Birthing a 10lb baby, raising three boys & life as empty nesters with my parents | Ep. 46

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This week Matt’s parents joined the podcast again to share more stories about Matt’s childhood, the experience of giving birth to Matt’s older brother Caleb & how they’re adjusting to their new life as empty nesters.

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Chapters:
00:00 – Episode 46
02:16 – Getting in a fight before our wedding
06:16 – How our marriage thrives as empty nesters
10:19 – Confronting my parents about cleaning
15:07 – My parents listen to every episode
19:46 – Why my parents waited to get married
23:20 – My dad never wanted to have kids
27:58 – Why I quit engineering to be a stay-at-home mom
30:34 – Questioning my parents as an 8-year-old
44:36 – Why my mom doesn’t cry
48:57 – Giving birth to an over 10lb baby
52:31 – My birth experience in 1996
55:53 – My mom publicly roasts me
01:05:20 – Getting a vasectomy
01:09:27 – Why being a grandparent is the best

#unplannedpodcast #mattandabby

Felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife I knew he was big but I didn’t know how big was he over 10 lb 10 lb 4 oz do you guys believe in soul mates Yes actually no you know you don’t oh cuz that started a fight you guys got in a

Big fight about that during premarital counseling the biggest divorce rate is empty nesters when all your kids are gone wait really no idea the largest percentage it could be easy to just go or separate like you start doing your hobbies and I’ll do my hobbies we’re committed we would never get a divorced

One of us would just be dead we would don’t do that I’m kidding my body would never be found up dude and welcome back to the unplanned podcast today we are joined by my parents this is their second appearance on the podcast you guys are only our

Second guest to appear on the podcast twice wow wow so we’re honored we’re popular hey we’re honored to have you here I’m honored that you’re wearing a merch thank you I love these are comfortable what do you guys think about it yeah give me your honest feedback on

The merch I like it it really is warm and cozy it feels nice and soft it’s quality I can tell it’s got quality fabric I like this color wait that makes me happy to say that by the way yeah that this is honestly their I get it

Free you get it for we will give it to you for free kidding talk to us afterward we will we will pull some Str we ship it to your house this is a good I like this isn’t the blue cool I really like it I like the blue but I really

Like the black oh you like the black more cuz I kind of like I I think people might like the more but you’re you’re diing the when you get fat like me then you wear the black it hides my belly it covers a lot I’m excited to have you

Guys on today because I just realized you have been married for 31 years that is a long time it feels longer it feels longer it seems longer do you remember what life was like before marriage it was wonderful no stop she said no stop mom what about you do you remember

Life before marriage not hard hardly it just kind of feels like you’ve eternally been married to this man I can’t imagine any other way man no it’s been it has been wonderful do you guys believe in soulmates Yes actually no you know you don’t oh cuz that started fight started

You guys got in a big fight about that during premarital counseling right exactly we were at church and our survey indicated that we are a perfect match but there’s a couple things that we were pretty far extremely different on and it was about you feel like this is the only

Person that you could be married to and be happy and I said no and Mom said yes yeah like I was like 10 yes cuz it’s like two weeks before the marriage I’m like yes it’s my one and only and he’s like absolutely not I’m like oh my gosh

And so that really hurt your feelings yeah cuz the way I thought about it was like if I lived at a different state never met Mom I’m sure I’d probably find somebody as nice but not as pretty that I could be married to and enjoyed my

Life with good answer yeah Abby and I were talking about that because we kind of both agreed that we don’t believe in soulmates so um what about you has your opinion changed I think you swayed my opinion on that yeah because I think like if you wouldn’t have been so

Logical about it I would have been like yeah I think we are soul mates like I couldn’t be with anyone else yeah but your logical brain has changed my brain to think about things more logically I guess has your opinion changed mom yes cuz I mine brain is logical too but this

Like I said this was like within weeks of the wedding yeah so I was all goooo and in wedding mode and in love which is good and I’m still in love but me too being that I have a logical brain I was like you’re right there’s there’s somebody in Alaska there’s somebody in

California there’s somebody you I think relationships matter if it’s a spouse or a friend takes work you know there’s friends that I’ve had years ago and I don’t see them very often we’ve kind of Grown Apart and the same thing happens if you’re not together and you’re doing

Things on a regular basis you grow apart and whether um um it’s somebody you met in your state or you met far far away it just takes effort and if you’re a part from that person you lose that relationship you lose that uh that Bond yeah don’t you agree when you think that

True oh totally communication so we try to spend time every night together and you know I think it’s important that I had an opportunity to go to Pur Illinois been a lot more money and I knew that would not be good for our our life our marital

Life so I I decided not to pursue that cuz I just knew that you know once you get displaced and we know people that are living that kind of life where they talking about like a job opportunity that happened recently were you no this is uh about two and a half years ago

Yeah pretty recent and you were thinking about like living Separate Lives almost that you can make I didn’t interview for the position but the guy who I knew worked for a company that I work for and I said hey we think you might be a good

Fit we’d be interested and he told me how much money it was going to be a lot it was more than three times almost five times as much money as make so wow is very very tempting and I didn’t interview because I realized if I go up

To prioria and I’m away from Mom and the family this is know three years ago whatever it just wouldn’t be good you know it’s not healthy not healthy I mean if you have to do it for a period people do what they have to do but longterm I

Don’t think it’s healthy but there’s lots of people that do that they live their lives where one of them has to be a part and It’s just tough you know celebrities have that issue um people we’re not celebrities ENT you guys are celebrities we are celebrities yeah you

Guys are a fan favorite on the Pod hey I’m so serious note though has there ever been a time in the 31 years you’ve been married that you didn’t think you were going to make it or that you that you thought oh this is really

Hard I don’t know I don’t know how we’re going to move forward probably about four or five times I guess are you serious I don’t know it’s kind of hard to quantify but yeah there was times where we were bickering UPS down I’d say look wait bickering no

Bickering and if you think it be better off that I’m gone I’ll pick up and leave you know and and you know I I really don’t want to leave because I love her and I would hate to be apart from from Mom but we were just kind of having a

Tough time but uh we worked through it it’s not 5050 as you guys know it’s sometimes you’re giving a hundred and the other person’s giving 10 and you know it’s just commitment we’re committed to each other and one of the biggest is I think the biggest divorce

Rate is empty nesters when all your kids are gone wait really no idea the largest percentage because you’re just in this Grind Mode of you take him there I’m here you’re there you know here’s dinner and you you don’t even have time to think and you try to fit each other in

Which we tried to do that always have time for each other because you don’t want the kids to be gone and then be like what is your name I don’t even remember you so I was pretty good and intentional about scheduling you know our time weekends away or whatever once

A year um so that we could stay oh yeah I remember the big was it her 40th or Noth yeah 40th you guys went to Hawaii for a big trip and it was it was a week away from the kids yep so that was 17 years ago yeah as parents was that hard

To be away from the kids cuz how old were they at that time oh you guys were little oh you’re were 25 Josh was three I was seven three yeah that was the hardest Jos was three Matt was seven and Caleb was nine and I think we kidded

About this Matt could have cared less cuz they were independent they were with each of my sisters mom Grandma’s like two three days with each no one could handle them more than two days because it was a lot you know 3 seven and N but

Caleb wanted to talk to us every day and Josh did but Matt was like hey bye see you well one of our relatives had a trampoline and you guys wouldn’t let us have a trampoline so you would call I’m like I’m doing back flips on the trampoline I don’t want to talk right

Now this is so much fun so yeah yeah well they had all girls so it was a little safer you know but you are boys but so anyway it’s lately we’ve been reading books on empty nesters and how to communicate and how to spark that fire and uh just doing our bucket list

Of what we want to do now that everybody’s out of the house so do you enjoy as far as your marriage is your marriage better or worse now that kids are out of the house it’s kind of hard to say it’s just a different um season different uh intensity I guess is the

What makes you happy I guess we have more time and we have the challenges of the kids so it’s a little bit more freedom I guess that we have to do what we want to do but we’re work that’s why we’re working on it like it could be

Easy easy to just go our separate like you start doing your hobbies and I’ll do my hobbies that’s the book I’m reading that yeah so they didn’t have the busyness of their family but they so they each started doing all the things that they wanted to do that they

Couldn’t with kids instead of doing them together so like we’ve been walking the Katie Trail we’ve been going to Augusta and just walking the kitty Trail and going to the winery or these uh beer gardens or whatever just for the day you know that’s in our backyard but we’ve

Also been working on a bathroom project that takes a lot of time and Mom’s done 97% of the planning W and that’s what this family did too you let everything go in the house when you have kids you know I mean especially three boys that just got destroyed and now we’re fixing

Up everything and Dad just fixed up a gym in the basement mhm who’s going to work out in that gym guest people come to visit we’ll charge you I still can’t believe you’re building a whole gym I’m like you don’t even work out at your own

House why would you build a house oh my gosh so our unfo part of the basement just didn’t have any drywall and I just thought it’d be a little bit more appealing to me if I could put a TV down there and have something that’s a little

More appealing and inviting and I need to get some better lighting so but anyway um it’s pretty much done and we had a little leak in our expansion tank which sprayed water everywhere but I got that fixed and we’re excited for you guys to see it who clean your house now

That there’s no kids there to clean it for you cuz I used to us clean up all the hair get dirty I cleaned all the hair off of your bathroom FL with the with the little sticky roller and and that was for pet dander that wasn’t even

Supposed to be for human dander but it worked and I just I thought everybody did that I thought every I thought moner I think you both are I mean there was so much hair on that floor this is the only thing I lose he’s yeah no yeah you you

Wait those two little boys you got they’re going to make messes where you don’t think you could have more of a messy thing and it’s just it’s constant battle yeah seriously do you guys hire cleaner what what are you doing yeah she’s got me you were good about having

Your boys do stuff around the house and being respectful like I guess what are some of your best tips for like we have two boys now not three yet two I feel like we’re going to have a third boy I’m just saying it I really feel like we

Will probably so and that’ll be the end I little girl and I’m going to spoil her rotten I would love a little girl anyway not about us no what are your best tips for raising little boys or little kids in general I guess my biggest tip is

Just give them the time they need and uh um you guys are doing a great job with it you know raising two wonderful little boys I know you just getting started with it but just uh being understanding and it’s more about your relationship with them than a stuff

I came home one time and mom was trying to get the boys to clean something and they put this cleaner on the carpet and it created a stain and I was so upset that our nice house is going to have this permanent stain it’s still there

And it’s still the white spot on the carpet was that Josh or me it’s more important that you guys are learning to clean and helping your mom and that our house was lived in didn’t have to be perfect it was about your relationship with your family not how pretty the

House was and I think that’s the biggest thing so if something gets ruined or messed up don’t make a big deal about it I know it’s kind of stinks it’s money you’re trying to keep your house nice but it’s more important to have that relationship with your child than it has

To have a perfectly clean house that’s great yeah and but if you’re a perfectionist which I can be or used to be you know you can do it better than they can and it’s going to take way longer to show them at 2 or 3 how to

Fold towels or whatever and it’s going to look bad but you just have to take a deep breath and be like this for the long in the long run this is this is good how you learn I don’t know I clean that bathroom floor pretty good you

Would tell me hey Matt can I eat off of this because if I can’t eat off of it it’s not clean enough well the other thing is you know your boys are little now they’re not at that age we’re going to start fighting but mom came home one time when you and

Caleb were having a big fight and Caleb had you some type of a headlock scratching him and his neck was just all scratched up bleeding and you’re red faced and she told me about it and I thought somewh funny but it’s also scary because you get to a certain

Point you can hurt each other that was rare you yeah you guys didn’t really fight that much how did you do that cuz I’m like literally actively dreading the day that Griffin and aie start fighting with each other I swear it’s going to happen it depends on your oldest it

Really cuz we saw a lot of boy families in baseball cuz John coached a lot of baseball and soccer and we would go on these tournaments and there was an older boy with little brothers and they would be so mean to them and the parents would

Do nothing and it just broke my heart but Caleb set the standard I mean I mean I’m not saying it’s anything to do with us I’m saying he has a great heart and was a very good big brother and I think that trickled down you know to Matt

Which then trickled down to Josh like I think he really helped to make it a good situation and I think you got on top of those things right away if you let it fer then it’s hard to kind of bring it back down to a level where

You can manage it so you’re doing a good job if you tell um Griffin hey be good to your little brother don’t hit him don’t don’t be mean all those kind of things and it just he realizes oh this is my little brother I got to be good at

My little brother and I think that’s important to learn at an early age because later on they’ll have some issues say there’s so much ugliness in the world and people beating up on each other we’re gonna be good to each other in this house and I think we might have

Talked about that last time not every night but a lot of nights we’d go around the H the table and everybody had to compliment say one nice thing about each person I remember that it sounds kind of corny but you got to look for the POS UPS like people that I’ve watched some

Of your comments where people say negative things about you it’s like I understand why people would follow somebody just so they can haunt him and say something negative just be positive you know be positive these two people are great people they’re doing a good job raising these two little boys and

They would want nothing better than for their fan based to enjoy their friends and family and do good for each other and you guys do that so thank you that’s really nice thanks Dad so nice they’re literally like some more biggest fans it’s so sweet I feel you guys listen to

Every podcast almost we used to but do you watch every podcast for YouTube video like we’ve watched them that we disclose some things that we know about like babies being conceived you guys watch every episodes I’m like oh my gosh why you say oh my gosh my parents are

Going to watch this this is uncomfortable yeah and as soon as we watch it we send you a message or like Groupon someone said they used Groupon you guys figured out that we conceived our child that Thanksgiving at your house so you go my mom uses Groupon all the time that’s you

Big group you are big into coup’s mom you have stashes of coupons in your house like everywhere used to oh you don’t so is it now virtual more virtual now but that’s nice you have less clutter his mom decluttering a little bit or what a bling yeah okay yeah

There’s things that she’s getting rid of one thing I’ve started to do for hers I get her flowers like once a month she really likes flowers that you’ve been almost like once a week that’s nice good job dad right before they clear out all the flowers at the cemetery that’s why

You usually go in and get something ni you find some really good uh decorations has that gotten funnier as he’s gotten older yeah you think so I think I’m funny okay so this is the thing you know when you have three kids and I stayed home some and work

Part-time some and you’re always just saving for them and their college you know I was like I don’t need flowers like that’s just a waste of money it’s frivolous I always said that and now I’m like having a different mindset I’m like Josh is a junior you and Caleb are gone

I want to have flowers sometimes so almost it’s almost every week you get flowers so much the flowers just is the idea that I’m thinking of her and I come home with flowers and she goes oh my gosh he thought about me so I have them Friday Saturday Sunday I work from home

Monday and I just can sit with them and it’s nice where Abby that’s coffee I’ll go and get her a coffee like almost every morning and L it it was czy the first time that I did it her the day was just amazing she was so she was so happy

It was just a great day and I thought man I need to do this like you said it’s not about the actual thing it’s that you thought of us and that you went and did something right and I think I think about you all the time but usually I

Don’t accompany it by an action so if I have an action that accompanies that then you’re aware oh about me all the time of course positive thoughts by the way can we just can we just Spam the comments with Abby looks so cute in her headband I don’t know why she never

Wears headbands but this little headband she’s wearing today is so I feel like Alice from Wonderland I love it I’ve never seen you wear Alice I haven’t seen you wear a headband in years I don’t know why you de to wear that today but it’s so cute I always thought it drew

Too much attention to my ears I think you have cute ears you’re pretty you’re really really pretty I do have little ears kind of hard for me to hear you’re a lovely mom you look so good as a mom it’s really helpful to keep your hair out of your face especially nursing I’m

Like looking down yeah no this is is great so send in the headbands I know I just got two more headbands from Amazon for 525 no way wait is it because I complimented it last night and then you were like I want to get more of these

You compliment it’s C oh I did that today that’s right so I just did buy now oh before I forget so we ate at a restaurant with these two this afternoon and on the way out some fans recognize you and you guys do a great job when somebody recognized you and you took

Pictures with these little kids and it met the world for this little girl to be able to hit her a picture taken with you guys that’s something that I’ve watched and observed cuz if was I in your position I might be tired don’t want to

Do it you guys just light up and uh it’s really neat to see how you guys um I guess support your fans support your fans and just react to how fans uh are so happy CU they’re going to see you one time maybe in their whole life and for

You to take your time out of your day to support the I guess their interest in you and take pictures that’s really neat it’s really cute no it’s really important I see that so yeah precious thank you yeah well back to the raising boys thing I totally forgot my question he wait

Something about having kids you attention deficit you guys got married but then you waited almost 5 years to have kids whoa y whoa hold up we got married in ‘ 92 Caleb was born in 96 and that was in your 30s cuz I told Abby the other day we could literally wait like

Eight years to have more children and that would be in our 30s just like you did cuz you were 30 and dad was 32 and you had Caleb right yeah I think you know we dated 2 years and then got engaged and then were engaged a year so

We were together 3 years before we got married and then yeah we waited four and a half before he had Caleb so really we were together seven and a half years and I really we just always talked unfortunate like no one in my family had

Ever divorced and but my mom and dad did right when we were getting married so we were like okay we really want to make sure this is right you know there’s no need to rush and unfortunately John’s family his dad that happened quite a bit

And so we were like we don’t want this to happen this is forever we’re we’re getting this I was very concerned about making the wrong decision and getting divorced I wanted to make sure I waited until I so we waited to get married we knew after 3 months we were going to get

Married okay but we waited three years just to get because you need to go through all the ups and downs and all you know there’s going to be valleys there’s going to be mountains and there were and you know was we did it and then we were like let’s just enjoy our time

And then have kids and not think oh I wish we could go out and I wish we could do this and I wish you know we had some fun and then we we were ready to stay home you know and we and so we’re committed for life I said we would never

Get a divorc one of us would just be dead we would just kill the other don’t do that I’m kidding it’s a joke it’s a joke watching dayline all the time mine she knows how to get rid of me and my body would never be found

How to kill your husband it’s always how to kill your wife you’re right here folks you know if there’s everything anything ever happens to my parents you know how it happened Matt there’s no way that we could drag your dead bodies anywhere think about how heavy you’d be

Why are you talking about this right now you’re into that too Abby listens to Crime junkie it’s a it’s like a murder I would have to push you off of a cliff or something knows how to kill people like very efficiently she listens to this stuff all the time it’s the

Interesting it’s honestly I feel like it’s a woman’s innate like urge to figure out how to stay alive because it’s always the women right 99% of the time it’s the guy doing I heard about that one where the the two best friends ended up like having a little

Something come up and one of the best friends hooked up with his other best friend’s wife and then they murdered the best friend yeah but she had a man do it with her well I guess she was she was the culprit she was the one that convinced they said that they got eaten

By crocodiles it wasn’t true she just had the guy go yeah let’s think about posi of things we just yeah but I think that stuff is selfish when people make those decisions it’s just selfish yeah this episode is sponsored by SeatGeek we love using SeatGeek to find the best

Deals on shows games everything from the above everything from the above and we actually went to a show on my birthday a year and a half ago using SeatGeek what really nice is you can find deals on tickets by using their tool to see if they’re in the red the green the yellow

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School yeah and we’ve used it much more frequently than just a year and a half ago I think that was just the first time we actually no it wasn’t even the time was that the first time we used seek no but we we used it before then we’ve used

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Make sure you click the link in the description to download the app thank you now back to the episode you didn’t have kids for you said three and a half years after four and a half four and a half just to make sure they were going to stay together but Dad I remember

There was a time in your life where you thought you would never get married and you thought you would never have kids why did you decide to have kids what changed uh a short skirt and tan legs that sounds awful that’s weird okay I’m pretty deep you know no I’m a

Shallow guy I saw mom I was like wow she is hot so I just walked right over to her introduced myself and rest this history there’s much prettier women that you’ve seen you saw before hey you know what who’s the uh gal that reminds me of

You and I took a picture compared your eyes to her eyes I don’t look anything like her just don’t come on what’s her name I Heidi clo Heidi so Heidi clo and Mom have the same eyes and nose so I took a picture of mom and Heidi Gloom

She go what are you doing I said hang on a second I edit it and showed both of them and her eyes and nose similar so maybe she’s your other soulmate you know maybe she’s the other person that could have worked out with no I think your mother is beautiful and

Um I couldn’t be happier that doesn’t make sense you went from not wanting to get married and I didn’t think I could be happy happy being married and having to deal with kids and all the stuff that goes on with kids I just wanted to be rich

Famous and do whatever I wanted to do and just be all about me and then I had two guys I work with Mike and uh I can’t remember so any I was talking to two of them and one guy uh was traveling and going to Hawaii and he having a great

Time and Mike uh was married had three daughters and he spent all his time on his kids and money on his kids and they were doing dance classes and everything and he drove a older vehicle and the other guy had a hot rod car and I was

Like I don’t want to be like the other guy and not be like Mike and Mike sat me down he was my boss and he goes now look someday you’re going to wish you had a family and it’s going to be important that you have family and family is more

Important than a car it’s going to rot and rust and everything else and uh he was right so I look at me I’m blessed to have a wonderful son grandson and great um daughter-in-law and uh couldn’t be happier that’s really wished you had a daughter though yes yeah but someday

I’ll have a granddaughter you think yeah but when you got married when you got married though it was did you guys always know that you were going to have kids or was that a topic of discuss yeah we talked about it it was just a quan wanted three and I wanted three so

That was good we always said three I don’t know why and people say oh when you ride the roller coaster you have an odd person all this weird stuff it’s like how often are you on a roller coaster exactly John or Isle sit alone booth having um dinner at a restaurant

You have you know a set of four having five is difficult but sometimes spouse is not there or one of the kids is going to a friend’s house and then one day somebody said well now you got your golf for some so I got three boys myself I

Said yep someday I’ll have to you know take my boys out have her golf force and we’ve never done it but we’ve never done be cool to do that but I actually wanted all three boys um unfortunately like most people in middle school I was bullied you know

My eighth grade year and girls were lying saying I was doing all these wild things that I didn’t even know what they were you know I was just so clean cut and I was crying myself to sleep every night and I was like for for a period

You know and I thought I am miserable like if this was my daughter I would want to go up to school and ring some necks and you can’t do that you know what I mean so I thought most of my friends were guys they’re just this is a compliment like simple

Straightforward say it like it is move on and so I had mostly guy friends and I was like God I just want three boys just three boys and so I I I wanted that now John oh yeah he wanted a girl but I think if I have had a girl he’d have

Forgot about me and when you when you were working full-time as an engineer you started to have kids you which by the way congratulations on like I I didn’t realize as a kid how cool that was that my mom got engineering degree I didn’t realize how hard that was to do

Um and I didn’t realize that you were like a Pioneer in that too cuz not very many women went to school and got a civil engineering degree and did what you did so like Kudos kudos to you Mom that’s awesome that you did that people do a lot harder things but when you

Started to have kids why did you decide to quit your job and become a stay-at home mom well I feel so bad for people that have to work unless they want to work outside the home you know some women do do but I I wanted to raise my

Own kids I wanted to be a stay-at-home mom uh but we had some Financial issues so I work part-time with you and Caleb I work 20 hours a week and um then with Josh it was just too much because Dad was working lots of hours and all

Weekend and so I stayed home full-time and then I went back part-time and and now I’m full-time again now that everybody’s out of the house but I I wanted to raise my kids I thought why am I having kids if I’m not going to be a

Part of their life you know what I mean but um like I said some people can’t afford it and I don’t know how you guys have said that too I don’t know how single parents do it I I don’t yeah that would be the most difficult job and and

People that work outside the home and a single parent you know it’s just woo but anyway I love being a mom and um I just had the degree to fall back on and it’s it’s served us well right a few times that um dad’s had some job challenges

And I could step up and that’s what being a partner is about yeah and you’re back now you’re back working full-time as an engineer that’s pretty cool for five and a half years yeah wow I’ve always worked in a sales capacity it’s Performance Based so you can have a good

Year you have a bad year and if you don’t have a good year just like a professional athlete you know they they can’t keep it around if you’re not driving in runs or pitching well so and sales if you’re not hitting your numbers you know they they don’t keep you so uh

That’s why I think you guys have been a little gunshy31 oh maybe I was also who is your most troublemaking child well we’ve already discussed that at the M I wonder who it is you was that the hardest to race of all the all the boys I think you

Just had a lot of questions and um I think that’s probably the the biggest thing is Caleb didn’t ask the questions you asked but you were very curious about how things work and why things happen and uh questions about Santa Claus since this is going to air right

Before Santa or before Christmas you were like figuring things out about Santa Claus that other kids your age hadn’t thought about and you just I don’t know you’re just kind of very aware of everything that’s going on you ask a lot of questions I remember drilling you about Santa Claus I I

Drilled you hard cuz once I figured everything out I was like okay so then the same must be true about the Tooth Fairy the Easter Bunny you know all these all these people yeah you challenged your mother big time and you saw a gift in the back of the car no

That was Caleb actually Caleb figured it out with me we we had an interrogation uh like room essentially in second grade me and my buddies well it was we we were kind of like interrog we were just like thinking it was almost like Santa was on

Trial and all like me and all my friends were like okay what is the evidence like what are you guys seeing in your house that makes you think that Santa is real and we really and we started to figure it out that’s so cute yeah and that’s

Pretty Advanced to think and talk like that because a lot of little boys your age that’s the last thing they think I’ve just always questioned everything like I wanted I wanted to know why I didn’t want to know oh this is just the way we do things I wanted to know the

Reason why um because I I I don’t know I just want to just accept that face value this is why we do things and I’m not going to explain to you and what everybody said he’s smart is why he asked questions you wouldn’t stop asking questions and I would answer like 10 in

20 minutes and then I’m like okay I’ve hit my limit mom just cuz mother said we’re moving on cuz I was exhausted how should we approach the birds and the Beast talk with our kids I think you let them ask about those things don’t tell things they’re not ready for okay so

What’s that called when you wait to them to get to age appropriate where they start asking questions and don’t bring it up and try to force something that’s not ready to be exposed to your children they don’t ask and what if they what if they but what if they’re just they’re in

Eighth grade you know by eighth grade they’ve already figured it out eighth grade they usually kind of know that there’s something going on so I would ask questions and see where they’re at with the thought process but don’t force it on them till they’re ready but maybe

Ask some questions yeah I I think you’re totally right about that but I almost think that if your kid is getting a little bit older you need to have a conversation because you want to make sure they’re not learning everything from kids in school or from the internet

Correct I wasn’t told anything and my parents were like oh yeah we did I’m like I think I would know if that would be a memorable conversation yeah did you have a birds and bees talk with your parents Dad we lived in a kind of away from a lot of other families because

Lived in a rural environment and then we moved to this place Wisconsin where it had some neighbors and there were girls and then we were playing spin the bottle kissing and everything so then my dad had a conversation about the birds and the be cuz he knew that we were playing

Spin the bottle Oh I thought it was cuz you were about to say that it was cuz you live on a farm and that’s how lot people learned about that wow so 8th grade we were playing spin the bottle and my dad found out that you know my

Brother and I were going over to the neighbor’s house playing spin the bottle of the girls and he wanted to make sure that we knew that we got to be careful did they have like sex education in school when you guys were kids no that

Wasn’t a thing in high school not not I don’t remember ever really they did actually I’m pretty sure they like gave each kid a banana and like here’s a condom here’s how you put a banana on which why would they even need to do that now that you think about it like

Wow yeah what do you mean like that seems pretty I don’t know I guess straightforward I know it’s probably straightforward but people kids are stupid man like kids do some stupid stuff you got to make it pretty you got to make the instructions pretty simple yeah you’re right they should use a

Cucumber and not a banana I don’t know oh man neither’s great okay enough on that all let’s on oh my gosh funny what was the most honor thing Matt did Growing Up I’m just curious hory remember something hry that we can share here on I drew the American Idol logo on

Our carpet when I was five cuz I really wanted to be on American Idol they were kids markers but they weren’t waterproof yeah they were permanent who has kids markers that are permanent and then I think the biggest argument were over this silly helmet and

Now you’re the helmet man I love I think helmets are great you guys made your point but I I see I like to have fun safely I call it safely sending it so if I’m going to do something fun I want to make sure I’m doing the most to make to

To ensure that I’m safe in case I fall off right because there’s so many stupid ways to die or stupid ways to get paralyzed or have a concussion you might as well throw the helmet on and call the day I guess probably one of hry things

He did he’s very um um once he gets his mindset he’s going to do it so when you start dating Abby and she lived in Quincy like I’m going to go visit Abby ands two hours gosh 18 years old I guess so you just started driving two years

Before and all a you’re driving by yourself all way up to Quincy by yourself little and you’re just taking off and one time I think you said I’m going there and you’re stop you’re not no you’re not and then we track you with life 36 okay he’s

Almost that was unre I remember that and you guys called you called my parents and you told them hey just so you know we told him not to go I didn’t want them to think we were crazy like I think it was a school night or something I think

I might have been off school the next day I don’t know I had one month left of school I was 18 about to turn 19 I was going into college and so you guys are saying no you can’t visit your girlfriend and I said I don’t know about

That but that sounds drastic when you you were seeing her like every every week it’s not like we were saying you can’t see I was old enough to be in college so I know um and that was another good move too on that we talk about that kindgarten twice kindergart

My mom held me back I went kindergarten twice it wasn’t hold back it was the gift of time that’s right I could have been medicated though for ADHD you no you wouldn’t have your creativity no it was I could have probably just taken it maybe like a day

Or two a week no NE things you did is you were in the box and you wanted to ask her to a homecoming or something yeah and uh so Lori helped out with this gift idea so you showed up put this box in the front shown it yeah front porch

And they just ended their song that you just released with Abby laughing if you coming out of that box I thought it was a real cute way to end that so I wasn’t trying to knark on you letting her parents know I wanted them to know we

Were responsible parents and we were not just allowing you to drive up there cuz you were going up there a lot yeah and here you’re in high school you were in love was so in love I yeah and we’re like we didn’t say this was okay like cuz I knew they weren’t

Letting you drive cuz it was small little roads yeah it wasn’t an interstate it was pretty dicey that was all I knew I did not know how to drive on an interstate so how are you guys going to keep this this fire going that’s one of the things that we try to

Do as a relationship so I mean we’re trying to keep I think by being um uh positive and intentional that’s the word intentional inal that you know I would bring her flowers I massage her back every time but there’s kind of times we fight but then the makeup is fun too

After you’ve been fighting you can make up and that’s fun dad that is so weird what the makeup is fun I’m not talking about mascara I know you’re not talking about mascara this is where Matt gets it from by the way yeah that tot I’m I am

Intentional to a fault actually I don’t like go with the flow I don’t like whatever but the good part of that is like yeah every night we eat and he helps me clean up but then I’m like okay are we going to read a book together

We’ll read you know and talk about it or go for a walk together and talk we always earn attention about what are we doing together every night right and I think that’s important now you can’t you guys necessarily but once everybody’s gone you got to at least have your 10

Minutes of being intentional or whatever you know with kids but yeah it’s pretty wild to me just because we don’t have a normal perspective on life in a lot of ways but especially because we work together all day every day whereas like you guys have your time at night where

It’s like this is our intentional time it’s like we have to be yeah figuring out where do we put this in the middle of our day but I think it’s good that you break away to go work out and then uh Matthew does work and even though

He’s in the house he’s is breaking away he’s kind of doing some things on own so I think it’s healthy and I think it’s healthy once in a while that you do something with some guy friends or have to be on the calendar you know like with

You guys having so much it has to be written down it has to be on the phones or it won’t happen you gone to Nashville do some recording so that’s breaking away from family yeah you guys have have like a weekly date night that you have planned every Thursday you do something

Well we watch like the voice that’s kind of our thing to do and we uh we go on we go on uh dates either Friday or Saturday go on a date we love to go to Joey bees and sit outside with the fire pits and everything used to work feels like

You’re on vacation speaking of Missouri do you think you’ll ever move out of Missouri I know they’re talking about all these home renovations and we’re like no I’m like wait a second are you going to leave that house cuz all of your all your grandkids are in Arizona

We we’ll see I mean someday I really like the Four Seasons I like the green grass I like seeing the deer my backyard I like her house and they make fun of me about the deer ass he sends me pictures of the deer about every other week I’m like Dad

I get it you have deer in your backyard squirrels rabbits birdies I hated those deer when I was a seven-year-old I was trying to grow a garden and they kept eating all my plants they ate all my tomatoes they ate all Tomatoes Tomatoes potatoes there was a couple Summers yeah

He really did work hard you were like a little farmer yeah now you use my garden as like a dump Dumping Ground for all of your grass clippings canas and elephan ear in it this year no cuz the deer don’t like canas and elephan ears I learned that uh those

He’s became aant and a bird man those plants uh are not appealing to the deer plant bird but yeah I got like four or five hummingbird feeders and it’s fun to watch them he just sits out there and watches his hummingbird that scary for

Me like I’m 25 and when I turn 25 I’m like oh frick I’m a quarter of a weight to 100 like my life is not infinite and so is that scary to be in your 50s and think okay now I’m having grandkids I don’t know you just realize

My life doesn’t last forever like I I have I have a Time clock on this Earth so is that is that freaky at all with do I stay in St Louis do we move do we do part-time in Arizona and parttime in in um Missouri because that’s what a lot of

You know snowbirds do what have you guys thought about that well we’re not trying to pressure you we will always come back and visit yeah we will no I uh totally especially Josh now moving on and you guys having kids and it’s really weird it’s fortunate and unfortunate at my job when someone

Passes they we get an email and you know just to show the visitation and if we want to send a card or go to the you know and I mean like every other week someone in their 50s is passing gosh and um you know we’re 57 and 59 I don’t care

And uh you know whatever and so that’s that’s kind of when I’ve stepped back and I’m like I’ve always been a Savor I’ve always been saving for a rainy day and always waiting to enjoy this or enjoy that and I’m like I’m going to start enjoying things like you know

We’ve came here a lot out here a lot for us because we’re always we’re so conservative and saving our money and everything but I’m like what else are we living for if it’s not for our kids and our grandkids like I want to if they’ll

Have us I want to go out there and see them we’ll always have you yes but I know someday if you if you guys stay here we will definitely be coming it’s just you know we have a lot of friends I have my group of women Bible study John

Does and we just and our couples and we just we have our people right but you’re our favorite people it’s just that we’re the favorite kids no our kids are our favorite people and our grand me not Caleb and and Abigail our children but anyway it’s it’s it’s going to be hard

It’s a little easier now with the technology to keep up with your family and friends and it’s fun to watch you guys do this podcast or in Instagrams so I just feel like I’m getting a snippet of what you’re doing every day and I’m almost getting more insight as what

You’re doing than if I was even out here cuz you’re filming so much that I’m saying oh my gosh I didn’t realize that this was so important to you and I think that’s weird the things that you’ve done and things that make you laugh like the interview of you interviewing Caleb and

Abigail there’s a lot of that I learned by watching those videos it was fun that’s hilarious yeah so we’re talking about things in that interview that you wouldn’t have heard about really need to communicate better with your parents well some of the stuff you just don’t realize it’s the girls to

Us you know with the birth we she was talking about how she was scared that she could have died and being there alone long know that stuff until the podcast I didn’t realized that she was that fearful in what was going on and she probably doesn’t want to go there

And talk about it because it’s very scary so that kind offf you know you see what somebody went through without having to have them address it and bring up those hurts but I’d rather be in person yeah but that did allow me to learn about what she went through and how scary it

Was for her um cuz you were crying and I was crying watching you cry I was going to ask if everybody was crying why why is it that dad’s the emotional one and you’re not Mom and I’m just like you I get it from you I’m not emotional cuz she’s

Mean okay just you don’t have to you don’t have to visually show it to mean that you’re not hurt inside you don’t have to cry it I’m hurting inside but that doesn’t mean I have to show it do you fight the tears or they just not I cannot fathom not being an emotional

Person um I don’t understand I think I think since I was raised um my dad was pretty tough and we were all girls at the time when I was home it was always like you know you shouldn’t cry tough it up instead like be tough and so so that

Was like considered a weakness which is sad that’s not right I mean but that’s how I was rais you know what I mean so that’s just kind of how I am are your sisters emotional um they’re more so than me but I’m the oldest so I think it

Was the firstborn kind of you know suck it up for the family you know whatever but I mean John’s the teary one oh my gosh I hate it I hate being emotional when my dad died I was asked to be the one that would speak on his go so when I

Got up there I started off with a little joke I thought okay if I can get to laugh it help me get through this so I said and I’m I’m serious there’s two things I hate to do in front of people and I said to cry is one and the other

One is to throw up and I hope I can get through this without doing either one so that’s how I started off so people kind of giggled and then I got into it and uh it was just tough to to talk about some of you loved and care for so much and

They’re now gone you’re never going to see them again go that’s horrible yeah so anyway I just emotional and I guess I’m become more emotional as I get older he used to not be as much yeah and I don’t know what it is as you get older

You’re getting more emotional I think so softy my cousin told me before he died he says I think it’s just as you get more uh experiences you become a little more um vulnerable and you have more experiences with my cousin Chuck’s mom died my Aunt Ruth I called up to share

My thoughts and feelings and I couldn’t even get the words out I was I just tough here I was calling to console him and I’m like that happens to me yeah I hate it and you’re at a funeral and you’re going to see somebody and you’re walking through sometimes I don’t even

Know the family that well and I’m like getting choked up it’s like this is somebody I barely know what I’m getting but it’s tough when you see other people cry that means you’re an empath yeah is that what people say or at least empathetic I don’t know my dad’s

Definitely that’s me like people I will go visit to like send my regards if someone’s past and then they end up consoling me and I’m just so mortified I’m like no not it’s not about me I can’t control this this episode is sponsored by nutriful hair thinning

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Code unplanned now back to the episode I know Mom we were talking about Abigail and how she felt like she might be close to death when she was giving birth this year and I think you had a similar experience when you were giving birth to Caleb my older brother in 1996 what tell

Me about that because I’m sure you probably could relate listening to the podcast you were probably freaking out probably really scared when you’re giving birth to was he was he 10 lb was he over 10 lb 10 lb 4 oz wow yeah and she had a vein coming out of her

Forehead pushing so hard and like I didn’t see that oh my gosh I was like and they had the suction cup out and forceps I’m like am my son they don’t use those anymore I don’t think is this going to be okay am I going to lose him

Is he going to be born with birth defects and you know stuff like that happens I don’t know when they decide to do a C-section oh my gosh I was scared yeah why did they not decide to do a C-section we’re young and stupid we didn’t know this was our first child we

Don’t go we don’t go like when you do a C-section you know what I mean and you guys didn’t have the internet like how did you learn about any of this stuff did you just you had to go to classes you had to go to birthing class you that

Faith in the system and your doctor and faith in God in the nurses and yeah but um if things don’t this is not supposed to be a perfect world so we’re not going to get out of this thing without having well challenges okay so I no I knew he

Was big but I didn’t know how big they just said they thought he was over n lbs you know Josh they told me they thought he was over 10 PBS they did know yeah but um anyway it it was uh my water broke so I said thank you God cuz I was

Thinking I wouldn’t know I I was afraid I wouldn’t know you know cuz they said happening every 5 minutes for an hour long you know all these crazy things and like so I’m thankful my water broke and um got there and I did were you fullterm yes I was just a few days

Before and um uh you know that whole story I had him a day before Audrey yeah my cousin we had a car phone I can’t believe that John had like I know we called Cindy wasn’t it car phone but the technology it wasn’t as good as it was I

Can’t believe I can’t think of a a world without smartphones that’s so weird that so A Car phone that was cool it was like a thing in the car built in so you called your sister on your car phone she was supposed to deliver before me she

Was due before me okay and so she was already passed her date so they were going to induce her on Tuesday and this is Sunday night my water broke and I’m calling her at like 11:00 p.m. and she knew why would I be calling her at 11:00

P.m. she goes you are not headed to the hospital I’m like yes and she goes and I’m the oldest and she’s second she’s like you just could not let me beat you in one thing why can’t you let me win at one thing you’re competitive you’re very

Comp when we play family games on Family Game Night you want to beat everybody that’s why I just sit back and don’t even if that means Break The Rules sometimes break the rules when you disclose to your mom that we’re going to have a baby and then right after that

Your sister disclosed that she was going to have a baby your mom was like in Big Time shock and then here it is fast for I don’t know how many years later 25 years you and your brother both disclosed you’re going to have babies about the same time and that was and

It’s on our little video frame in our kitchen where you guys disclose the fact and Griffin’s got have a baby brother and then they all looked at each other I like you said it again and it was unbelievable and then you come into Thanksgiving was it two years ago

Announcing that you’re going to have a baby and then uh announcing that you’re going to have another baby the same day well that’s why we did it at the same time cuz we knew the story that you guys had with you and your sister being so we

Thought how cool is this that yeah 27 years later this is happening all over again or I guess last year it been 26 years last year so so Griffin and CJ are three weeks apart something like that two or three weeks apart so back to you

Almost not that it’s about me but um yeah so I had pushed for hours I had an epidural but you know they say after a while okay now we want you to start pushing I could not lift this leg because it felt like I don’t want to be

Too graphic for people that are going to have baby still but felt like someone was stabbing me with a knife like right here every time this leg got lifted so dad had to stand on this side and lift my leg every time I push because it I

Couldn’t do I wanted him out but I it hurt too bad I didn’t know if it was a boy or girl so I holding my hand talking to her through it and uh you know being in medical sales I was in surgery a lot and I just wanted to see what was going

On so I sck a peek and she was you focus on me I didn’t want him down there squeeze my hand goes pay attention so it hurt yeah pretty bad and um yeah like he said they had the forceps and this thing that looks like a toilet plunger it

Looks like a plunger that they suck pulling and three people got on top of me the doct abdomen pushing on it was like unbelievable I was like oh my gosh did they stick the forceps up there to pull no his head started to come out but he wasn’t like the shoulders weren’t coming

Out so they’re like pulling on his head and trying to move his shoulders the other thing they had a team in there for him CU he had swallowed yeah the what is it called maros Mar Marium what is it called martic fluid no no it was the

Poop there’s a better name for it so all you people in the medical world sorry yes it like rhymes with Marium I think I can’t think of the word right now yeah yeah isn’t that terrible we look Sil watch the Comets but we don’t know how

To spell there was a whole team around his little bed when he came out too cuz I had to tuck take that out you know so he didn’t get that in his lungs anyway so it all worked out fine but yeah went to weigh him and he was

104 and yeah that was rough but thankfully and then they had like this girl that was studying to be a nurse I couldn’t go to the restroom I kept trying so then had to get the catheter and and she was practicing and couldn’t and I’m like can we finally just get

Someone that knows what they’re doing I’m very sorry yeah you told me she was she was sticking you with a needle to like draw your blood and like run tests on you or what exactly happened to do the catheter oh put the cath in and she

Couldn’t put it in cuz she was like practicing you know she was yeah so I’m like I can’t handle any more pain can you please get somebody so here it is meconium mum aspiration syndrome occurs when a newborn Breeze a mixture of M meconium and amniotic fluid into the

Lungs around a time of delivery m e c o n IU M so monean they this is like when we’re at dinner as a family and say something and then you go on your phone we’re like what is Dad doing formed and then 5 minutes later you’re like

Moonium was it like traumatic enough that you were like scared for the second baby or obviously not because Matt was 19 months later I guess that’s the blessing that you kind of forget not forget but it’s not as bad and uh it was also wonderful we really weren’t wanting

To have one that quick but we thought we might have some challenges cuz a lot of our friends it took a while for them to have their second baby I don’t know why we’re like we might as well try but we are blessed that we look at each other

And get pregnant like every one of you were the first time the first try yeah so we got pregnant the first try and you were super easy cuz he was 92 compared to 104 oh so the bir was it was only 19 months okay yeah I won’t say what I normally would say

What what would you you said that I was the runt right you came out easy no I said I’ve had worse bow movements oh my gosh that crazy she did everything for you that it’s just so hard to Fathom like that gave me a lot of respect for you guys

Going through raising two boys like I realized how much you did for me and I don’t think I quite have expressed that yeah you need to tell them yeah I don’t know I I you guys are amazing parents like you guys did so much for me and my

Brothers and I don’t know if I properly thanked you for everything you did Raising Me In it’s about darn time nursing you for nursing me you nurs me 14 months 14 I know you did 14 I thought you did a year yeah you’re getting on a

School bus and it’s like come on you got to go on the bus I don’t know where 14 Caleb just did 14 and I and then I was pregnant with you so then I was like oh I have to like you were you know you

Have to stop no and for the women that can’t and it’s hard and like I know one of my sisters it was a difficult thing and they wouldn’t latch and you know don’t beat yourself up and but I thought it was going to be weird and like I

Don’t know if I can do this but I ended up loving it and enjoying it and because my mind kind of never shuts off and is always working it was a time that I could felt relax could relax and just en enjoy my time with a baby and not feel

Guilty that I wasn’t doing something were you working part-time while I was a baby or did you completely go full-time being a mom by then yeah so your whole until Josh was born which was four years later I work part-time so those two days that I went into work I pumped okay I

Went it was so weird back then it was in a restroom like they didn’t even have a room for me but it was the handicap restroom and it was big and there was a desk like in a chair for me to pump in there wow so I did that

Um with Caleb and you you know were you treated fairly as a mom who was trying to work like did you feel as if you had any loopholes to go through or roadblocks as someone who’s trying to work and also be a mom I think especially back then it was all

Engineers it was mostly all men I think they were respectful okay the only weird thing was having to be in the bathroom and now it’s not that way there’s a real room for a couple of the moms right where I did in this bathroom next door

Is a little room for these two women on my floor so that’s awesome and now they get maternity leave and there’s actually paternity leave like I had to use my sick leave in vacation wow like I wasn’t sick you know and but that’s okay I don’t I’m not mad

I’m glad things have gotten better you know for women today so did you guys have any troubles postpartum did you experience any postpartum depression or did you um have any challenges that you remember from that time after having kids and trying to figure things out

Afterward she no she did a I think he did a good job I know we were very aware of it there was times and you get headache once in a while but I’m sure there was probably some times when you were uh sad and I think it had to do

With the lack of sleep had a lot to do with it because there’s a few times that I remember you were just having to push through and she’s always been very very tough and uh amazing about not complaining and you know pushing through

So but I think it had to do with lack of sleep at least that’s way I think Caleb I got the infection with the milk oh mtis yes I believe that was with Caleb and then with Josh I had the spinal migraine yeah we’re leaving a hospital

Almost to the parking lot and a headache was just terrible she goes there’s something I can’t go home like this so it was like Thanksgiving day we were headed out and we went back they had to do something called a blood patch where they take a little bit of blood out and

Put it in your back and the headache goes away and that’s what they had to do for you but I had three babies you know I had three kids so I did Abby have that too did they do that okay I know Abby gets migraines a lot kind of like you do

No but realize I haven’t I don’t know why but that’s something that actually got better with pregnancy oh good I didn’t get hardly any migraines the entire time I was pregnant both times wow now you’re back to getting them again I think cuz you had again yeah you

Need to get pregnant again oh my gosh oh sorry yeah um but then Josh even though he was 105 it wasn’t as bad as Caleb because that you know me and my first but Josh I went into the doctor four weeks before his birth and I’m thankful the doctor

Was gone and the nurse practitioner saw me and she just got off uh maternity leave and she I walked in and I always look like Santa Claus it’s just like all here and she said oh my gosh that baby is in the tens and this was a a Friday

And I’m like you’re kidding and she’s like no she did all these different measurements and everything and she’s like yeah it’s in the tens I want you hear Monday to see the doctor and I’m almost positive you will be induced on Tuesday the next day and so on Monday

When I was um there the doctor’s like you’re not in the tin she’s crazy all this stuff then he looked at the chart did some measurements he goes he’s in the tins um I want you here tomorrow so we came came in he’s 3 and A2 weeks

Early Josh they um took the fluid to make sure his lungs were developed enough that’s all they did was test that we got a call and they said they’re developed come back in we’re going to induce and then he was born that night so you were 36 and a half weeks yes wow

Yeah crazy Griff he just got back home with his Uncle Josh my my brother’s taking Griffin on a a walk through the neighbor yeah so I’m also so curious because back in your day like what did you guys do for birth control because iuds weren’t really a

Thing right everything you oh that’s why you sleep in separate bedrooms no no separate bedroom no but didn’t you tell me like when I first mentioned an IUD to your mom you mom didn’t you say that back in your day there was a big scare with iuds well she thought you said IDE

Stop it improved explosive device or I buny joke dad that was good you’re wrong um I think it was more like tampons and things had caused different issues with women oh yeah you no your generation didn’t use tampons which like when Abby

I was like oh my mom like I when I was a kid and I was cleaning your bathroom and cleaning those hairy floors I always saw your your all your this up like you did it daily feminine products would be like next of all our cleaning supplies so I

Was like oh this is this is a pad moms use pads and so Abby using a tampon but I’m like this is a completely foreign thing to me this like a tampon I guess my mom scared me to death you know just because of her generation you know we

Learned from our moms but um yeah and then I tried the pill a few times but I it made me feel really bad I just didn’t feel myself and felt I felt fine yeah yeah like anyway but after three boys dad always said I will take

Care of it so you never once thought too maybe we want a fourth well I did and he said no no no oh you did well actually after the two kind of like you guys when you were exhausted when Matt was born dad was like I think this is enough I’m

Like oh no no no no you promised three you promised I said let’s just give it a time give it time and you did you gave it a decent amount of time four years they’re four years apart yeah I said eight I was like the other day I was

Like AB I was like you know I just realized we could have children in our 30s maybe we could have another kid 8 years from now so that’s I was think I think it’s better to have him closer in age well that’s what I thought too until I

Had to and then I was like oh I I can’t do this I think it’s easier as time goes by cuz when K was born he needed a lot of attention and then you were born and it was tough until 18 months you got to be about three two three years old and

You guys were entertaining each other and playing with one another and it took a lot of pressure off mom yeah but then Dad went and got the chop chop um we actually went to see the doctor right after Josh was born and he said he got

The chop chop I was like I cannot you call that Chop Chop she does and but what how do long do we have wait a year yeah they want you to wait about a year to make sure the baby is a year old before you go through the vasectomy

Because if something happens you might want to have another child and if you are B we know you’re not replacing it but some people are so sad it’s just what they want so we don’t want to rush into this they asked me when I got my

C-section if they wanted to tie my tubes wait actually they had yeah they said I had to sign the paperwork and I was like wait I was like no I was like absolutely do not do that crazy but then they said that because I’m So Young that even if I

Said yes they would have really really pushed back on it because you’re not right mind I know but isn’t that crazy well I thought about that with you getting an IUD again I thought well maybe I could just get a vasectomy because they they are reversible but I

Did some research it’s not 100% accurate though so you can super painful it is we have a friend that did oh gosh to reverse reverse reverse not the original oh okay reverse my friend he had it down he like like being kicked in a groin by

A horse oh my God I have no sympathy I’m sorry me neither sorry no no just wa I don’t blame you I don’t blame you just but no you will do it that’s least you can do oh my gosh of course I’ll do it I saw I still can’t believe like the whole

Concept of birth is just so crazy to me it’s just so Matt scarred more than me I’m so I’m so than thank f for Abby doing that because I I saw everything happen and yeah what are your what are your favorite memories of being parents favorite memories of us I think just

Seeing you guys interact with each other and then watching some those old videos yeah of how you reacted and I think U when we took the paci fires away from you guys and uh we had the binky fairy come and take the PA fires away and

Having a a flyer at the I think it was like Easter time saying that the baky fairy came took the pacifiers and you got these gifts and you guys you know bought into that and that was fun and just I don’t know just watching how you

Guys interact with each other in some of the videos that it was just fun I think your best memories I think are probably between when the kids are about two to about seven but then it’s just different fun things you know different the binky fairy that he’s real right yeah just

Making sure cuz we didn’t talk about that one that was mainly for Caleb he just not stop with the m key but it was fun watching you I was reliving this when you were in a show at the mun Sound of Music and I was scared to death and

You had a solo and this that show is the largest outdoor theater I think in the country right yeah it’s the largest outdoor musical theater in in North America and here I am I don’t know about 15 rows from Center watching you on stage and Performing and you were

Nervous W oh my gosh and you were up there singing and dancing and did a great job and this is right before he found out he had a tumor in his back so you’re in pain and you’re pushing through it and you did a great job and like two weeks later after that

Performance we found out you had a tumor you had to have major surgery in your back and uh I don’t know that was a very proud moment to see you up there on stage having learn all those lines and perform and just knocking out of the

Ballpark in pain and you just loved it you know it was just very proud of you something you told me uh a couple months ago was you miss when me and my brothers would hide in the kitchen when you came home from work we jump out and scare you

And you pretended to be scared every single time um and now with Griffin when I when I play with him and I jump out and scare him and he giggles and laughs like I can’t help but think about that same memory that you had with us we had

Like this half wall so yeah you could hear you coming in the garage and we’d hide behind you guys would hide behind the mom coordinated that she goes oh Dad’s home so hide and surprise him and you’d come out there hey Dad and it was

So fun and you blink and they’re 6’2 63 so sad but now I’m enjoying my grandchildren and uh enjoy seeing you guys together it’s a lot of fun yeah we’re blessed I think being a parent is going to make me more emotional I think it already has it has he started getting

A little tiny more emotional but but I’m telling you you’ll get more emotional as a grandparent and that’s that’s the thing my sister asked me she said I don’t get it like all of our friends that are having grandkids they’re like it’s so good it’s so I said well it’s

Because as a parent even though you’re playing you’re thinking I need to make dinner I need to fold this laundry I need to do this you’re not fully just there yeah you know especially me and it’s hard to shut my brain off but as a grandparent I don’t have to do anything

Else I can just play and do what I want you know what I mean I don’t have to make dinner I don’t have to do the laundry or whatever so that it’s it’s so awesome dirty diaper here you go it’s wonderful well you guys are amazing parents you guys are really really thank

You for always being there thank you having us on your podcast thank you for coming on you guys are the most supportive you guys are like the most supportive people of anybody for us and even when we even we had like 100 I think we had like they were sharing our

Videos on Facebook you guys shared our videos on Facebook and we had like 10 subscribers on YouTube that bumped you up to like 15 I think they it and also just think about how different each of your boys are they’re vastly different all three of them yeah

And you support each of them where they’re at so well and just encourage them and you’re just you’re willing to talk about anything with them and just always you guys also always seek advice from other people and are very humble in that way and just thanks really good especially especially you dad with

Advice I think you’ve always been very humble and asking for how you could be better how you could be a better dad oh yeah you ask that all the time just not just to your kids it’s just an honest question I really respect that that you

Don’t try to pretend that you have it all figured out um and I think that’s something that I learned as an adult like it’s almost as if there’s really no real adults in this world it’s as if the adults are really just the bigger kids

And we we act like we have it all figured out but we don’t you know well we made a lot of mistakes for sure but yeah I do think the one thing we did pretty good like you said um I had my three me and my two sisters the three of

Us are the same age difference of as our three boys like exactly and my dad meant it well but like wanting us all to be the same do this do this and I was like oh we want them to be individuals and their strengths and they all three have

Different strengths and they’re great so they can all be who they want to be and we’ll support that right I feel like that’s the greatest goal as a parent is to just like help your child find their own strengths and just how to build those up and and love that and love that

So we’re videotaping this the day before Thanksgiving so we have a lot to be thankful for so thank you for being a great um parents and uh thank you for all the things that you do for us and I’m looking over here so I don’t get

Emotional because I do that a lot and uh we couldn’t be happier and I’m so blessed to be out here in Phoenix visiting with you two of you and this will probably air sometime right before Christmas so merry Christmas everybody we love our family we love this opportunity to share our times together

Stay here let us know if my parents should start a podcast maybe maybe they’ll have to I think I’d get canceled in you’re too emotional well if you guys haven’t already gotten your what’s up dudes merch we’ll have it in the description it’s also available um like

I think there’s like the shop on YouTube if you’re watching on YouTube you can literally just like go right underneath the video and it’s literally right there um and it’s also at unplan podcast.com did you know that we have our own website now unplan podcast.com you on a

Call say that yesterday Isn’t that cool we love you guys and as always 3 2 1 peace out dudes