“By moving to 72 holes,” he said, LIV Golf is taking a proactive step to align with the historic format recognised globally.”
That’s it! He wants LIV to be commended for their move to, “align with the historic format.”
Former LIV Golf supremo Greg Norman. Credit: Getty Images
See, we revolutionaries who once gathered at the palace gates with flaming torches, wanting to burn the joint down, now want a pat on the back because we’ve discovered we’re traditionalists after all!
Your turn, Jon Rahm.
“LIV Golf is a player’s league. We are competitors to the core, and we want every opportunity to compete at the highest level and to perfect our craft.”
Yeah, nah. You just took the money, Jon, and everyone knows it. More lettuce, more bread, but hold the baloney. But do go on.
“Moving to 72 holes is the logical next step that strengthens the competition, tests us more fully, and, if the growing galleries from last season are any indication, delivers more of what the fans want.”
The growing galleries? Your crowds are so thin, sport, they’re bulimic! Your comp is bleeding billions out its arse, because no-one cares!
As to the views of our own Cam Smith – formerly the No.2 golfer in the world – there is no word. Sadly, and I mean this, I guess no-one cares either what the views of the fellow now ranked No.277 are.
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But I leave you with the words of the CEO of LIV Golf – perhaps now “LXXII” Golf – Scott O’Neil.
“The most successful leagues around the world – IPL, EPL, NBA, MLB, NFL – continue to innovate and evolve their product, and as an emerging league, we are no different.”
Yes, folks. Going back to 72 holes, just like mother used to make, is not only an “alignment with the historical format”, it’s also an “innovation”! And you think we’re submerging beneath the blood-soaked sand-dunes, but we’re actually still “emerging”.
Sorry, sorry.
Each month I try to hold myself back on the LIV train crash, but it just gets the better of me. I think what gets me is that none of them have the decency to say, “Christ this is an ugly train crash”. All we get is more press releases from the smouldering ruins, about how peachy-keen everything is. The only upside is they’re no longer from Greg Norman, and …
And, anyhoo, can that be the time?
Yes, folks, it is time.
Where are you, R360? You’re up next. The train tracks to oblivion await.
Toot-toot!
