Aries Spears ROASTS Shaq & Barkley With Impressions, 80s TOUGH & The TRUTH on Matt Rife

Comedian Aries Spears joins Byron Scott’s Fast Break for a hilarious, no‑holds‑barred conversation about basketball, comedy, and the changing times. From his spot‑on Shaquille O’Neal and Charles Barkley impressions to calling out the difference between 80s tough and today’s “soft era,” Aries delivers nothing but truth. He even weighs in on the Matt Rife debate, parallels between comedy and hoops, and why Michael Jordan’s mindset still sets the gold standard.

If you love the NBA, comedy, and unfiltered takes — this one’s for you.

🎯 Full of laughs, truth, and classic Aries Spears heat.

#Shaq #CharlesBarkley #AriesSpears #MattRife #NBA #Comedy #80sTough #MichaelJordan

Yo, what up? It’s your boy Ary Spears here chilling with my man. Catch me on Byron Scott’s Fast Break. It’s going to be bananas, man. We’re back. Another episode of Byron Scott’s Fast Break, Jason Wagers. Coach Byron Scott. And today’s guest, a master of impressions, a fearless comedian. Yes. And someone who’s been making people laugh for decades on stage and on TV. You know him from Mad TV, countless standups, comedy specials, his no holds bar take on the world. Give it up. Ary Spears is in the building. What up? What up? Thanks for being on the podcast. Yes. And thanks for having me back. This is a second time, brother. Yes, sir. Thanks for coming. Yeah. Different set of circumstances. Yeah. Much a much better set of circumstances. It’s it’s chill, man. Yeah. Yeah. I’m going to start here. Uh, Aries, uh, I saw a video of you recently. Mhm. Yesterday. Uh, I watched it yesterday. No, it was yesterday. Uh, you were playing pickle ball. Oh. Oh, no. This is different. Yeah. Yeah. I saw I saw him playing pickle ball, but he was wearing some Timberlands boots while playing pickle ball. Man, come on, brother. Explain playing pickle ball in some Timberlands. I am New York. I make love in Timberland. I shower in Timberland. I’m Tim. If you catch me at the beach, you going to see Speedos and Timberlins. Yes, sir. Proudly, my man. So, listen. Uh me and Aries goes way back, man. I had him on my um other podcast a while back. We hit it off and I’ve been watching this brother for a long time, right? And you know, you know, one one of the biggest things that you do that everybody loves is your impressions. Right. Right. And one of my favorites is Charles Barkley. That is that is one of my favorite impressions that you do. Tell us first of all h what does it take to be a great impre? I don’t even know how you say it. Impressionist. Yeah. What does it take to be a great impression? So I know the voice and all that, but what does it take? You know, I tell people uh my mother was a still is jazz blues singer. Okay. So, I always say that uh everybody’s voice is kind of like a note. So, it’s like people who can sing, they have an ear for tone, inflection, rhythm, cadence. Everybody’s a note. They know a note. So, it’s like, you know, somebody that can’t sing, if they try to sing and somebody who can sing go, you’re off key. Yeah. So, it’s it’s about being on key. So it’s like, you know, with Shaq, Shaq is is breathy and bassy. Yeah. So when you you know, as long as I score 2018, I’m going dominate. You got to get 2018, you get 2018, you ain’t going to dominate. Hey R3, if you talk [ __ ] about Angel, I’m going to punch you in your face. I’m talking about my sister. That’s my friend. I’m punch you in the face. Oh, I don’t usually do this, but I’m going to punch you in your face. So So it’s like whether it’s that or where, you know, Charles is a little bit more the tone is a little bit more. First of all, the f Let me tell you something, man. Kobe Bryant, uh, uh, LeBron James is the greatest athlete. Uh, I think it’s very interesting. So, or if I do, James Gandalf, everything is right here with my sister Jish. So, it’s it’s just it’s just hitting them notes, man. So, so the best part about this and what he does is not only does he have their voice down, but he has the facial expressions with the Shaq with his sideways the whole N yard. And Shaq with the eyes kind of crossed too, you know. Shaq hates that Shaq cuz when Jay Pharaoh does it, he exaggerates it so much. And I remember one time Sha was just like, I’m not cross-arted. Yeah. Which one is your favorite? Cuz I I mean I’ve seen uh Jay-Z. I’ve seen so many of them that you’ve done, but which one’s your favorite, you know? Uh I’m like I’m like a mother in the projects with a thousand kids. They all my babies, you know what I mean? I don’t really have a favorite, you know? No, there’s no Michael Jackson in my Jackson five, you know? Everybody’s Tito, you know what I mean? Does a crowd uh do you get people come up to you and say this impression of this is my absolute what you I mean you know uh when I’m on stage you know I I kind of save it to the end uh where I I put it to the audience hey any requests so you know people yell out whatever their favorite one is and then you know I oblige you know so pretty much you can do pretty much anybody I won’t say anybody uh you know you know one thing that bothers me is when I look on TikTok or Instagram and I see dudes doing impressions and they’re off key. But but everybody in the comments is like, “Oh my god, that’s amazing.” And I get upset and want to go, “What is wrong with your ears? Are are you tonedeaf? It’s not even close.” So, you know, if I can’t do it, then I don’t do it. Cuz my ego is not not such that I go, I can do anybody. I can’t do everybody. You know, I look at uh I look at Jay Farrell and I’m envious cuz he he does cats that I can’t do. You know, he he he does Kevin Hart. He does Chris Tucker. Uh both him and Aphon Crockett kill Chris Rock. Yeah. Aon Crockett does Maya Angelou. Wow. I mean, who does Maya Angelou? Uh uh Russell uh uh Russell Simmons. So, yeah, there’s there’s certain cats I look at and I just go, man, he got it. Wow. Um so, you worked with some uh uh some amazing people on uh Mad TV. Uh who pushed you to get you to like where you where you were on that show? Uh, you know, I think we all pushed each other. You know, I I tell people I I didn’t I didn’t I never went to college. So, for me, that was my fraternity, uh, comedically. Uh, cuz we were all, you know, fearless. And, you know, you had asked me before we got on about them revamping MAD and they tried and it failed badly. Uh, cuz the circumstances were different. You know, we we was in the in the middle of the 90s. This is pre political correctness, pre-wokeness, pre-sensitivity. So we we we went hard, you know, we went hard in the paint. So uh social media, right? So when they so when they revamped it, you know, we came on uh uh Saturdays at 11, right? You know, a half hour before SNL when they revamped it, it was on CW and they came on Wednesdays at 9 or 8. That’s that’s death, you know, at a time where you can’t push the envelope. you’re gonna put you on on a Wednesday at 8 o’clock. Yeah. And then on top of that, you can’t push the envelope. So, they didn’t have a chance. Yeah. You know, I saw something the other day and I talked to you about this earlier uh where you were on social media and you were kind of ranting uh about some of the people in the audience who were, you know, going on your social media saying all this stuff and being a little soft, so to speak. And you called it cat [ __ ] Cat [ __ ] He said, “Y’all soft as cat shit.” Uh, I just want I wanted you to kind of go over that again because you you’re a comedian. This is what you do, you know, and you engage with the audience as we talked about earlier and I and I love it. I mean, when I watched that, I was cracking up because Well, you know, we come we we come from that era. I mean, you obviously older than me. Uh, so, so the older you are, the further back you go. We come from that era, man, where, you know, look, I was born in 75. I’m an 80s baby. You know, you you you from that Richard Prior era. I’m from the Eddie Murphy era. Yes. So, you know, my my comedic cocaine is uncut. You know, my [ __ ] ain’t stepped on. No baking powder, no soda, whatever you want to call it is get the yo. My yayo is pure, man. So, um I go hard in the paint and and and it’s funny because that particular rant was about the fact that uh people are like, “Man, you being mean cuz it seemed like you lashing out to certain people.” And I’m going, I can’t believe that you guys need me to cut up your meat for you to eat like your mother used to do for you when you were a toddler so you don’t choke. Like, do you really need me to provide the context on this circumstance? I’m not mean ever for the sake of just being mean or lash out for people that pay to see my show. I’m responding to drunks, people that are inebriated, that are blasted, that are disrupting the show. I’m putting you in your place because I have you you you you’re drunk and you [ __ ] up my show. So, I I got to deal with you accordingly. That’s not about being mean. That’s about yo, I got to take control of this situation. So, you know, if I have to go there with you, dude, I’m I’m like the I’m I’m like the the Mexican cartel. Women and kids get it, too. I’m not holding back. You know what I’m saying? Once you if I’m going to go there, I’m going to go there. So once you startle me, I’m coming hard. So act accordingly and we won’t have a problem. But it’s like, you know, and I and I also said in a rant, listen to the people who go, you being mean, try the art of standup. You know, they say public speaking is one of the hardest things for people to do. Absolutely. And that’s with no one trying to make you laugh. So if you got a monologue or a speech, public speaking is difficult in and of itself just doing that. Now you got the pressure of making people laugh. So, it’s like try the art form and understand how hard it is to maintain a show for an hour and a half of straight hilarity without drunks. Now, throw drunks in the mix, but you want me to be polite, right? Come on, man. Yeah. Come on, man. I loved it. I just had I just wanted to hear your take on it again. It’s ridiculous cuz I saw it and I was cracking up. Um, okay, Aries. Um, so you’re from New York cuz you mentioned the Timberlands a little bit earlier. Uh you reside here in uh SoCal now. Yeah, since 93. Since 93. So what are your favorite sports teams? You know, listen, man. Um I always say I I I was and still am a Michael Jordan fanatic. Okay. So, you know, when he had his run with the Bulls, Chicago was my team. Now, once he retired, I didn’t really have a dog in the fight. You know what I mean? I I I I liked Shaq. So, when Shaq went to Miami, I kind of discovered Dwayne Wade. So, I like Wade. So, I was with Miami for a minute and then, you know, when LeBron was in Miami again, Dwayne Wade, uh, but but once once that ended, uh, I really don’t, you know, I watch basketball sporadically cuz again, I don’t have a dog in the fight now. I’m not really a football guy except when I’m playing Madden on PlayStation. My two favorite sports is is boxing and basketball. So you see he didn’t say New York or LA. He went Midwest. He went Midwest. I ain’t going I ain’t going to Lakers. I’m not a Knicks guy. I’m not a Listen, I’m I’m If I’m really being honest, I’m I’m a proud bandwagon jumper cuz I like to party. So wherever the Hot Wings is, the drinks and I got both jerseys on. Who who who wins? When I once I find out the winner, I’ll take off the loser. I’m ready. So, um, that’s probably Okay. So, let me ask you this cuz we know you’re an MJ fan. Yeah. Okay. And we also fanatic, but I also know that you you you can be very objective. Uh-huh. Right. MJ, Kobe, LeBron. That order. In that order. In that order. Okay. So, MJ, you got is the greatest. The greatest. You got Kobe right behind him and you got LeBron third. So, if you had a a starting team, so MJ would start. Absolutely. So Kobe would come out the bench. If I had to put together a starting five, I got Magic at the point. I like that. I got Jordan at the two. I like that. I got Shaq at center. Mhm. I like that. Big man. I got Bird at small forward. And I got Tim Duncan at power forward. That ain’t a bad list. Yeah, I ain’t lying because there’s a lot of people that sleep on Bird. Let me tell you something. I Part of what bothers me, and I don’t know why, but it’s become cool now for this young generation to diss our legends. Yes. Yes. You know, if you don’t listen and and and people that know me know my Michael Jordan verse LeBron [ __ ] but whether you like Michael, who I think is the GOAT, or who or whether you like LeBron, who I think is the third best ever, at the end of the day, some of the [ __ ] that people are saying is beyond disrespectful cuz it it borders idiocy. Yeah. Jordan couldn’t go left. We done with the 90s. He played with plumbers and truck drivers and the competition was garbage. This is what we’re doing now. It was more physical back then. More physical. Not to mention and and and listen, I can go all day on this [ __ ] but not to mention when you look at the the the all 82 games. They didn’t do rest management. And when they celebrated, they didn’t use goggles. They took champagne ski to the face. They took the burn. You guys know my story then. They took the burn these sensitive [ __ ] Now you need goggles. Yeah. Come on. That’s Oh my god. So I’m going tell I’ll make it super quick. So I worked for the Lakers. I was a team attendant for the Lakers and we won our championship in Philly and we didn’t have goggles and um Shaq uh he says, “Jay, grab me some champagne bottles. I got to do this interview. Grab me some. Have them ready for when I walk in. I was like, I got you, big fella. I got you, big fella. He comes into the locker room. I’m standing right there. I’m being sprayed and everything. As soon as he comes in, of course, all the other players got they just shooting the champagne all in his face and stuff. And he I handed him the bottles and he raises the bottles in his hands. He’s getting squirted and squirted and drops one of the bottles. Now he’s 72. I’m 5′ n about say they drop it on your leg. I got a permanent scar. That might not have been an accident. No, I shack. I got a permanent scar right here. Uh, and I literally damn near bled out right there in Philadelphia. We going to talk to Gary V. You could, you know, you could be a very wealthy man right now. Shaq, no goggles. Shaq dropped the bottle on my head. Yeah, I dropped the bottle on me. Eris, let me ask you this. Anybody ever cuz you you’ve impersonated a whole lot of guys. Anybody that you ever impersonated ran into you and was like, “Hey man, that [ __ ] wasn’t funny.” No, but uh the most nervous I was uh once upon a time ago, they had me on as a frequent guest on Best Damn Sports Show. And I remember uh I was doing such a good job that they had me for like two months for the whole summer, every show. But then towards the end of my run, they go, “Yo, Mike Tyson’s coming.” And I said, “Dude, I know I’m done, but you got to let me be on that show. I’m a Mike Ty Mike Tyson, Muhammad, my two favorite boxers.” So, they do this whole big buildup, a countdown. They they get the the camera to come when the limo comes. They walk them watch them walk out the limo in the elevator down the hall. Cut to I’m on the panel and it’s me, Mike, uh, Michael Irvin, John, Sally, John Cru, uh, forget the the host’s name, Rose, but we’re all on there and Irvin is like, “Yo, here is Duke Tyson for Tyson. Mike, chill out.” Cuz this was this was this ain’t Mike Fune Mike. This ain’t the mic he is now. Here’s what it’s like, especially around that time with Mike. It’s like being sitting next to an unchained lion. Even though it’s been trained, it’s still a lion. Yeah. So, at some point, nature can kick in and the lion can go from looking here to going, “I’m about to m you nig.” So, I do the impression and Mike’s just looking at me. And then after three uncomfortable seconds, he’s like, “Oh, that was that was pretty good. That’s pretty good.” Because I’m different now. But if you would have did that back, you know, I you know, but it was all right, man. And that [ __ ] was Oh, that that must have been uncomfortable. It was very uncomfortable, but uh you know, it was a moment. Yeah. The baddest man in the world at that time. For real. The bad world. Still I still wouldn’t. Why you throw that fight, man? Has any of um at any of your shows, has any of the people in the audience tried to roast you back? No, but I’ve had people try to fight me. Serious? Oh, yeah. You ain’t after a show or during during a show? Listen, you ain’t trying to like come on stage. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Had one dude in Connecticut waited for me after the show was going to stab me. Some lady that was at the show saw him pull the knife out and call the police. Yeah. Listen, you’re not doing comedy right unless somebody want to hurt you. You know what I’m saying? Yeah. What? Yeah. You got to know how to touch them nerves. I I got a thing that I call the nuclear button where it’s like I only press this button if it warrants it. Because here’s the thing. If it warrants it, the crowd is on your side. If it doesn’t warrant it, you’re being mean. So, and listen, when people get drunk, sometimes the worst drunks are women cuz they just really get outrageous. Mhm. But there’s nothing worse than when a woman is drunk and her man is sober, but he won’t take control of the situation. Like, come on, soldier. I’m a dude. You a dude. I’m up here working. Yeah. Handle that. Yeah. Control your So, if he doesn’t handle it, and I only say this when it warrants it, cuz this this make [ __ ] want to fight you. I go, “Hey, man. Control your [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] nigga.” [ __ ] control your [ __ ] because not only have you insulted her, but you insulted him by calling him that. So it’s like you put a man in that position, it’s like, “Oh, I got the Will Smith this motherfucker.” So, you know, but like I said, the audience goes with you if it’s warranted. Yeah. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Oh, that’s crazy. Wow. Damn. [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] Yeah. So, tell us something. From a personal standpoint, you know, all of us have had setbacks in our lives. Tell me something that’s happened to you on a personal standpoint that a lot of fans of yours don’t even know that made you get to this level that you were able to overcome. you know, I I don’t know that there’s something about me that they don’t know because I’m I’m pretty transparent and uh I don’t mind being forthright about who I am, the mistakes I’ve made, the the mistakes I might continue to make. Uh because first of all, I’m not going to give you that ammunition to think you going to come up with something and you know, eight mile me. So, so anything that there is to know, I’m you going to already have heard it from me. But, you know, some of those things that I’ve done, uh, you know, I wish I could take back. Uh, and and and some things I’ve done, you know, unfortunately, I’m still paying for. Uh, y’all know what that is. Uh, so, you know, my only thing is I hope that I could continue to ride it out and weather whatever the storm is. and the people that know me uh and can tell that I’m genuine uh and and that I’m you know uh I’m a good dude uh at the end of the day just continue to ride with me and we going to let nature play its course you know talking about nature and being good uh good dude he just said Aries we have a sponsor uh earththings.com yes um Byron I I took your advice and and I used the uh I know you were using the mat I’m using the mat so I went and uh plugged up the pillow. Oh, okay. So, the pillow case. So, I used that this past week. I feel great, by the way. So, thank you for that. Yeah. Yeah. And I I don’t know if we have them here, but Aries, I want to get one to you, brother. It’s a mat by Earththing. And this mat, all you do is you put it on the ground, take your socks and your shoes off, you plug it in, and it has some type of electro stimulation that comes through your body that helps heal you. It’s a wellness company. They’ve been in business for over 20 years. Uh, they’ve been doing this for over 20 years. If you want to see some of the other products that they have, go to earththing.com. Not only pillowcases, they have tenny shoes, they have sheets. I put the sheet on. Oh, you did? A few days ago, I said I told the wifey, I said, “Baby, I got to put this sheet on. See if it helps us sleep better and it helps with the inflammation and all that stuff in your joints.” And I will say this, I I I got on it one day and it was right after golf, right? And I my my right foot was hurting, you know, it was just aching. So I I just just like I am now. I was sitting there and I have the mat there, got my socks and shoes off and I’m watching TV. 45 minutes later, you know, I get up to go get me a snack and everything. I come back, I sit back down, I was like, “Oh [ __ ] no pain.” So you you you put your bare feet on there and it heals whatever is alien you. Matter of fact, they giving that mat to Shaq. [Applause] They should socks come off. need. First of all, they got to make a bigger mat because I’m going tell you the mat I have it is it can fit probably up to about 14T, you know. So, they either going have to turn it the other way or he’s going to have to be, you know, get a new one. But earthing.com, you can go on their website and look at all the products that they have. I’m telling you, I will swear by this. Now, I just got to check out uh the sheets. And again, it’s going to take about a week or two to kind of get that feel, but I’m telling you, the Met I love to death. I want to ask uh you a question, man, cuz this this is something that uh blows me away. Like, how old are you? 64. 64. Like, you and Reggie Miller and certain dudes look like y’all could play today. Yes, they can. You can’t. If you if you wanted to, you couldn’t. Hell no, I can’t. Aries, I no I can’t. I look when I was 36 and I was uh thinking about retiring at that time I was like I can’t do this no more. And and the reason I say I couldn’t do it no more because of the way I got ready for a season. The type of workout I put myself through to get ready just to go to training camp to be ready to play your 100 plus games in that 300 days. You know that’s every other day we playing a game. So you got to understand that, you know, you’re playing a game almost every other every three days and then you’re practicing. So every, you know, two out of those three days, you you playing basketball, right? So it takes a toll on your body. And at 36 and all the playoff games that I played, I was probably playing like I was 42 body-wise, you know? Wow. So it it just took a toll on you. And I and I knew the way I worked out to get ready for a season, I was like, I can’t do it. Now, fast forward 64. Hell no. I look, if I could, I I would go out there and steal [ __ ] Steal some of that money for, you know, for 10 minutes of play. Okay. So, you obviously couldn’t play in an NBA game. Correct. But if you wanted to, you go to like a pickup game and destroy somebody, right? Uh, yeah. Give me give me time, you know, pickup game. If I’m playing against guys that’s, you know, in their 40s and up. Yeah. Oh, they they they going to get the business, you know. And you got to give me a you got to give me a week or two because now I got to get in basketball shape, right? You know, I got to get my timing back. I got to get that rust off. But yeah, now right now I don’t play no ball. I play with my granddaughters and that’s it. And they 13-1, you know, being being again the the Bulls fan that that I I I I was. And with MJ, I remember I I saw a great quote where somebody said, uh, MJ, if the 72-10 Bulls played the Warriors with KD, who would win? And he said we would by like I don’t know two three points. Yeah. And they said why so little? He says because we’re 60. Wow. Yeah. Wow. And that was a great line too. I was like wow man he may not be able to play but he could coach the hell out of the game. So straight up NBA I still shoot that [ __ ] too. NBA sleeping on him. Is that like the last thing to go is the jump shot? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. It you know what to be honest with you that never goes. Oh, okay. That’s something I’mma have. The only thing that goes is the range. You know, I back in the day, you know, we had Pat Riley had a game where he would say, “Okay, anybody can make it within that circle, you know, that half court, that circle where you had the jump ball. Anybody can make it from there.” You know, no practice today, right? So, all my teammates, they throwing [ __ ] Yeah. And Magic would say, “No, no, B, baby. B, you go last.” Cuz I was shoot I was, it was a jump shot for me. So, you know, that was easy, you know. So, I would be just like, “All right, practice off. Let’s get the hell out of here.” You know, and now three-pointer, still do that, but I can’t go back there like that anymore. So, the range gets less and less the older I get. And you can still dunk? Hell no. At least, you know what? I I will say this. The last time I dunked, I was 52. And I had told myself when I was like 40. When I hit 50, I want to still be able to dunk, right? Bam. We’ll still be able to dunk, right? Hit 51, bam, dunked it again. Hit 52, dunked it again. Then I said, you know what? I’mma tear something if I keep trying. Right. Achilles, ACL. I said, you know, I’m tempting faith. So, I ain’t tried since. So, comedy. Yeah. Standup comedy. 90s, 2000, post pandemic. Um, it’s really all different. Like, it’s kind of different phases. And nowadays, the hot comedians, it seems like they’re constantly messing with the crowd. And it it seems like it’s it’s a new thing, but it’s it’s not it’s not cuz you were doing it back in the day 15 plus years ago. Rickles was doing it. Yeah. Yeah. No, it’s not new. What’s new is social media. So, you know, number one, people do it for two reasons. Uh one, because if if you’re not known, it’s a chance for you to get out there. And number two, you don’t want to burn your material. So doing crowd work is expendable because it’s off the dome. Whereas if you do material now, you burning through what could be your set. So those are the two advantages uh to doing crowd work. What if somebody can’t do crowd work as good though? Oh, well then you’ll be exposed. You know, that’s the good thing is if when you’re not good at something, time will tell. Yeah. You know, and and you know, people that [ __ ] on crowd work usually are the ones that can’t do it. Can’t do Yeah, you know, uh because it’s like, let me put it in in in in basketball terms. Jordan was great cuz he had no weaknesses. He had complete game. He could shoot, rebound, basketball IQ, play defense. He do everything. So, it’s like, if you want to be a well-rounded comic, how could you not? You know what I’m saying? Tell stories, be political, be blue, uh maybe do impressions, even though that’s not really a requirement because everybody that’s its own unique talent, but crowd work, that’s all part of it. Um, and and I even like this analogy. Uh, you can be an award-winning Hall of Fame quarterback by simply standing in the pocket. Allah Tom Brady, Brett Favre. Yeah. But if you but if you can do crowd work, which I which to me is like uh, [ __ ] your playbook. This is off the dome. So if you can Michael Vickett and leave a pocket, you’re twice as deadly. Yeah. Now again, everybody can’t do it. and and and and does that mean that you’re any less of a comedian? No. Some of the greatest comics out there may not be good at crowd work. And that’s fine. But if you can do your playbook, your material, and you can Michael Vic, you do twice as deadly. You know what I mean? And and when you had brought up Matt Refe, let me tell you something, man. Uh people are especially dudes are jealous of Matt Refe for a couple reasons. number one. And I I Matt opened for me once upon a time ago and congrats to his success. But I told Matt always said to him, “Hey man, it ain’t it ain’t about are you going to be a star, it’s when you got four things working for you. You’re white, you’re good-looking, you’re funny, and you’re male.” And in Hollywood, them the golden keys. You know what I’m saying? There’s a lot of dudes who are good-looking but ain’t funny. So you’ll be a leading man. Right. If you can be funny and good-look, look at Ryan Reynolds and you white dude. So you you you about to it’s gonna happen. You about to get paid. And so people will sit there and and and [ __ ] on Matt for the crowd work. But I go, “Hey, listen.” To me, Matt is like Sugar Ray Leonard and De La Hoya. Don’t let them looks fool you. That boy got comedic hands. You see what I’m saying? He ain’t just pretty. That boy got comedic hands. So again, when you take all that into account, young, good-looking, white, male, funny, selling out arenas, women love him. What you think going to happen? Jealousy. Yeah. So, a lot of dudes [ __ ] on him, they’re jealous. Yeah. Cuz he got it all. Yeah. So, get that man I mean, give that man his respect, right? And flowers. And that’s that’s the thing that I hate is is you got so many guys that [ __ ] on other people instead of just congratulating. Let me tell you something. I get called the biggest hater. I’m like known. You look up word hate. This my picture especially when I do Vlad TV. But what kills me is and again this to me is a testament to this moist ass generation. Yeah man. I love that word moist. I have an opinion. Right. Why am I not allowed to have an opinion? What you are entitled to? Exactly. And the funny thing is, if my opinion went in the direction of everybody else’s, so there’s no problem. You can’t have it both ways. So, as long as I agree, then I’m good. But if I disagree, I’m a hater. That’s [ __ ] Yeah. I’m opinionated. I have an opinion. And if I don’t like something, I’m telling you I don’t like it for whatever reason. I don’t like it. I’m allowed to do that. That’s your opinion. We overuse this hate [ __ ] to the point of nausea. Are you [ __ ] serious? Yeah. That’s what I’m telling you, man. I’m glad I came up when I came up. I’mma come out with a t-shirt that says built8s tough. And I’m going to have on the back of it a list of [ __ ] we did as kids. Played in the woods, [ __ ] with our dirt bikes, jumped off ramps, played football with no pads, tackle like in the street. Dr. Ho. Drank from the water ho. heard your mom and dad [ __ ] and you listen closely. You know, it’s just this moist [ __ ] generation, man. Makes me sick. Oh [ __ ] So, Eric, let me ask you this cuz, man, I I love your your your take on life in general, you know? And uh I I want to know your five top comedians of all time. And you might have six, seven, eight. I don’t know. You might have three or four. I’m glad you uh give me your top five cuz you know people usually go what’s your Mount Rushmore? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is always difficult for me because I always go you know there’s the Mount Rushmore and then there’s the Mount Olympus where the gods are. Now the the the gods are Prior Murphy Cosby. Uh could say George Carlin but the Mount Rushmore is a little bit more today. Uh but but my top five would be um Eddie Murphy, uh Dave Chappelle, Chappelle, Richard Prior, uh Patrice O’Neal, and Bill Bur. Yeah. And it’s unfortunate because a lot of people don’t know about Patrice, but Patrice was a monster, dude. Good boy. Oh man. Patrice was a dude. Patrice. Patrice O’Neal. He was a dude out of Boston. Really? Oh, you never heard of Patrice? Never heard of Patrice O’Neal. Oh my god. He died uh of a heart attack uh when he was uh 42 I think. But this [ __ ] So he was he in the 80s 90s? No. No. He he was he was amongst that he was amongst the Dave Chappelle’s. Oh really? You know what I mean? But a lot of people don’t know about him because for the same thing I’m talking about he was deemed bitter angry and in Hollywood and and you know what here’s the thing too in this business. They love jazz hands. Mhm. They love [ __ ] And if you’re not that, right, which I’m not, and you’re aloof, they take aloof for [ __ ] And when I’m not on stage, I’m very stoic. Yeah. I like having a good time. I like being funny, but I like it to happen organically or around people that I’m comfortable with. Yeah. If I don’t know you and I’m in a setting that I don’t feel like comfortable, I’m very quiet. So people go, “Oh, he’s he’s asshole.” Yeah. Oh, Hollywood, the angry black man. I got to smile every goddamn 3 minutes. Just smile when it’s warranted. Do you think that has uh excluded you on getting uh roles and films and TV and stuff? That that and my mouthpiece. Cuz while it’s my biggest attribute, it’s also my biggest detriment. Mhm. You know what I mean? Cuz I cuz I like Patrice, I say what I say and I and I I I just I know I’m hold and I I I speak as honestly as I can and and and in life and in show business. That’s tough. Can I play uh Devil’s Advocate for a hot second with you? Um Eddie Murphy. Eddie Murphy was a comedy a comedian and you know he had raw delirious two of the funniest where he openly admits he goes if I had it looking back I would do it different now oh that hurts my heart Eddie keep the coke uncut for reals right come on man he he made it in in big Hollywood made all the money made the movies time it was a different time yeah today is different today is different you know and Listen, I I I I at the end of the day, I firmly believe in me and I believe in my product. I believe in my coke. So, I’mma keep doing it the way I I feel like I’mma do it cuz my And again, cuz not to beat it up, but since we you know, sports and [ __ ] I always go listen man, I always have Michael Jordan dreams, but Dennis Robin habits. You know what I’m saying? I want to I want to be Madison Avenue. I want to be McDonald’s. But I like [ __ ] and I’m scared and alcohol. So going out right after the show and party until 4 in the morning. So So my thing has always been my hope is that someone in Hollywood will fill Jackson me as Rodman. Somebody gonna need a rebounder. Somebody gonna need a [ __ ] to play defense cuz I know I’m not going to be Michael. That’s Kevin Hart, right? Kevin Hart’s Michael Jordan. He’s Michael Jordan. But my hope is not not Dave Chappelle. Not Dave. Yeah. No, cuz Dave is a little is Dave gets gritty. You know what I mean? Dave got an edge to him. Kevin is and I mean no shade to Kevin. Cuz I’m going to say this man is phenomenal. The box office receipts don’t lie. The turn style receipts don’t lie. But if if if comedians was liquor, I’m Hennessy. Kevin Hart is Capri Sun. Who don’t enjoy a nice cold Capri Sun on a weekend? Oh my. And that’s not shame. I thought the Capri song was a liquor. Mixing them together. A spritzer or something. No, he’s he’s he’s safe. Kevin is safe. He’s likable. He’s not a threat in any way. Again, if I don’t smile, angry [ __ ] So, you know, like I said, I I don’t know when. I hope, you know, I hope at some point somebody goes, “You know what? I know what I’ve heard about him. I know the rumors.” Yeah. You know, whatever. I like the [ __ ] I like him. I’m a Rodman. Come on. Yeah. So, that’s my hope. Yeah. I I’m I love the fact that you’ve always been authentic. You’ve always been yourself. Not apologetic, brother. And I And I understand that, like you say, it’s worked for you and it’s also worked against you. Yeah. And I understand that. I feel that. you know, and and I know I like being authentic, man. It’s fun. Yeah. You know, it’s cool to me. You know, say what’s on your mind. I’ve been that way my whole life. I’m going say what’s on my mind. Be honest with you as much as I can. Transparency is always something that I’ve always believed in. So, hey, if you ever saw this, one of the funniest things I ever saw, and I don’t know if he just if it almost just it was so quick that he he just missed it or whatever, but did you ever see the the moment where Magic was on the Breakfast Club and Charlemagne says to him in regards to, you know, when he found out when he, you know, he goes, “When you found out the news magic, did at one point did you ever stop and go, it was that dirty [ __ ] in Sacramento? minnow and magic when you you know you think that sometime and then it started dying. It was gold. I never saw that. I never saw it was gold cuz like he did magic like it took a second to go. This [ __ ] got me. Well, you know you think that but that happened. Oh, it was great. It was great. All right. Uh Aries, I know you got to get out of here. So, we got some uh rapid fire fun questions. Uh, we’ll hit them. You can hit us with the uh one one answer or you can elaborate as well. I’ll let Byron kick it off. Best city to do stand up in. And you you done them everywhere. So, best The best coast is the East Coast. Okay. But if I had to say a city, DC. DC. Even though Philly and New York is right there. And I was going to say why the East Coast to the West Coast. So elaborate a little bit on that. No, you know what? The West Coast is great, too. Yeah, I love East. I love West. I even like certain parts of the Midwest. I refuse to play the South. I stopped doing the South. Them [ __ ] [Laughter] So, no Atlanta, you know, I play No, I play Punchline and they just opened a No, no, they opened the Helium in Alpharetta, Georgia, which is like 30 minutes outside the city cuz I I really didn’t like Atlanta. But this new spot is beautiful. So, I love going there to Helium and Alpharetta. But Mississippi, uh, Birmingham, Tennessee, them [ __ ] don’t know we free. [Laughter] We can read now. Pick up a book. If I hear one of you [ __ ] go, “Is you? Where is you going? What is you doing? What is you saying? It’s R. God damn it.” All right. Okay. We going to get back to it. I know you got to go. Here we go. Uh, your go-to pre-show ritual before your comedy show. Uh, put the headbuds in and just zone out to music. What’s your playlist? I got a little bit of everything. I like everything, man. I might listen to some, uh, Miles Davis, John Cold Train. I might listen to Michael Blue, you know. I might some DMX, uh, Jay-Z, uh, some Nirvana. You know, I like everything, man. I stay with some some white music in my list cuz that’s how you get white women. What’s on the writer? Um, apple cider vinegar, extra virgin olive oil, and uh, orange juice. No Hennessy. Oh, hell no. No, dude. I stopped drinking brown liquor and switched over to clear. Oh, so that’s true. Huh? Brown will make you brown will make you frown. Yeah. White will make you right, man. All right, I got another one for you. Uh, if somebody was to do a biopic of you, who would you want to play you? It feel like the Well, see, I want him to be funny though. He got to be funny. I don’t know cuz I It would be It to me it would feel cliche and corny to go Michael B. Jordan. Right. Right. You know what I mean? And I just hear the naysayers, [ __ ] you be lucky. Michael be uh I don’t know cuz he’d have to be funny. He has to be funny. So that’s why that’s why I always said people people go, you know, they want to make the Richard Prior movie. I go, that’s a tough cast, man. Cuz not only does a person have to kind of resemble Richard, which who is that? You got to be funny. So you can’t just hire an actor cuz an actor ain’t going to bring to it comedically what a comedian can bring, right? But at the same time, a lot of comics don’t necessarily make great actors. So how do you fill that void? That’s a tough one. Yeah. Yeah, that’s a tough. That’s why I said, you know, listen, if they ever made the Michael Jordan story movie, who you going to get this 66, right, will look will be uh uh show you the skill set. But let’s be honest, good looking as [ __ ] Yeah. When Mike was in his prime, got to be able to move that swag that you know, come on. First of all, they ain’t going to find nobody 66. He going to be 61. It would have it would have to be player. Like, dude, I was such a huge fan of winning time. I was disappointed when they took that off. Yeah, me too. But one of one of the things I loved about it, I went, “Yo, from a casting standpoint, dude playing Magic, dude playing Kareem.” And of course, I Norm Nixon was my manager, so I know his son Norm Nixon Jr. even dude playing Bus. I went, “Yo, this casting is bananas.” Was John Riley? Yeah, Johnley. All right. Uh, one comedian you never want wanted wanted to follow on stage or want to follow on stage. Oh goodness. Well, I’ll tell you this. I’ll follow anybody. Uh, cuz I know pound for pound I’m nice too. There you go. There you go. But I ain’t going to act like I ain’t going to be nervous. Uh, Dave Chappelle. And again, if he was alive, Patrice O’Neal. Patrice O’Neal. Yeah. I’m going go look up Patrice, man. I got to check this out. I got I got to check this out. I’m serious. I got to check this out. Yeah, it is funny cuz people used to uh one of the knocks on me was uh Aries don’t like like don’t let black comics open for him or perform with him. And it was like, no, you got to be the right kind of black comic because I’m not going to sit there and and Alex Thomas had the best way to put this. He was like, you’re not going to sit there and and and come before me and you end your set with and that’s how you eat corn out of [ __ ] booty hole. Give it up for your headliner and now I’m supposed to come talk about my trip to France. You know what I mean? So, so you got to be a certain type of But I always also tell people, listen, man, I’m 36 years in this Youngest comic to ever do Dev Jam. 16 Showtime at Apollo 17. I’ve earned my stripes. Right. Right. I’m the main event. [ __ ] I give a [ __ ] about the undercard. You know what I mean? You’re the undercard. Whoever you are, right? The [ __ ] I look like it’s the main event care about the undercard, right? [ __ ] out of here, man. Right. I feel you. I feel you. So, Aries, what’s next? I know you’re doing a lot of things. You got a show you got to fly out to right now already, but what what’s what’s going on with you? What’s next? You know, I got my podcast uh called Spears and Steinberg. Uh available on all streaming platforms. Uh also, uh on YouTube under Spearsberg Pod. Please hit like, like and subscribe. Uh we about like I think like 640 something episodes. And I always tell people, man, uh, listen from the beginning. Binge. I know it’s hard, but it’s like in terms of following the growth, the characters that I create, the impressions, the callbacks. It’s like a really good book. You want to start from the beginning. I know it’s a lot, but treat it like masturbation and potato chips. Once you start, you won’t stop. It’s that good. And we didn’t get on YouTube until probably 2 years in. So, all the episodes ain’t available on YouTube. So if you really want to peep it from episode one to current stream it uh on all the streaming plat platforms Spears and uh Steinberg and uh you know I did a movie that you know I don’t want to jinx it. So I just I did a movie that uh recently with Leon and uh uh Elise Neil called Wild Card uh that just was at Essence Festival and you know I’m on God’s good humor so we’ll we’ll see. Yes sir. We’ll get you out of here on this. Aries, one word that describes Aries Spears. Fearless. Fearless. You heard it right here. Aries Spears on the Byron Scott Fast Break. Yes, sir. Appreciate you. Thank you for watching Byron Scott’s Fast Break. If you like what you saw, here’s some more videos. And while you’re at it, don’t forget to like, comment, and subscribe.