don’t know I don’t
know fasinating yeah genuinely
fascinating wor right let’s go um to
something that uh we can all um get our
heads around Newcastle United 4
Tottenham hot spur zero it’s happened
again it’s happened again
mother oh dear when there was those two
quick goal scored I thought here we go
we got R of the hands oh Pete Donson
what a lovely time you had I didn’t I we
labored to a one nil win and you to win
I did I did because we lab a one nil win
against yot but van v like he just had
his little bit of carpet out he bre
about the chos remember we talking about
the his dad’s
uh detective or and he said his dad told
him to embrace the chaos of everything
around you that much around on his face
more like a Chalk Outline on the floor
wasn’t
he it was but and that wasn’t Vanishing
spray really surprising performance from
Spurs obviously you got to give
Newcastle their credit as well but
obviously in a game that one-sided there
there’s always an element of the
opponent um is is that surprising each
of tottenham’s past three Premier League
defeats by four plus goals have all come
against Newcastle at St james’ part yeah
but you know that’s none of those were
under postao obviously he’s changed a
lot of the culture of the club and a lot
of the style of remains Jim indeed yeah
May I don’t know maybe the badge
conceded four it’s it’s it’s I was I’m
very surprised by it can I say that
Alexander isack he’s he’s in Rich vein
of form he is a he is a a cold finisher
when he wants to absolutely and that
stare he’s got if you were in if you
were in the wild wild west and someone
said you know we’re going to you’re
going to have a shoot you’re going to
have a shootout and you looked up and
you saw him staring at you be like I’m
dead yeah just shoot me now he possibly
Sweden’s longest man isn’t he and that’s
that’s part of it
ibrahimov but his legs are so long he
can he just eats up grass like a long
cow bearing down on your
goal little that yeah he had very long
legs as well still has very long legs as
far as I know you do for a while do you
shrink from me back he’s going to look
really weird when he’s over short little
back long legs maybe one leg will shrink
who knows daddy long they call him the
hagus um but yeah it’s great wi you and
and hea he’s in fine form him and Gordon
are just absolute Dynamite they’re very
top heavy that side but I’m loving that
absolutely loving that I mean Anthony
Gordon’s had it I mean you know I doubt
he’ll get a mention due to you know
maybe big team bias and all that kind of
stuff but Anthony Gordon for player of
the Season yeah in the Premier League
yeah he’s really he’s up I don’t I don’t
think I would have him winning it but I
think at least the briefest of mentions
you know marz he has he’s done what he’s
been brought in to do isn’t he because
he was very impressive at Everton and
really caught the eye but I think
Newcastle were hoping is it fair he got
out while the going was good he sure did
or while the going was not that terrible
but I I think there was a sense for
Newcastle and part of the reason they
spent the money on was on him was this
is an improving player like a rapidly
improving player who can come in and and
make a significant contribution if he
continues his trajectory and he’s done
that he’s fit that brief really really
well I also think he’s got a proper
England career ahead of him definitely
absolutely and he this they looked a bit
like the newcast of last season really
didn’t they not not just because of how
you know off they were in front of goal
they look really hard to play against
like just phys big Bast all that you
know Bruno gimmer isn’t that tall but he
is a big bastard somehow yeah he was
seen counting the score in his fingers
to giovan Lelo yeah he went one two four
he didn’t do three for some
reason easier with the hand though isn’t
it yeah are you
sure maybe he didn’t do thumb he didn’t
do thumb he didn’t do thumb 1 2 3 four 1
2 one 2 four you want want to check the
thumb again all right I’ll check the
thumb again yeah have a little check see
if he did cuz lot a lot of people lot
around the world they do the thumb as
one right see you know may think
glorious bastards without giving anyway
anything away fine um yeah but isach 17
goals in no he moved the thumb in he had
the thumb out then he moved the thumb in
to do the two so he red he started with
one yeah then when he got to two he
moved the thumb in removing one from the
field of play and then he went to four
did he I didn’t see the game was there
RI allowed
goal well I mean he managed to avoid the
yellow card um pratfall didn’t he It’s
just sad really I’m hoping to see that
narrative come to fruition yeah indeed
um before the uh the game Ria Ferdinand
said the word [ __ ] on TNT Sports yeah he
was being interviewed by Jules though
not Bill gry Like You Been by Bill
Grundy he’s probably just picked up bad
habits from her yeah exactly Rio say
something outrageous yeah I was about to
say don’t tell people that but then they
can just listen back to Old referen
ramble and she was giggling away
he he will do that’s what he’s there for
isn’t he he has a little giggle does he
and he also makes um the dynamic between
him and jilles hilarious
yeah um great win for Newcastle though
nonetheless it was fantastic the
interesting quirk in that match was that
um Lewis Hall um because of that match
taking place is now locked down oh yeah
he signed on lawn right um with a full
move um for like 25 million or something
um if Newcastle came 15th or above in
the Premier League and that
mathematically that match even though
lisis Hall was stuck on the bench yeah
and he didn’t play uh that’s what on the
bench means he yeah he’s locked down to
a Newcastle contract now I think good
day for Chelsea yeah yeah great day for
money for him so I was very impressed
with Louis Hall last season in the sort
of Fleet in Cameo as I saw him make for
Chelsea I thought that was quite a good
signing have you enjoyed what you seing
of him uh yeah in in flashes I think um
I think the managerial uh setup um I
think they just want to sort of
introduce him a little bit slower which
is probably not exactly m music to leis
Hall’s ears but I think they’re going to
kind of slowly sort of bed him in at the
start of next season I think properly
lovely uh well Newcastle are in pole
position to finish six because
Manchester United uh Drew against
Bournemouth 22 um they end the week in
seventh um so yeah Newcastle ahead on go
difference entertaining game on the
south coast uh Bournemouth maybe feel a
little bit grieved with regards to
penalties and and what not Jim what did
you make of this one um I enjoyed it
obviously because the chaos of it there
some some impressive goals in it I think
Bruno Fernandez his first goal was was
great and sort of got lost among the
noise of the weekend a little bit really
really like impressive footwork it was
it was as if it was the way he sorted
his feet out I mean obviously he’s going
to score if you what six yards out and
you’ve got a free Vol but it was just
like getting piss off yeah you know it
was like an adult tidying up wasn’t it
yeah it was yeah which he you know we
we’ve all got a lot of big opinions
about Bruno Fernandez sometimes he isn’t
that adult sometimes he’s very petulant
um but he led by example there um but
yeah the I mean what do you think about
the
penalty which one the Manchester United
one the man united I can see why it’s
given he’s got a lot of time to stop
that happening yeah I I agree I I think
that a lot of people felt grieved by
this Bournemouth in particular and a lot
of people disagree with I you you can’t
be that surprised that that’s given I
personally think yeah people say he
moves his hand towards the ball I
actually think he moves his hand moves
his arm out of the way and then sort of
maybe instinctively reacts again somehow
and it hits
[Laughter]
him yeah I I’m surprised that you think
that because um you’re not um a
supporter of one of the big six cartel
clubs yeah cuz we we got the old
corruption locked down that was always
going to be given for one of us one of
our lot man united are in seventh true
true you know as it it was put to Eric
tenh har um seventh storing out yeah
seventh would be Manchester United’s
lowest ever Premier League finish now
did he storm out of this interview much
has been made of this CU to me he
answers the question that’s before that
which would be ultimately the
penultimate question um and he looks
like he goes to get up as if to say
right I think we’re done and then and
then he’s asked about this and I’m not
interested and walks out so the idea he
stormed out after if I just do this now
because at some point I’m going to Le
yeah like it it tells it Own Story it
becomes a storming out doesn’t it whe
whether he’s getting ready to leave or
not he’s there still you know an element
of professionalism that needs to take
place I don’t I storming out I think
because the stor stump your feet exactly
the storm element has to you’re angry I
just think he was just like B I’ve had
enough of this piss right he gusted out
yeah exactly I think it was a g he galed
out the room GED out the room yeah I
don’t he wafted it out the room typical
Manchester United performance wafting
out of the room everything they’re doing
is entertaining we have to keep the
status quo it’s brilliant I absolutely
love um what do you think of GATRA being
subbed at half time yeah he’s been a
differen maker isn’t he so it’s I can
understand why a garach himself was
probably a bit miffed he was caught
liking um your friend of mine Mark
goldbridge tweet uh which criticized
tenh har and accused him of throwing
gacho under the bus I think um he should
be reprimanded for that um and not like
liking the Tweet just following him just
well we’re not sure if he follows him
right you know but he did he did endorse
him somewhat uh so yeah poor old gacha
who’s been one of the better players you
would you would certainly argue what
about cassimiro Jamie redab accused him
of looking like he was playing in soccer
raid and Jamie r that knows cuz he’s
contributed very well to soccer of
course it’s a f he looks like he’s in
the sketches advert oh I do like those
sketches way can just put you you don’t
have to have use a shoe horn or anything
do you you get into that age where
sketches are I use I use a shoehorn to
get my trainers on and um yeah I just I
just just putting your feet right in
your trainers like that amazing you can
just jump invention why doesn’t all
shoes have that off the top bunk into
the trailers the rest of the day
trainers very often do you Pete this is
this is the world you’re missing out on
no I just want to get but I can’t bring
myself to wearing to wear sketches cuz I
just think it’s works for Harry Kane
you’ve gone to
seed gone to seed uh well yeah I mean
casemiro though he is he is gasping
million pounds gasping for the offseason
isn’t he yeah he’s
32 Old yeah it’s not that old is it it
really is the whole this whole kind of
situation makes it seem like he’s like
35 36 and just like sort of spluttering
to the end of his career even if he was
35 or 36 like it’s still like this is
like is he injured or something there’s
something maybe there were times you
know when you know it’s it’s older
gentleman where you’re on a run or or or
you’re on a you’re on a you’re in a
treadmill and suddenly your body goes
nope nope take that down take that speed
down I it feels like that’s what’s
happening to him is it just because I
mean does tenh har not trust anybody in
that role do they not have anybody who’s
capable in that role I I don’t know but
I feel sorry killed a lot of careers is
it yes I don’t it’s maybe if they ask
him questions in trainings he just wafts
out yeah in a fury they don’t know what
to do I mean maybe look I understand
that that you know some players you know
when they’re playing for arguably the
biggest side or one of the biggest sides
in the world in Real Madrid and I say
hey but I’m you know come on recent
years you know in success and so you
know puts an enormous shift in for them
wins many trophies and so on Manchester
United can’t be seen as a kind of I’ll
just play my you know I’ll I’ll take it
easy and you know putting the odd
performance here and there it’s it has
to be different the amount of money they
spent on him and so on and so forth um I
know Varan came from real Varan was
regarded as one of the best center halfs
in the world and since of being at
Manchester United you wouldn’t put him
up in that bracket I he’s been Terri or
anything but you know perhaps a bit of a
drop off is it just such a basket case
of a club that this happens but then I
don’t think you can blame no the
surroundings of Manchester United for
casimir’s perceived lack of effort and
he’s you wouldn’t say he was that type
of player he’s he’s old enough and
experienced enough to know that that’s a
piss poor shift I’m just wondering is
there something physically Li I think it
has to be a fitness issue he’s too tooo
experienced a player too good a player
to to you know if he can run he
absolutely will be surely there’s surely
there’s something some energy
conservation thing happening there it is
it is odd and I just wonder if he’s
playing quite clearly at 75% maybe not
even that at times but tenh thinks I
can’t trust anybody else to do that role
you know we’ll get hammered Etc like if
you think it’s chaotic now but I I at a
big Club surely you’ve got to have
another you’ve got to have something
he’s been tasked for like just getting
possession back quite high up in the
field and I think at that age it’s a
it’s a difficult job to he’s a year he’s
a year older than Granite Jacka for GR
yeah but he looks I keep on talking
about his big F he looks like Cristiano
Ronaldo at 43 getting a lot of Borox and
and that’s where Ronaldo will end up I
just know that yeah yeah but he’ll still
be ridiculously fit CH will be playing
in the Saudi third tier or something I
don’t I don’t know he might get those um
those um AB implants you know like that
Paparazzi bloke got Mr Paparazzi name
Darren Lions I think his name was he got
um he got like silicone abs put into his
stomach he gets mentioned quite a lot on
this show weirdly yeah he’s always your
bin seen what I’m up to can you just eat
what you want then and and takes care of
it got a sixpack got a sixpack guys it’s
like sticking way out it’ be really we
it’s like the tip of the
stomach well I crocodile Pete no doubt
you know someone who can sort us out
there let’s all get down and do that uh
right well it was a much better weekend
for the women’s side of Manchester
United as they beat Chelsea in the
semi-final of the FA Cup it was a
dramatic game and a huge upset in Emma
Hayes’s Chase for a treble to end her
time at Chelsea just like jgen klopp of
course um you can hear all the reaction
to that on tomorrow’s up front with Klo
and Rachel it promises to be a cracking
listen and of course it was it was great
for Tottenham Hotspur as well their
ladies team one right uh some promotion
chat Portsmouth were made to wait for
their return to the championship put
that milk back in the freezer yes they
needed to beat Bolton on Saturday to
seal promotion could only manage a one
old draw now on Friday a Portsmouth fan
tweeted a story about their granddad who
froze some milk a whole carton of milk
and a big cart on the milk at that in
2008 because it went out of date when
Portsmouth won the FA Cup 2008 I had
some really old kale from the freezer
yesterday right directly out of it or
did you thore it thought well I cooked
it and uh you like I think that we can
freeze things forever you do like a
frozen sausage don’t you I do like a
frozen sausage yeah but I think fre I
don’t I don’t think we need to worry
about uh what the Frozen sausage no back
in the day remember when I was a kid you
sausage like like a lollipop a Meed
lollipop but um I think it’s um I think
we can freeze I wish the listeners could
have seen Jim’s reaction to that but I
quite Jim likes a frozen Double Decker I
love a frozen Double Decker watch your
teeth and then you’re away it it would
be very interesting to see if luki Mo
who is obviously a big pompy fan uh but
he’s also a big milky tea fan he is yes
he would make his tea milkshakes with
the Forbidden orange milk of of this
granddad’s um e Cup winning um milky
milky treat yeah well I think I think he
should put his milk his mou I’m guide
for him yeah well apparently he’s gone
too early but I understand why he’s done
it apparently the Grandad unfroze it
last week and the hope he could drink it
to celebrate Portsmouth ports promotion
Grandad don’t do it then I don’t
understand why he went that early yeah
surely you could it could be he could
unfreeze it in half an hour put it in a
bowl of water but you you can’t refreeze
it though can you so you’ve got to youve
got to time it so that it’s he’s a man
who seems to be a stickler for
storage correct storage of milk I mean
it is it is absolutely like why on Earth
is he going so early with that did you
um speaking of getting in the
championship did you see Markus that the
um the boiler man West Brom mascot has
been kicked out no I didn’t see that nor
more boiler man do you remember the West
Brom mascot I can’t remember com boiler
wasn’t he yeah he’s he’s a dancing comie
boiler I do remember he was uh I think
he tweeted out as many of you noticed
the mascot has not been out for a while
now and this is something that’s been
completely out of my control and I’m
unable to comment on the reasons why we
need to go deep diving on the boiler Man
story it seems an apt metaphor for the
energy crisis it is yeah there’s not
enough gas to cook me yeah I should say
that Pauls smouth are playing tomorrow
night I think the milk’s G to gone bad
by then I mean you’re looking at the
color of it it’s gone bad my advice to
to to the Grandad if if Portsmouth do
clinch promotion tomorrow night is drink
it drink it get it down you can’t do
that much harm it’s 2008 wasn’t that
long ago for go to& though to& drink it
there yeah and then and then if you’re
fine great if you’re not you’re in the
right place what you for I’m going to
drink this now um can I can I I hope
nothing happens to him Marcus before we
move on can I stick in a little bit of
um mascot chat because we obviously
spoke about the boiler man yes only
moments ago only moments ago uh got an
email from diny Outdoors uh what complet
compl waste of my time all I’ve been
listening to the ramble do your research
comes to mind oh you lot made a very
unfair and degrading comment about the
state of wolves mascot on the recent pod
have seen better days and could do with
a hot wash Donaldson is a disgrace to
football Wolfie and Wendy both got a
2024 makeer for having spent the last
while raising their Cub Wilfred being
new parents can be tough and yes they
were looking a bit tired but so would
you you insensitive
toss please issue a retraction and an
apology regards loyal wolves fan and
former ramble listener don’t back down
dou no I’m not backing down I’m double
ding starting to understand Morgan Gibbs
white now yeah they’ look raggedy I it’s
just it just it’s because their fur
looks like it’s got sick on it anyway I
just think you not heard a word the man
has just
said maybe it’s babysick I honestly I I
it really annoys me when I have to come
to Pete’s defense cuz I think to I’m
going to be indicted somehow but Pete’s
right though like if if a if a baby does
throw up on you it looks matted yeah if
if a baby does throw up on you obviously
that’s better but like by the third day
you should have washed that off yeah you
know I’m sorry I think that I think that
they could have put themselves in the
hot wash as it would be steam it steam
the Mas somebody or somebody at that
club help him out steam the wolf get
some get some um um disposable wet wipes
there don’t push plus them down the
toilet if you do that you’re a disgrace
bad week for masc
um at half time ganosa orus um throw up
has well he kids take penalties against
him and he saved the couple at the
weekend get out of the way they put they
buried the rebounds but that’s not the
point maybe he was trying to get out of
the way Jim I don’t know I don’t know we
should end like a comet we couldn’t miss
that [ __ ] could you no exactly uh we
should end with t rexam uh getting
promoted at the at the weekend nice
CL nice they beat forest green Rover 60
on Saturday to achieve promotion to
League one that’s how you do it pompy
yeah yeah yeah what a romantic story
massive cash injections that level their
second promotion is as many yeah but
it’s but it’s a it’s an actor it’s a
feel good story a couple of act a feel
good story and you have to like it I
have to like it and by Aviation gin have
you seen the did you see the reom
documentary you know you know it was a
lot of nice stuff on there lot nice
stuff on there much like the Newcastle
one yeah simar
is PL what would you rather Ryan
Reynolds talking about re
definitely Ryan or Amanda stavely yeah
what do she call everybody pet no that
would be too angel that’s right hello
angel how you doing
Angel has basically seen the Angel of
the North yeah fine day hello
Anthony cheers for watching another
fantastic clip from the Football Ramble
podcast make sure you click like on this
video And subscribe to the channel which
means you will not miss a single upload
[Music]
n