That Christmas Special x That Peter Crouch Podcast

In our last episode before the birthday of baby Jesus, Crouchy, Chris and Sids decide to throw a podcast Christmas Party – what could go wrong?

Adorned in their best festive gear, this Christmas special has everything you would expect from the lads including some very questionable secret Santa gifts, to cutting edge analysis of the festive fixtures.

We also hear about some of the less well known Christmas traditions enjoyed by certain teams in the PL as well as some outrageous antics involving a certain Les Ferdinand’s personal chopper and some questionable football driving skills.

Enjoy this extra special Christmas episode of That Peter Crouch Podcast!

Chumbawamba, ye filthy animals.

00:01 Intro
02:32 Football Clubs’ Traditions
08:00 Secret Santa
12:48 End of Year Awards
17:20 First Impressions
21:09 Football, Christmas, and Mentality
23:02 Player Preparation
26:14 Christmas Parties
32:28 Christmas Party Stories and Football
34:44 Smells Like Team Spirit
37:41 Teams’ Traditions
41:03 Christmas Bonus
44:44 Get to ze Chopper
48:50 Driving Me Nuts
57:26 Restaurant Performances
01:00:18 Staff Christmas Party
01:04:22 T’was the Night Before Christmas
01:07:08 Christmas Day Cooking Schedule

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Hello and welcome to that Peter Crouch podcast with me Peter Crouch Chris starken the notorious s idea with me it’s Chris it’s 5 days and this goes out 5 days till Christmas day um big fan of Christmas on the Pod we’re going a bit Christmas here we’ve gone with the

Jumpers I’ve G with the hat big fan of yours thank you yeah what are you making of the jumper as soon as I walked in I had jumper envy that is one of that’s one of the best jumpers I’ve ever seen yeah and it’s great because you can

Choose loads of different teams um I’ve got to describe it so it’s it’s kind of like festive takes on on famous football shirts long sleeve as well which is a nice touch superb it’s those guys I going to shout them out this isn’t advert or anything but I’m going to

Shout them out it’s the classic football shirts guys I don’t know if either of you have done that they’re the guys you know that own all the football shirts look round it’s the best sunre isn’t it I love we love a been Nostalgia on there so you got the Rondo Real Madrid

Shirt Christmas jumper yeah so good and on the front it says what does it Sayce lovely that’s great here the season for Christmas jumpers big fan of big fan of Christmas jumpers I know she got the puddings badge got put his massive badge that oh yeah so this is

The one like me and Sid are doing a lot of Europa League together at a minute like for TNT Sport I we I’ve got to get one I think we got to wear that on as if we’re kind of you know sometimes you have the badges on for various different

Reasons good causes I’ll give you one I’ve got loads all made up yeah I think we should wear them okay great dish them out well let’s do that so yeah this is a bit of a Christmas special this one um and by that I do just mean it’s the same

Podcast except we’re in Christmas jum and crouches in a Santa hat yeah I forgot I had that one actually can I just take that off now cuz I’m not actually that bothered about it being I think it served its purpose it’s a Christmas podcast and as such the idea behind it is reasonably

Christmas lazy as well but we’ll get away with it cuz it’s Christmas that’s that’s the theory everyone does don’t they everyone’s just rolling into Christmas now the focus is you know few drinks in the pub Christmas parties that kind of thing so yes from my understanding it’s going to be a few

Christmas stories this podcast anything sort of tenuously linked to Christmas as a topic counts today great with the football clubs as well like you know we lived for a period where it was okay to go out for Christmas and then we lived for a period

Towards the end where it was not it was seen as as as just a piss up um which obviously is but with it being tradition it was kind of with with with football clubs it was like why why is that a tradition when you could lose so many

Games around that period and Ru your whole season yeah you know what I mean Harry Harry’s way of looking at it was you’ve got you you paid very very well why don’t you just work as hard as you possibly can in the season and you can

Do what you like in the summer I don’t think the big teams can do Christmas parties now I think he’s got to be an inhouse one I agree the I think the lower the lower divisions they just still they still PL through yeah but how does it how does Christmas sort of set

Into the club we often talk about Christmas parties and I’m sure we’ll J some memories today of you two having Christmas parties in that but you know like at school where all the activities become we’re going to make uh Christmas cards today or we’re going to make Christmas posters it’s always posters

That kind of thing it starts to set in school did it ever happen with training so for example was goalkeeper in a Santa hat sort of thing or where did you have to sort of hit Rudolph or something do you know what I mean like what was there

Any sort of Christmas themes to training that started to creep I say themes as such but there was you’d always have someone that would come out in the Christmas hat or a jacket that would be one line around from a few years back in the kit man’s room but there was never

Any any themes it was I used to love trading Christmas day like that was one of my favorite days to go and train like no one else is on the road you drive out there nice and early you go and train the cold up with the lads it’s great you

Want introduce no I did but it was always the option wasn’t it so you can imagine you got a squad of 25 people so the manager would kind of go with the vibe of the dressing room so he would say look Lads Christmas Day some have got families some haven’t some have got

People family coming down from up north or abroad he would kind of say join to come in early and get it done wouldn’t he or he would say you want to come in late so have your Christmas day do presents in the morning that kind of

Thing and he would kind of put the omus oners what’s better what you prefer I it obviously all depended if you had a away game because if you had a away game you was traveling on the night anyway regardless so say for instance we had a home game on boxing day I would

Prefer to have got in straight away got in and normally the training was really quick wasn’t it everyone just starts off so quick it was like rapid rapid quick you could even probably get to a point where you could come in in your training kit with a pair of boots and get

Straight out go and train get back in your car and you’re gone as opposed to what what would you know as opposed to getting in your normal like go in the gym after get some treatment no one’s doing that yeah there was in and out like literally Clark K in

And out yeah because I guess a lot of the people that would normally be at the training ground working as well they’re not necessarily needed for the match day the next day right because they’re only doing the training ground it’s a shame they miss Christmas as well yeah weird

Like people that work on Christmas like there are people that working AR yeah in in some ways though you get to a point in Christmas day where you want that escape and actually the idea of having a job which means you can escape in the afternoon it feels a bit like the dream

I I used to I used to really enjoy that yeah but not I mean I there’s me saying I wanted to come in the morning I did but so I’d miss some of the presents but that was part and parcel of not my presence obviously the kids but that was

Part and parcel of the job but would you do presents amongst the players not on Christmas Day we wouldn’t no would you get the manager a present no I used to get I did used to get all the uh staff to be fair but you wouldn’t get the

Manager why why would that be that’s justed yeah get I wouldn’t I wouldn’t get none of the um immediate staff so I wouldn’t get like the assistant manager or the coach I’d get like canteen staff or I’d make sure you get the boys get a whip round and um and look after them

But I wouldn’t get the manager one no a nice one know getting having a whip round for for like the the kit men M all them yeah the the kitchen staff older boys will have a big kind of wh around for them at Christmas yeah yeah definitely I think I only ever

Done one I have all the dress rooms I was in one secret santa only one so who did you get I got a young lad just give him what what were you given do you remember you just gave money you can’t do that that’s like the golden rule of secret stand you just

Cashed him off cash someone else Cas off keep him quiet the limit is 20 is you unrap a 20 I almost did that today to be honest we are doing the secret s in a bit just secret I’m not sure secret is going to be your most stereotypical Christmas that it’s

Already there three of us need to be anonymous who why you going to do that then well because you were meant to have bought something meaning before You’ got something on you we’ve all got busy weeks mate yeah yeah I did I I’ve got something yeah tell the truth what happened when

Crouchy turned up today well I we were sitting here wasn’t we and uh you was tucking into your um unofficial chicken burger yeah and uh I see a big Shadow walk in and then literally Sprint upstairs you see me so where’s the Big Bang going and uh 50 minutes after that georg’s phone

Goes and you know the on that you know the conversation and uh it’s probably clear to see that you uh you walked in see us having Christmas jumpers on I was empty-handed when he was empty-handed and then thought [ __ ] there’s a secret Stander as well so on The Concourse of

Watero looking in accessorized PR in the mall where did you go the mall the woman in accessoriz it’s like what on Earth are you doing in it like I’m looking for a jumper I almost bought the one it was two sizes too small but um yeah I went

For this one it seems yeah so you secured the jumper uh where where’d you get the jumper from uh from fat Face cuz the thing is right on that Concourse there’s not loads of different shots yeah yeah so like the people will see me rushing around I might as well give you your present now since do you want to do the secret center now in a it’s not very

[ __ ] yeah obviously there wasn’t many options so there’s last minute and there’s last minute isn’t there that was last minut so so how this really has been to work is we’ve we’ve each been texted who we’re buying for right and we’re just me to put them on the table

Are we yeah but I mean I think it’s already sort of messed up so so should we just say who we were got for and do it like that there’s no point keeping well it’s kind of obvious isn’t it as well cuz I knew I was getting for this

Person and and I know that that person can’t get back for me because no one can get you okay so who did you get well I got yourself you you’ve you’ve got me I’ve got you crouchy all can I can I I’ll give these to let’s get Pete out

The way obviously this is so is three for three for the price of one that’s why you’ve got three three of them but um 202 wait there wait there so basically it’s a minc pie and I know he likes puddings he loves socks I love that so I

He loves puddings he loves socks again uh staying on the pudding theme uh I know he loves cars and puddings so so puddings pudding so there’s there’s a truck there and a pudding on it and both of them are in your size actually but they didn’t have these in obviously I he

Said look pick it another one I said there’s no pudding on really going to work and but um so these aren’t in your size cuz they W in your size these are six but there’s s playing a guitar um in not your size hey s I’m going to

Wear these I am I’d love these I might even try and put these ones on size six so yeah what really thoughtful that well so you’re I mean you’re not going to get cold feet this year because I saw these and I thought of you from from m& um yeah lovely lovely

Sers they socks they fleece lining socks oh yeah they’re really good they be loving no problem no problem that’s that’s really nice that no worries ages well I’ve not wrapped mine no well listen so so is yours is wrapped so it feels more intriguing so should we hold

It for a second okay because mine mine is um for you Pete here and after you’ve been on a bit of a crusade against um well you’re gluten skeptic aren’t you I’m yeah gluten intolerant I um you’re you’re intolerance gluten intolerance and if you don’t know what

This is about you have to catch up on another episode but what I did is I think this would be interesting to is I’ve bought you uh a gluten intolerance test so we can see if you yourself are in fact intolerant to gluten wow that is thinking that’s actually really is it

Yeah and then we can deliver the results maybe and do you know what i’ I’d actually like to be if I’m if it goes positive yeah and I have I know it’s load of bollocks but it’ be good to know wouldn’t it good to know do is do you

Have to send that off results in 15 minutes we could do the test now let do it now oh yes I mean I mean what more do you want from a podcast than the live allergy test by the end of this podcast we will find out if Crouch is in fact gluten

Intolerant this next part of the podcast is sponsored by Brew doog so what have we got left to round off the year loads of pressure here we need a good beer and a few lasts to go with it uh don’t worry Chris uh Rick and Ryan’s got that sorted

For us um just a case of seeing what the listeners have got lined up so we take that second bit I’m a big fan of the the voice notes I have to say yeah it’s good yeah totally should we get into one of Ryan’s uh voice notes here he sent it to

Me I’ve got it right here do you want to ever listen here we go hello and for the final time this year crouchy Chris notorious Sid it is Ryan here can I just say that before with you guys spend a little bit of time with you has been one of the B’s

Been on the last few of ab milking it no it’s it’s great news yeah got really pleased for him but the baby’s like three now you sound like Roy ke but it was great news a while ago Ryan but listen we’s going great big love to

Sunny yeah love him to pieces but you know stop milking it now all time highlights my brog career so thank you from the bottom of my heart he’s being nice we are taking things back to where it all began this week for both Brew dog and for me serving you the

Beers and it’s time to enjoy en jooy a beautiful pint of punk IPA as I’m sure you all remember cuz you were all definitely paying attention way back then we’re dealing with a 5.4% IPA with a light and hoppy taste there’s this real burst of flavors going on some caramel tropical fruit

Grapefruit and pineapple so whilst you enjoy the beer the last question from me and we’ll keep it nice and simple who has been your punk of the Year cheers guys mine’s Rono Sullivan um year yeah just watch his dock really good uh someone that doesn’t really give two Hoots whether he wins

Loses um and an absolute Maverick unbelievable stat from him like the youngest player to ever win it and the oldest like so that you Spann 30 years of of quality at a top level and I think I think he probably gets underrated because he’s um Snookers not golf or you know basketball

Or football mate I think you make a very good point people like David Bryant right I say David Bryant neither of you probably know who that is he’s one of the greatest lawn balls players of all time is he really is he really he genuinely is genuinely is

Brilliant I mean I didn’t know him I you know but you don’t hear him in a conversation with Messi you don’t but what I’m saying is you should if you pick all the players out what we should do is have a dinner this is what I’m

Saying right we should have all the best players from every single sport of all time right you got Michael Jordan you know Messi uh Tiger Woods Roger fedra David Bryant David Bryant you laugh this is Gen what we’re trying to get out here is some sports

Don’t get the same weight behind when we have conversations about the greatest sports person of all time these are incredible stories across different sports you’re still laughing serious I just I didn’t know David Bryan was no I think we’re looking for more of a punk style character

Though aren’t we that’s really what this conversation is we go withan as well honorable to Julian dicks who I think is quite a punk player uh he came on a podcast yes and he was brilliant um my one of my favorite ones was when we we

Gave him a sip of these Bears on this on this brog bit here and he just not for me though and I thought was quite Maverick of him he could have just said yeah that’s all right that but he went absolutely not for me which I quite like actually I say you

Want Julian dicks to be yeah say how it is it wasn’t for him yeah okay so uh if you’re going to award one award there who are we saying Julian dicks will mention to to D but I think we’ll give it to Ronnie give it Ronnie I mean Ronnie’s great for me we

Go with Ronnie DB’s up there but Ronnie just Pips it it’s been good handing out these end of year Awards it’s been quite a nice way to sort of sum up the year it’s been a really fun year we had some amazing shouts coming in from listeners

Uh boys I believe we’ve got one last voice note to listen to for the year and all I’m told is it’s from an old friend of the Pod are you ready ing here we go hey guys grae here I thought I can think of a few Awards my friend should

Be nominated for this year um I think in this submission I’m going to nominate myself for my Shar impr Shar guy oh gr no yeah said gram I was like it’s the sharan GU fell yeah he is amazing please tell me he’s got another song Chris well I’m looking

At his voice note there’s still a good sort of 40 seconds to go so I’m hoping so thank God I’m G up pie we can knock it down my words have too meaning there one thing on my mind it’s all for you it’s dark and a cold December keep me Warm keep you sh I’m out of I’m out of love I’ll pick you up when you’re getting down and after all these things wow god wow grae [ __ ] [Laughter] me why don’t we like why don’t we make early next year boost spirits and all that let’s get him out on the street

Let’s get him busking but like four us we bring him bring him here or something right yeah and I have to say we’ve had hours of entertainment this year VI all the list of voice notes not just gram um the videos and messages you’ve left for us on social have been unbelievable

Thanks to everyone who got involved for all those who joined us for a point and W a crate uh hopefully enjoyed them yeah and for everyone else if you want to enjoy a sip of punk IPA like we’re doing right now just head over to brw do.com

Where new customers can get 15% off using the code Crouch 15 at checkout so just type that in when you get to check out Crouch 15 and cheers everyone what a year it’s been cheers boys cheers Che Cheers Cheers welcome back everyone oh yeah that thing goes well as I’d

Hoped is still trying yeah the kit itself has come with um where did you get this from ordered it online um the thing to actually make crouchy bleed I’m aware that people some people aren’t good with blood so um but yeah the thing that we’re trying to do

To get the sample which we could then have has failed and Sid is trying to fix it but it doesn’t look like it’s happening so I think what you’re going to have to do is do this at home and then we’ll to come back with the results

Of this we’ll be back strong with that next week lovely thought though mate appreciate that yeah as long as you do it it’s broken now isn’t it yeah but that’s just for the that’s just to get some a sample from you so you could do

That in oh right so if I keep that yeah then I know you got to be really careful obviously when you do this sort of stuff but yeah um the test has failed okay [ __ ] sake I mean that it was a lovely thought mate just got some two in there

As well we’ve [ __ ] it both and then Sid’s got my secret Center yeah which I’m absolutely buzzing about and you’ve wrapped it I’ve wrapped that myself yeah did you did you wrap it yourself of course did yeah of course I don’t nicely wrapped I’ve kept the receipts so if you

Don’t don’t like it you can uh you can take it back just checking for money or something what this absolutely amazing oh it’s a wrong is it it’s a wrong it’s amazing oh wow it’s chain on it wow with chain you find that it’s got a rock

Chain on it a rock look at that oh we we me and you have got to wear the same thing W they I just thought let’s bring it back let’s bring it back 100% you know you you digging the look then uh great I think it will

Suit you one of my favorite looks of Steve Sidwell this year has been him and a roll neck look really Steve Jobs we’ve talked about it before and uh we were talking about my one experience in a roll neck which it was kind of a disaster but yeah mate thank you so much

I look forward to wearing that great just send us a pick of that Christmas day I will Christmas Day bring this back to uh to football and and Christmas and that sort of Time how important is it for your mentality to be say how does it differ with being top at Christmas like

It’s often seen as a goal isn’t it but really the season has got so much longer left of it but Christmas seems seem to be this kind of Hump that you want to get over and and it’s still a tangible aim even though there is no trophy or

Any anything that really but how big is that from a mentality point of view of a player I think there’s loads of there’s loads of uh stats backing up the fact that if you come out the Christmas period top like there’s not many that that lose it and obviously there are you

Know anomalies but most of the time you if you’re top around that time I think you’re I mean it’s a good time to be top in it I think you come once you come out period it’s like you get rid of all the kind of pretend if you like I heard Roy

Keane say the other day you know you get there’s a few Pretenders and then you come out the Christmas period and they fall away and and then you see who’s really like going for the title and quite often it’s a two or race but this this [ __ ] feels like it could be three

Yeah which would be which would be great I I going back on my career I think every near enough every December year is probably the first checkpoint the manager as the meeting where he sits you down and says boys nine games in four weeks we he sort of addresses the squad

As it we need everyone in the room makes it feel like everyone’s going to take part everyone’s going to get some game time live correctly you’re obviously going to have probably a Christmas party admitted but this is an element where we if we come through this we’re going to

Put ourselves into the new year on a good front like on the front foot in a good vein of form but I think December’s always the first checkpoint where they hit you with it do you have one eye on the January transfer window as well like does Christmas become a time where

You’ve got to prove yourself because you know that actually there is a sort of lingering threat potentially of who could be bought in depends where you are like like if you’re like you might be flying uh you know potentially people looking at you for a move in in January

Or you know you might not be playing and you have the opportunity like if you if you do play a couple of games to to to move on again in January yeah you’ve got to keep yourself ready haven’t you for all the kind of transfer Windows if

You’re in that if you’re in that position it’s kind of a routin isn’t there you sort of December the buildup to Christmas then you got the the quick games over Christmas then the first week in Jan is always FA Cup weekend isn’t it love that so you always look forward to

That all the British Lads do the foreign Lads just get on with it and then it’s kind of then after that then it kind of calms down a bit but and then but then the January windows open already by then and that’s when it hits you it’s like

[ __ ] well literally the last six weeks have flown by so it’s quite it’s quite it goes quick because you have so many games yeah I mean so from December 4th to January 11th literally just flies by so you hit this intense time have you ever been part of a team that sort of

Going into Christmas it’s gone in Reverse so you go into Christmas and you sort of Fairly good results and that and you’ve actually been as Roy ke might say a pretender and you’ve Fallen away at Christmas and it’s had that detrimental effect on your season yeah I’ve had that

Before um and it’s there actually nothing worse it’s a [ __ ] nightmare like and then there’s a few times where you’re you’re kind of out out of the cups and stuff that you know you’re like around around kind of November time you have a little break away it’s November

Is it when you have that November last International breaks November yeah yeah like November so you might get a little trip away and it’s one of those Dubai trips the Sam allise West Ham trips and you know you probably might have had a bit of fun out there as well uh and then

You come back going into straight into the Christmas period And if you don’t perform and you’ve had that trip like the pressure’s on because you know you want it you want to do it again CU it’s fun but like the owners and the you know people that have paid for that trip

If you come back and go start losing every game around Christmas it can kill your season yeah and you’re like well hold on a minute what the hell are you doing in that [ __ ] warm weather trip yeah you know what I mean it it becomes kind of like more pressure to perform

But we haven’t discussed your team Christmas parties really I don’t yet on this podcast we had a few I was on the back of that we had that at Chelsea when I was there we we wasn’t having a great time at that at that particular time in

At Christmas so we had an in-house one at Stanford Bridge with with the wives fancy dress um and fancy dress with the wives yeah is that is that an odd Vibe do you think like calling that I think it is I mean I’ve never I’ve never done

A football one with the wives That’s what I mean so even stranger then to have fancy dress thrown I think it was just a thing that we can’t really be seen in the press out as Lads at Chelsea because the profile of people being seen

Yeah we was never going to go away so if we have one and we can have it in House at Stanford Bridge we’re not trying to have a Lads one so it was like right I don’t know whose idea it was to bring the Miss sounds a bit [ __ ] if one um I

Mean look different it was it was different Vibes it was still good I mean look but you have to we was there I mean I went as a chicken um h a chicken what was your misses she went as uh I think she went as like [Laughter]

A ahead of the curve was ahead of the curve she she went as um I think like a superwoman or something like like a sexy Superwoman was there competition did you I don’t know if you and your wife talked about this was the competition between the wives about cuz fancy dress gets

Interesting I find often with girls it say Halloween it’s always got be sexy rather than I think the lads couldn’t give a [ __ ] I mean JT win’s Mr M JT and um Tony Winn’s Mr Incredible and M is incredible seen the picture of yeah yeah uh I mean Ashley Cole turned up as

Batman with Cheryl Cole’s Catwoman stop It for full PVC or Leever whatever it was but but like you could have hear a pin drop could hear a pin drop was there was there like a big entrance was it no I think they arrive late because I think like C’s C but I’m imagining you for the I’m imagining

Delboy and Rodney you know when they go into that room but just it all goes quiet yeah yeah I mean she looked fantastic yeah and he he looked great he um we had DJ spoony he was DJing you see this is good now it was good you

Know what there’s actually a video I’ve got a video of uh of spoony he actually come as the DJ he come fancy dress as well he come in like an oldfashioned golfer so with a high socks flat cat with a golf bag pencil with like a

Pencil golf bag and some clubs so when we was leaving I don’t know what time we finish 1 2: in the morning we had to leave via the pitch so we had to go down from the venue one of the boxes or Hospitality Suites Down The Concourse

Through the onto the pitch and then walk around the pitch and I said to Spoons can you get a golf ball he got any golf balls in the bag he yeah I said can you from one end to the other this is Pitch Black by the way and just with the

Remember the lights that go on the pitch to get the grass to grow yeah the flood lights so you could just about see the goal at the far end and I said can you sling a ball through that goal and he was like I’ll give it a go obvious he

Was sober and he dropped this ball down and I videoed it and I swear I’ve sent it to him and he’s he zinged this for ran and it just went imagine this he like 2: in the morning him and he just hit this ball I’m videoing behind him

And he hit this ball he’s just gone like a rocket and it just went through the goal through the goal from one into the other the one of the best shots I’ve ever seen and it made a racket like yeah it and I sent the video to him

Brilliant so that was in the house one basically at Chelsea so that was just going off on to the big one there’s something to be said for that though the idea of an empty stadium and getting run of an empty Stadium what you’d actually do like I think you’ve done the right

Thing there cuz has has anyone ever done that hit a golf ball from one side to the other I wouldn’t say anyone’s even I don’t think it’s Stanford Bridge it might have done when the when the when the cars were parted behind the go was long long no I don’t I don’t think

Anyone’s done that have they yeah amazing Sid they all the history on that football pitch and Sid Sid has seen something that no one’s ever seen on that pitch DJ spy pinging a for iron to the other but that’s the beauty of the Christmas party isn’t it that’s the sort

Of thing that com from and and also if you work in an iconic venue right anything from the Royal Albert Hall to a football stadium to I don’t know any like literally any but you get run of the place for your Christmas party you want to do something with it there’ll be

Stories out there you yeah I remember we went at Liverpool we went to uh to to Aldo’s bar remember John Aldridge bar yeah do seen the photo of Steve Gerard when he walked in with the and he was an old man yeah yeah moped though was that

Had had Mobility scil he had this mask that he had on was so good that he said there all like paps outside there all like photographers so when we were walking down it was um you know they were getting everyone’s outfits whatever and everyone was in the paper but he uh

He came in and the photographers helped him in and didn’t they just thought he was an old man he was that good we had that at Brighton we paid Birmingham city away Glen Mur a last minute winner on the Friday night and we’re going to Manchester for our Christmas party

Gaffas give us the green light okay so you’re going straight from the game straight from the game coach separate coach to Manchester so team coach is going back yeah and there was a few that jumped on that team coach because the Christmas party isn’t for everyone is it no no no

No I mean the foreign boys don’t understand it at all but even some of the English Lads few them some it just doesn’t just doesn’t tick their box they have to it’s a fine if you don’t go pretty huge fine that’s incredible isn’t it it’s just turn up for you know even

For the meal don’t have to you know do anything else yeah but if it’s in Manchester if you’re going from Birmingham to Manchester that’s a big ass just to go for dinner so then have to travel probably back pay the fine yeah pay the fine for that so we went to

Manchester and we went out on the Saturday we went out Friday went out Saturday and then we had fancy dress on the Sunday and uh it was Arsenal Man City in Manchester as well and we was a bar and uh we was in a bar and there was a

Lot of Arsenal fans in this in this bar watching obviously just come up couldn’t get a ticket for the game in Manchester and there’s all last lot fancy dress and I went as like a rocker so I had like a big long black wig um like uh faded

Jeans ripped jeans ripped t-shirt um like a Nero Smith kind of vibe blow up guitar what was the theme like rockstar rockar I got rockar I no I got Rockstar it was an alphabet alph it’s a different theme different letters yeah and uh these Arsenal fans recognize me I have no idea

How and then they was like in this middle of this Pub Sidwell is auna cu obious coming through Arsenal’s Academy and the whole place went down like went quiet and it was like Sidwell give us a song and this is in like a weather spoons in Manchester so I’ve literally

I’ve had to I’ve shushed everyone sh got up on this stall and what did I sing I sung um I sung uh I sung Who to who to be who to be a Goa and the whole place erupted went crazy all these Arsenal fans start singing this song God I can sort of

Imagine it yeah a bit cringe s good it was a bit cring it does sound good so you know you know the Stanford Bridge Christmas party so you so you’ve you’ve done the golf ball thing yeah so then did you have a team Christmas party no just that Christmas

Party that yeah that year that was yeah yeah better to be in house though I just think like like Harry said it kind of It kind of puts under s pressure on you and I think now you don’t really see it now do you like let’s be honest there was

There was teams letting themselves down left right and Center you know back in the day wasn’t there yeah you know and it went from the stage in the 90s where it was totally fine get away with it and then it got to kind of 2000s was touch

And go it got like 2010 kind of around that time early 2000s you could still do it could it’s mad that Christmas feels like a storm you’ve got the weather as a footballer yeah exactly right that on so you know when he said about Leicester and it working well we add that read

Into you know when we went up with 106 points the record for the championship we won 10 on the bounce over Christmas 10 games on the bouns wow that’s 30 points we picked up did you have a good Christmas party so we went to Newcastle

And two of the so we went to Newcastle the weekend two of The Lads or three of The Lads actually didn’t come back they stayed up and they missed training Monday and Tuesday and Tuesday yeah and they fell in love they they was obviously single they were single they

Fell in love and they stayed up there and then three of them fell in love that as if it was really romantic they fell in love you know what when love happens you don’t know like just got go with it three of them fell in love three reading players in love

Said romance was dead well they were and I’m sure they were being totally romantic I can just imagine all three of them there unbelievable they they stayed up this is in the middle this is this was in the middle of our run by the way and uh the

Gaffer was you know he take it SW Steve CLE yeah and uh how he take them calling love and not reporting from training quite a disciplinarian I’m sure I’m sure that they they started the next game and we won again so it was kind of just brushed under the

Carpet everything helps you know when you’re winning games it’s just everything you know that’s what I mean you getting the points so you can’t argue and if love strikes then you just can’t what an amazing um seasons for them you know record points you know they fa in love three three people found

Love in a hopeless place unbelievable Newcastle do and it’s the city of love and it for me it was it hard to get them back from from the city it’s like we know B bck got now new car well what I couldn’t gather is right what did they do on Monday Tuesday

People went to work I surely they must have just what were they doing there just bring it off wow I dread to think I’m sure given that they were in love it would have been just like the most in incredibly romantic things that the city

Could I think they went to the races I think on a Monday night I think races was on two I know why F’s in love I mean why not leave them to it but it’s just the idea that one of them’s turned around to the other and gone I think I’m in love

And the other one’s gone I think I’m in love may someone say love I can’t believe it I’m in love too I me I think the first one was like [ __ ] it I ain’t going home that’s what it was and then the other one was like

Well if you’re stay I’m going to stay cuz I’m in love and then the other one went or if you if you two are going to stay then I’ve got license to say yeah so fair enough what a team numers that reading team you know what I wish there

Was an All or Nothing on that ring trip not on the whole season it’s like that was amazing I remember I remember you absolutely banging in goals for fun like that little that little point I remember you scoring like world is as well like absolute 30 yarders top bins yeah it

Continued that you it continued that that team spirit I think I’ve said it before we went to Marb twice in March cuz we was already up by April so we went in March and April but you’ve got the famous invincibles right did you ever have a nickname the lotharios that’s what you

Were the covas the Covis that’s what it was what year year was it 2006 yeah so so you got the O the 056 Covas invincibles cast no but like that’s still the record is it still the record yeah so whatever they’re doing right it’s yeah BR and we we’ve got three women in Newcastle somewhere unless they’ve moved on to thank for that part AIG chunk of the team is it helps you

Mean it helps Well it can’t it didn’t hinder definitely not it didn’t hinder and it can sometimes can’t it what love love love can hinder I’m sure you’ve seen good players fall fall away due to love it can Galvanize and it can destroy I think but these three come back

Stronger yeah literally yeah great good for them um you know we’re talking about how football and Christmas talking we know how football and Christmas in a weird kind of way they they they have to coexist but they don’t necessarily blend together very well because at Christmas

Time you might be taken away from your family you can’t enjoy the normal Christmas festivities but yet football clubs are still trying to do Christmas parties the manager still trying to allow certain things but there’s still Christmas traditions that seem to exist as well uh have you heard heard the Fergie story

What the Panton yeah I’ve heard I’ve heard from the players yes have you from the play’s mouth yeah I wasn’t aware of this so under Fergie um the Fergie Manchester United youth players would put on a panto every year uh it was reported that one year Nanny got the

Hump because in the panto one of the youth players had a nanny shirt on uh with a dog lead and was being dragged around by a youth player playing Ronaldo so it’s almost like the it was like a pan it was been done for you guys entertainment to make fun of they kind

Of take the piss out the first too far yeah yeah yeah I think it did a few times but um yeah I remember I remember them once they had to uh the young Lads had to basically come in to a bar as if

It was a bar but it was a training R and and and in front of all the first team players you got Kane you know KS skulls you know van St Rooney whatever you know all the players are sitting there watching imagine how nervous you are as

A young lad you come in and one of the lads is there sitting on a stool and they have to come in and do the best chat lines in front of everyone yeah so then and then they have to dance as if like they’ she wants to

Dance with them and then they show them like your moves and things like that so this was just sort of festive entertainment for the players yeah you can’t you can’t get away with that now I don’t know I don’t think you you can’t get away with that now no but I guess if

We’re calling it under the spirit of team bonding you know if everyone’s consenting and it was a fun thing to do that’s that’s what I’m assuming from this it was a good you know it’s little panto well I go see my kids do pant I was I wasn’t there I wasn’t there but

Like you know that’s what I mean it’s out there anyway so they they used to do the pant M but yeah some of it sounded funny some it was very ruthless right okay when when you was a youth team player did you um CU you scared [ __ ] the

Sky in the first te just yeah no no what I’m saying is Well at Christmas time that was when you’d get your Christmas bonus wouldn’t it for clean boots so I think my year or the year after was one of the last years to clean the first the

First team player boots so Christmas you’d have to go down to the dressing room and uh and get your money and I remember at Arsenal they made a stand on the box it was snowing one year and they made a stand on a box outside in the

Snow they’re loing snowballs at us and get to sing Christmas carols one like one of us at a time just really it there’s a bit of a kind of initiation vibe to it yeah just to get 60 quid yeah might matter like what what did you get

About 60 quid I think um my first year I got 60 quid and then uh the second year cuz I think on the first year apparently some people got more than others uh due to the the player whoever it was uh being tight or not tight and rumor was

That s Campbell would just give his lad a 20 20 pound note so it was all come on top and uh the first team had to put in the kitty in the and that got then distributed so so I think the second year we got probably got

100 well so all the players were chipping and it was equally split yeah okay so it wasn’t like the players find money it was like a whip around for the GU back in the day used to be like up to the players discretion so you obviously everyone wanted to get Les Les ferdan

Used to used to be I think it’s like 150 200 Quin like big one yeah so Les is obviously like top man right Le look after the young lad but I remember I had David janola David H G me 60 quid pretty early on but then David janola didn’t

Didn’t give me any cash so I just I had to pul as say uh he’s he’s not sort of yeah and obviously I don’t want to be that person I feel like an American I mean Americans in restaurants go like you haven’t given any a tip they get quite angry about it

But it’s like in in this country we kind of just swallow it don’t you can you just talk me through play byplay that conversation it’s like you must have been nervous before I went through I went through like loads of everyone was talking about they kept

Coming in with all their cash and I was [ __ ] David’s the best player in the league at the minute surely can spare me 40 quid I think did you try and hint towards him at all Did you sort of say like no you know when you like go going

In with his clean boots like around Christmas and they were impeccable around that time and like they the big grin is your boots David here they are like presenting them and uh thank you for ages and then you he didn’t know the I don’t think he knew the kind of

Routine what we do so then you had to go and have a conversation with les I think I think the conversation kind of got brought up because lley was quite tight was he was around the first team so lley kind of was my mate was around at that

Time would have been so would have been still been at Tottenham um and and I think I was with lley so I felt a bit braver and I was like uh Les you know David hasn’t got got give me a tip or anything he’s like hustled out and then

Next day it was happying New Year actually wasn’t happy Christmas cuz it was January yeah so he gave me 60 quid 60 quid the G rate by his hands of it back in the day back in those days I think yeah back talking I’m talking that

Was about 98 99 yeah yeah I great story on celes not Christmas story so he was at reading um back end of his career and he was still living in up the North in Manchester around there and he had a helicopter license and it yeah we played

On a Saturday and we was in on a Sunday cuz we had a game on the Monday I think it’s that bank holiday weekend where it’s a Saturday Monday game isn’t there in April crazy in the championship it still exists now I think is it Saturday Monday it’s crazy yeah yeah sounds about

Right so um we was in on we was in on a Sunday so we’ve come in on the Sunday Les has com in his Chopper cuz he we we must have played up north on the Saturday he stayed he’s brought his Chopper in landed it got out got in got

Changed got his boots on we’re going out we’re doing little warm up we’ve got the circle going steward come over old Geer Les sorry sorry Les um can you can you move your helicopter please so he’s gone what’s up can you move your helicopter please as he looked around he he said

The kids can’t kick off cuz you parked on the pitch so there’s kids right and parents around this pitch right imagine like little kids 9year old helicopter they’ve come out as a chopper there so I swear he in his boots he run over got in there obviously had to move

People back and he literally put the chopper up went over and parked it on the other side of the pitch and then got back out and then car train that’s so the coolest thing I’ve ever heard that yeah but you know what like I I because

I’ve seen it I was at Tottenham and uh Les came and he it was TR old Spurs Lodge you had the the training ground you got loads of pitures at front but if you go down the steps and down through the car You’ got one pitch on it own

That that actually where I used to play my te games but that one pitch on wasn’t in use so e landed his helicopter in there once right and then he was going like do you want to come up in it and like the fo I think Robbie Keane a few

Lads just went up went up in his in the helicopter like just little whiz round and then back down again on the training ground I was like I just don’t I don’t know why but I don’t trust like if I get in a helicopter with someone I don’t

Know I trust them more than I would trust Les Ferdinand M and and that’s weird because I know Les and I should trust the person you know more than the person I don’t know no I get it but I was like you’re Les F you’re a center

Forward you score goals you don’t fly don’t you don’t fly helicopters that’s why I couldn’t get my head round I think you can be brilliant at football um but you’re right to be suspicious about how good you are at flying a helicopter yeah like like for instance if I said right

No I’ve got my license would you go out there now I’ll tell you what’s weird I can’t even take helicopters out of it I can’t imagine either of you driving really I can’t imagine being in the car watching you drive driving a car driving a car I’d find it well with really

Yeah you having said that though because I’ve been in a car with him right and he’s actually very good driver Wonder know I wonder about you I’ve never seen you in a car are you are you a backseat driver I’m a good driver no I the thing

Is I the thing is cuz I I know I’ve been in a car with him but I’ve never been in a car with you I’ve never been in a car with either of you I don’t think driving have I been in a car with we’ve been in

The car like the back seat of the car remember we R down Oxford Circus that time that was good that was good basically we’re in a load of traffic down Oxford Street we need to get to some or something so we’re in suits and uh Crouch’s made the call he’s

Gone we’re we’re not getting anywhere in this car we’ll just run to the this Awards like a 10 minute run on Google Maps and sure enough get out of the car puts his hat on I’m running behind I thought this one of the maddest [ __ ] experiences of my life just running down

Regents stre all the way down reg Street did you make it in suits we did actually yeah I was knackered but so back to the car thing though I there’s something a bit unusual about it and I think might be your s’s um thing as well in that

It’s kind of like I look at you two as phenomenal footballers right for some reason I get a Vibe you’d both be [ __ ] at driving cars really yeah what do you think i’ be we’d be bit Reckless maybe is that just like there’s just something a bit you like sort of

Feeding the wheel through your hands kind of thing like I don’t know you’re you’re a feeder of the wheel 100% no you’re two you’re two hands on the wheel 100% you’re a twoand are you a double hander you think I’m a to ear now I think you’ll be one of those that’s always

Like like but cuz you’re used to it with the football you’re used to sort of like this awareness and sort of I don’t know did you get that VI I’m a twoand who George that’s really interesting isn’t it I think quite looking at someone and thinking cuz I

We’ve talked about this before like well you I think you can look at someone and say if that you and know if they’re a Messi or Ronaldo man like I look at him and I know he’s a Ronaldo man you know what I mean like like looks like you

Know what I mean it’s weird you just know yeah whereas there’s nothing wrong with having two hands on the wheel I should point out as well but it’s just how you should drive but I’m saying crouchy I kind of see it as like what

Would it be 9 and three 10 is it 10 10 to two thank you yeah 22 see he even knows that one you can go under like 20 22 four five you know what he does when he pulls out he does his observations all around so it’s like mirror mirror

Indicator I can’t believe you got me down like that do you put your handbrake on FL do you put your handbrake on dve in check your mirrors mirror signal maneuver that one as well like get the fight down I think if you had to RSE believe

You got if you had to reverse you’d give me the EG you’d be one of those with the arm around the seat and I’ll be there going I can’t believe this listen it’s unfair that I’ve see him drive can’t believe you I tell you what you’d be good at you’d

Smash the hazard perception test but you’d over click you’d be one of those that is like you’d be so focused reviewing everything as a hazard this is what I mean you’d be you’re technically you’re technically a driving instructor’s wet dream you’re brilliant you you passed your test first time but

It’s all through like correct technique and so you think I’m still I’m going out there at the moment and you think like I’m I’m too like I’m by the book I think if it’s like a right hand turn we’re going to be at that Junction for [ __ ]

Hours I’m going to be going just just go just go and you’ll go no no I can’t believe I can’t he’s coming for I think he’s coming for you I think he’s deflecting def I’m hiding right can I ask you a question yeah from the man your normal

Routine Monday to Sunday do you drive more than you get driven uh well I don’t drive yeah I I don’t drive into work daily yeah so you get driven more yeah me yeah but I drive no [Laughter] Steve all right well let’s let’s in there let’s get a let’s book a racing

Circuit wait all right I I’ll I’ll smash it no I will be you I’m not saying you’re a bad driver I’m saying you’re a brilliant driver but just but you think I’m too I’m too cautious yeah I think I think we should do a goting day that would testing it’s testing the

Wrong thing I almost feel like what we should all do is do our driving test we should do a driving test right yeah but in your opinion like I win that I’d score higher but then but then I’d make everyone ill by the way I don’t know what the test is cuz it’s

Almost like what we need to do is like a wife swap situation so they can all experience what it’s like to be driven by a different person that be a test cuz yeah you know is do you look in your mirrors every 4 seconds that’s what I’m

I look in my mirrors a lot yeah cuz that’s what I’m saying I should I just imagine his head just constant like can’t believe this and if you it’s like if someone look to your left you know how some people just look unnatural driving I can

Imagine someone being in the car next to you being like there crouchy and you’re there and it’s just like really focused you know when you see someone at the wheel right you know when you see somethingone at the wheel you are rock compl Wrong by the way but you know you

See someone you look and you Like and they are so close the wind screen’s there and they’re like pushed right up and like and their eyes are so open way I think it’s celebrities though I think if you imagine celebrities driving or if you see a celebrity driving out in the wild it looks weird man doesn’t it

Do you think well name us name any celebrity and imagine them driving it’s odd yeah if we you when you [ __ ] like that yeah didn’t the queen drive when she was alive yeah till late she didn’t she she’d be in the Range Rover and that she around Bal Morrow I think

But it’s on the grounds I mean still still it’s like like down in the M40 is what I’m saying have you ever seen someone famous Drive uh really good question have you ever pulled up at the lights I did it with Roy Keane didn’t I

Saw Roy Keane didn’t I I was in an Aston Martin oh yeah yeah remember I told that I told that story yeah and he looked at me and I I was I I had the whole speed Garage on all that was like oide neutrino W the window down and all that

I was having myself massively Roy Keane pulled up and that was G me a look didn’t he I think you think you’re a good driver does um yeah who’s because I think also there’s a there’s a thing that being a footballer means you should be a good

Driver cuz you should be cool and it’s fast cars and all that but you must have footballers statistically most your team must be terrible drivers like they must be just you know why though why are because um you can’t all footballers can’t be good drivers you know the the insurance

For a footballer right when I was trying to get my first car like I was 17 you know uh lived in London and I’m a footballer the insurance was just ridiculous it was like right where you can buy nice cars yeah it was like three times the amount was it three times like

My mat yeah I’m doing three times what my mates have P ridiculous trying to think what other footballers would be like you I sort of see Gareth Southgate like you he’s coming for you he’s trying to he’s trying to get a proper nibble now trying to get a

Bite just G you know what I mean like it’s just well you think I drive like G also you wouldn’t smile when you drive it’s like all right and the radio can’t be past a certain thing before it gets distracting it’s can’t deal with people

Around you know I think I reckon you use cruise control that’s what I think is that I re I just think if you’re if you’re in a 60 you’ll go just to go like a bit just you’re really excited now I think you go 61 yeah and you get an erection out of

It while drinking a herbal tea I reckon you get sexually aroused by 61 he has denied it please send us through any experiences of bumping into celebrities driving cuz I think it’s weird I think what I’m coming away from with this is it’s weird to see celebrities it’s [ __ ] weird I forgot

You know what you said about right cuz I thought you going to say email in if you’ve seen me drive whatever on the road but because there was one yesterday and I don’t I’m sure this fell is a listener and I want to apologize to him

Um because I was coming out of my little girl had net ball and he knows where it is if he’s a listener and I think he might be because as I came out so basically I I reckon I’m going to write but there’s a red light here there’s a

Um car here and then there’s a car like just about to kind of join but but like 5 miles hour so obviously I’ve edged out cu red light it can’t go anywhere so as i’ as I’ve edged out he’s like going like beeping and waving his arms around

Like I went couldn’t believe it so obviously I’ve just gone out anyway and then as I gone out R the window down I said [ __ ] it’s a [ __ ] red light you dick like that and then obviously I could see him about to give me some and then he’s obviously like recognized me

Right so he’s gone and then I could see his face kind of change instead of abusing me he went crouchy he went I went he went uh calm down m i just going [ __ ] dick and I was thinking oh you I’ve already listened yeah all right got a few messages here

Little crimbo messages these ones great yeah message from Johnny says once work Christmas meal I accidentally tossed my napkin onto a table and set it on fire then in my haste I flew on the floor to stomp on it but it set fire to a nearby Christmas tree uh again accidentally

I’ve never heard the end of it that’s a Mr Bean story line that so I assume it went on the candle in the middle of the table yeah I’ve seen that happen I’ve seen seen that that’s a wedding thing as well that you got to be a bit wary of

Easy to get the napkins cuz you just throw it don’t you you just sort of toss it in the middle I’m not a big believer in napkins what about you uh yeah not fan unless I’m eating chicken with they always feel too small you put them

On the lap yeah I mean it’s just habit for me now I just lit I get it as soon as I get down I put it on my lap I use it all the time do you yeah but it’s just habit I actually do use it as well

As I use it it’s on my lap but don’t you think there look we don’t need to go into this too much but I just think they’re always too small for the job it kind of f you got to keep your legs together the whole time then you better

Just having a towel droped across it it’s one of those things in restaurants isn’t it like like like the gluten cushion um you know the the wine bollocks um there so much goes on in restaurants that’s for the performance yeah I agree I think you know the napkin

Being one of them like I I literally I could do this look this all you do he there you got out like you don’t need the waer to go to flick it out and drape it across you do you yeah which is which is another thing that happens it’s like

Don’t worry about me I’ll just put it there like that straight away yeah they never teach these rules it’s a bit like they’re willing to put the napkin on but you can’t call a waiter over to remove one can you no if if you can’t be asked

To put it on in the first place in a way it would be weird to say I’ll just call the waiter over to remove the nap my right so let’s start doing that right because I think you know cuz actually if they’re going to put it on they take it

Off after a meal I mean if they’re going to put it on right after a meal I’ve I’ve had a load to drink i’ I’ve eaten tired now you know what I mean if anything I need it after yeah so like before no problem I haven’t had a drink

Yet no worries but by the end oh just saw napkin out later just point point down on it just s the napkin mate you would do that you wouldn’t do that just obviously you wouldn’t do that like why why would you do that’s exactly it it’s not a disrespect thing at all what

We’re saying is all for show it’s no need at the start if you’re not going to finish yeah I agree yeah okay so we got a message from Smithy uh primary school exus night out stupidly booked very close to the school we worked at uh to

Put it bluntly a member of Staff whose position and name will remain unsaid decided to have a couple of jagers at the bar this was innocent until he threw up all over the bar and was escorted out by the bouncer as he was being thrown out he realized the bouncer was a as

He [ __ ] me as he was being thrown at he realized the bouncer was a parent of a kid in his class and was and he proceeded to out relatively gry how would you like it if I treated your child like this luckily enough the parents saw the funny side and brought

Him a teach gift a teacher teacher gift box that included some Jager and a sick bag hasht bouncers a massive a play too but teachers Christmas party I imagine it the worst case scenario you’re bumping into parents or pupils nothing was or ex pupils that’s the that’s the

Worst you must get that everywhere think how many kids have gone to that school what I mean like that’s why you’ve got to go to to Newcastle or or Manchester and do really if you teach from the school and go head to the city of love

Get away from do you what I mean a different city where you I reckon teachers give you a right go sorry I re they blow the doors off it yeah seriously well teachers teachers by and large sort of younger than you realized as well well and and

The older ones that this the quiet ones you got to be care careful of yeah what do you think is the larest subject PE I WR the PE the Brash ones like get get a [ __ ] Beering get you get yoga and I reckon this a science teacher is that

Hold on is that your impression of a PE teacher teacher they always wear shorts all year round they why they do that shorts how many keys have they got F seen so many keys on one key ring yeah well you can Co now and just everyone

Listening to this can all inv V that one p teach Mr Smith you want y yeah I reckon um I don’t know I’m trying to think of who else it would be biology may be in for a shout there I I reckon geography and science they’re the

One they’re the one they’re the they’re the loose ones geography loose yeah loose ones oh I was going to say home early geography French French is a couple of glass glasses nice glasses of red and a cheeseboard and then home yeah I think yeah languages I think yeah to

To um elegant for Christmas parties yeah you know they they they’re swearing the wine DT hardcore dance yeah DT woodw hardcore hardcore Electronica seriously stra fabric they egg till 6:00 in the morning they go fabric straight after yeah it’s bit more chemical I think so yeah I just I don’t

Know why I think it’s just this idea that they’ve always got headphones on haven’t they and they it’s Woodwork and it’s focused and it’s don’t know there’s something maybe that’s just my experience so what so what who’s letting themselves down who’s going to be the

One it’s always a quiet one I reckon I reckon it’ be a quiet um religious education yeah re a little quiet re a little should I mean Humanities or something like that go politics she don’t want to go anywhere near no boy to tears boy to tears about the state of

The country got a message from Ryan here says so one year I went out on Christmas Eve with a few friends and had a bit too much to drink didn’t get home until the early hours of the morning I was absolutely hanging uh all day and my nan

Came around for Christmas dinner now my nan loves to chat a lot and I was really not in a great place I had sunglasses on in the house uh the house was too bright and after dinner my nan decided to start having a conversation with me about her

Many holidays after about half an hour of her talking at me I fell asleep I then woke up and she was still talking to me fell asleep my mom told my mom told me after my nan had left that I was asleep for a solid two

Hours and my nan didn’t realize now it’s a lovely story because it’s lovely that he still obviously entertained his Nan even when he was asleep but it also and I briefly want to discuss this The Perils of Christmas Eve I don’t know where you both stand on it

I’ve had too many bad experiences where I’ve overcranked on Christmas Eve that Christmas day is a total write off thoughts yeah I do I don’t agree with the the the the 400 a.m. on Christmas Eve I agree with a lot of drinks but I

Think it’s a it’s a for me it’s a before midnight curfew I think especially when you got children you got to but that’s so hard to achieve because if you get to say 11: you go do you know what we’ll stay until midnight seeing Christmas and

Then we’ll go home do you see what I mean because really Christmas Eve is about getting out five four three and then the problem is as soon as I’ve not done that I do thatas Eve I don’t do that at all so what you saying it tips

Into Christmas and no one says anything you go happy Christmas don’t you look never done that wow never done that I never even before it was a thing maybe it’s just me then but I could I would think the main event of a Christmas Eve drinking session would be the fact that you’re

See in Christmas it makes sense that’s kind of the point of makes sense I just didn’t know that that was a thing yeah I didn’t I didn’t know that was my issue being if you get to midnight and you go do you know what we won’t leave right

Now we’ll go as soon as it hits midnight then you do the 5 4 3 2 1 then you’re into Christmas Happy Christmas everyone you have a drink then don’t you you’re not going to leave you’re not going to see Christmas if you’re going to see it in you’re in another hour hour

And then you lose control lose control and then Christmas Day That one for the road is well you’re at 1:00 a.m. by then you know conservatively you’re in there aren’t you you might as well stay in I mean I’ve not really done a Christmas Eve booze up with the kids because you get home and it’s the whole the whole show

Isn’t it for the kids just ruin it all it’s like you go oh when they come in at 5: you’re like no please no and like and that’s not the spirit also do you boys cook the Christmas dinner uh yeah I share it with my wife’s

A great cook yeah what do you think yeah well you you’re not going anywhere ABS um I don’t know whether I should share this with you but I will the reason I don’t go big on Christmas Eve is I take care of all the cooking on Christmas day

And this is my schedule for cooking schu I know what is fun about this like seriously what what look at him look he’s got issues look ham can this be on the barbecue he’s wrote that himself garlic bread for starter need time in the oven 6 minutes I believe you have

Not put out but that’s to yourself you’re writing this to yourself every year I’ve been doing this for about four or five years now and every year I send messages to Future that’s not even that’s not even on notes this is a document are you bring the Turkey um I

Don’t if you get a Kelly bronze you don’t need to Kelly wasn’t she a Destiny’s Child does sound page three you don’t know what you’re doing isn’t it [ __ ] Kelly bronze what Kelly Blues what Kelly bronze yeah Kelly bronze definitely there nice turkey is it what you mean that’s a lovely bird

That no it is no doubt sely bird that fing sounds it Kelly bronze Kelly bronze for me copers to be fair amazing schedule this is you you have to be regiment on Christmas day so I agree so I do it all cuz I’m cooking some of it

On the barbecue some of it in the ovens that is a a play by play of everything W I can’t believe there’s so much Sprouts out cifer out car carrots out you’ve put this in bold these are microwave this year so deal with later yeah so what I

Do is like sort of pre-cook them and then microwave things Martin should start preparing the cold starters so hold on if Martin’s if Martin’s watching a film or something like that like [Laughter] Martin it’s it’s it’s 119 yeah you’re on the cold STS it I’m tempted to put’s fun

About that cuz I’m saying if we put this out I’m tempted to put out on socials I’m also aware of the abuse I’ll get but if people in fact I’ll put it like this if you want this DM me and if you follow these instructions going have a great

Christmas dinner you will eat at 400 p.m. really and it will be bang on 4 p.m. I agree I can see where this I get that I get I do get it you the barie 2 p.m. or just before beef into kamado Joe 200 200° Centigrade foil tray underneath to catch

Beef juices do not throw away gravy gravy yeah do you have a rib of beef in the Barbie I yeah I’ve done that previously but yeah yeah I’ll I’ll send you what beef I’m going for this here if you want does to be fair does sound good

Yeah what about this one it’s not even 4:00 405 serve that is that a contingency a little 5 minute window give me a bell I want a FaceTime right Christmas Day on a FaceTime at 4:04 right and if he’s not on the table this is dead to

Me I I’ll I’ll throw it out there 405 so you’re you’re going to go to that length 405 is the time you eat what time you starting 4:05 it’s very precise I’m proud of this you should I’ve got the target temperatures for all the meats I’ve got sort of minute by minute on

What you need this is for if you’ve got you got to have a a good oven setup You’ got to have an oven and then you know like a little Grill one on top and a microwave if you got those three things feel free to DM me I’ll send you over

The schedule as I’ve got it what time you starting let me check cuz I know it’s an early start I’ve been there 10:30 a.m. turkey out to get the room temperature prepare turkey and tray season exposed neck cover Loosely with foil tray of vegetables and one pint of water what’s

Your thought of a bird and a bird the tur duen [ __ ] [ __ ] stre [ __ ] Street f t with the bird do you are you aware of the T well I know I know that Ken and Ru used to do it it’s if I’m right it’s

It’s a bird in a bird in a bird so it’s a turkey and a duck in a chicken so what you do in you put it all in together so so you have the turkey inside the turkey you put a chicken so you insert the chicken into the cavity of the turkey

And inside the chicken you insert a duck no you don’t do that well you can do yeah of course you can you do that there’s there I think I don’t know you can you I’ve seen this online somewhere it’s quite Niche but you can get these

Seven bird roasts yeah so it’s a bird and a bird and a bird and a bird and a bird and bird and a bird sounds like new car at Christmas Wellow I think that’s enough Christmas for today