Best moments from Bryson DeChambeau’s first episode of his new series, Caddie Talk, featuring Kevin Hart!

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I will use my caddy. Yes, sir. I will use my caddy. Why am I here? To help me. To what? To caddy and help me. Help you, man. That’s your line, right? I like that starting line, right? Yeah. Yeah. It’s my first putt for a second. Hey, shut that [ __ ] up. We’re putting What the man? I got you, buddy. You’re the man. I got you. Get in there. Get in there. Perfect. Get in there. Good par. Great job. That’s a good par, huh? That’s what I’m talking about. Let’s go. Turn it off. Let’s go. Okay. Listen, what I’m going to need you to do is pay more attention when I say something like do do what I’m saying. I’m sorry. That’s a great shot. Go. By the way, I know what I’m talking about. Go. Go. Go. I know what I’m talking about. So, what I want you That’s a That’s a whole Okay. So, what I want you to do, I just want you to listen to me because I saw it in your face. You almost questioned me. That’s a close to me. Bryce, what we have to We have to agree right now. We have to agree right now that you’re just going to listen. Okay. Like, seriously. Like, the whole eye thing that you just gave me right now, not good. I’m listening. Okay. Yes. Let me do my job. Like I told you, let’s go 60. And you double tipped me. You was like, you was like, well, and I was like, don’t do that. Okay. Don’t do that. I mean, we’re talking about hold. Why are you driving? Come on. Come on. Seriously. Hey, let’s focus. I mean, do I know what I’m talking about or do I know what I’m talking about? Go. Please get there. You’re right there. What do you mean? [ __ ] Oh, maybe. Right. I smoked that. That was a great shot. I got to believe. I I believe. I believe. If I get one more question, I’m be honest with you, I’m walking. How do I do it, right? The magic man. I don’t know. I just I just know what I’m talking about. Break. Hold. God damn it. Son of a gun. Did you do what I asked you to? I did. I just didn’t hit it hard enough. It was a little too slow. It didn’t go fast. I Well, we talked about the the the the strength and hit before. That’s my bad. I feel like we should have discussed that, right? Yeah. But talk about the strength and hit like, hey, what am I hitting? How hard am I hitting? Uh what are you suggesting? And then maybe I give you a little information before you do what the you want to. What are we doing? Oh my gosh. I said halfway. I told him where it was breaking. I told him what to do. He didn’t listen to me. And then he gave me a celebrity shot. And I had to show him what it was. It’s not that hard. This is the uh buck. Hey, Bryce. What? Are we having social time? Are we like What are we doing? I’m I’m getting bucked up. Okay. Did you ask? No. Sorry. Did you talk to me? No. Can I get Get over here? Can I get bucked up? Let’s talk about the shot. Okay. Break. Break. Break. Break. Son of a gun. That was a good roll. I guess I guess my success today means nothing to you. No. Okay. Clearly it doesn’t. It does. Clearly I’m talking to myself. Why am I here? To help me. Tell me. Tell me again. To help me. To what? To Caddy and help me. Help you, man. I get it. Let me do my job. Okay. It’s a [ __ ] show out here. God damn. Is that good? That’s great. Perfect. That’s great. That’s the first time I got to see who the he really is. Where’s that club at? I got to do 50 push-ups. 50 push-ups, buddy. We don’t have all day for these push-ups, son. We got golf to do. I will not put my clubs in my bag. I will use my caddy. Yes, sir. I will use my caddy. I understand why I have a caddy. He’s here to help me. I do not have to carry all the bags because I have helping hands around me. I will use my help. If you do not understand it, your arms will be [ __ ] bleeding by the time we’re done today. Yes, sir. You won’t have no goddamn shoulders. 50. Get in there. Oh. Oh my. I mean, you got to be God. Now, somebody make me a peach cobbler pie, but don’t let me have any. I think we’re going uphill, so you got to put a little on it. Just a little bit. Yeah. Okay. Hit it. Well, I said put a little on it. Oh my gosh, Bryson. Not that. That’s my fault. Let’s just talk about Let’s just talk about a little I don’t know. Let’s call it comprehension. Like, you didn’t put anything on it. Nope. I I was an idiot there. I mean, that was pretty [ __ ] embarrassing, man. Yep. Don’t worry, I’ll make this putt. Come on, help me. Can you edit that out? Huh? Do you want to edit it out? No. Should your fans see that? Let’s go nine. Let’s go nine, but don’t don’t put the max on it. Well, 9’s 185. How far did you say it was? This is 190. 190. But I feel like you’re going to crush it regardless. But like like I’m not looking for you to overshoot the hole. No, but it’s better than being short, right? Yeah. Cuz you don’t want to be in the water. Water’s a stroke penalty. Well, you’re not going to be in the water. That water’s like 15 yards off. Yeah. So, you’re not going to be in the water. That’s true. It’s common sense. It’s a little Oh my gosh. I did it again. Get right. Oh my god. It’s in the water. Oh, it’s my bad. What did I ask you to do? Oh my gosh. I just said to you I said put a little goddamn draw on the ball. Did I not say that? You did. So why do we end up over there? Cuz I’m an idiot. Do it again. Tell you what, I didn’t come out here to put seeds in grass all goddamn day. What are we going to do different? I’m going to draw it. Thank you. Yes, sir. Yeah. Thank you. Unbelievable. Thank you. Why did I just do that? Well, I don’t know cuz that’s what I asked you to do the first time. What did Kevin say? Put a draw on the ball. What does he do? The opposite. What’s the ball do? Splash. I told him where the [ __ ] water was. He said he knew where it was. Obviously, we’re not looking at the same goddamn thing. Cuz if he was, he would go, “Oh, yeah. I see why you’re saying put a draw on the ball, Kevin. That’s what I’m going to do.” Why the [ __ ] am I here? No. No. Son of a gun. Oh, that’s horrible. All right. Well, what did I learn today? Everybody can’t drink. Everybody cannot drink. That hole just went to [ __ ] And then at this point, he’sing up my score. Let me take a second to myself just to calm down because I shouldn’t take this out on him. Right. Mistakes happen so that you can correct them. To every problem, there’s a solution. What’s my problem? Him. What’s the solution? Talking to him calmly. It’s my bad. Where do we finish at on that hole? Bogey. Where are we supposed to finish? Birdie. Let me write it down. Do you like leaving birdies on the table? No. Does that make you feel good? No. It doesn’t make me feel good. I feel like crap. You know what you call a blown birdie? A dead birdie. A dead birdie. That’s a [ __ ] dead bird. Might as well take a goddamn gun and shoot a bird out the sky cuz that’s the we just did. Not Little John. 50 push-ups, buddy. When you get a chance. I almost did it. 50 push-ups, buddy. When you get a chance. When you get a chance. When you get a chance. And if you wouldn’t put the glove in there by yourself, you wouldn’t be doing this. God damn it. Thank you. Get your [ __ ] Nobody’s got sympathy for you. It’s a driver on a par three, huh? I don’t need it. They want to give it to me because they don’t know how hard I’m going to smash this ball. I told you I should do it with Looks like you need it cuz you’re I don’t need it. Yeah. I’ll tell you what. Give me my Give me my eight. No, a seven. Driver to seven. I’m going to go seven here. Hit one driver first. Let’s see the driver. All right, let’s see it. Okay, just I told you guys. Let’s make sure you aim first. Oh, let’s get the seven. I think the seven will be better. I told you. Don’t be uh afraid. Be aggressive, too. Oh, I’m going be aggressive. That’s right. So close. Last one. Last one. One more. One more. Chase, lose your attitude. All right. And the level of judgment that you have is honestly ridiculous. It’s his eyes. It’s the eyes. No. Just see what he’s doing. Every time I look bad, he’s got these beady little eyes looking at me full of judgment. It’s like, you know what, Chase? I’m going to smack this [ __ ] out the park just for you. No pressure. Here we go. Yeah. I was smoked. Wow. It’s a little left. That’s some power. All right. That’s That’s pressure one. Kevin Hart, how will you [ __ ] yourself, Chase? Jesus Christ, man. Oh, yeah. You going to put that back in there without the goddamn cover? No, sir. Give me the Can I have a Can I for two seconds? Can I help you just for two seconds? Excuse me. What? What the is happening? Why are you such do everything? I know. What am I here for? I got you. Do you have me? Yes. If I see you put another club in that goddamn bag without me, we got a bigger problem. Okay. You understand? Yes, sir. stupid at this point. [Music] Pretty good. Where’s that? You’re still right right in front of the bunker. You’re right though. Yeah, right in front of that bunker. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. You’re right. You think you’re better than me? Well, I got the zoom so I got an advantage. Issue. What’s your issue? How about you whisper that to me so I can say it? I mean I mean Jesus Christ, Chase. said, “Yeah, if you got that type of information, clearly you see I’m struggling to find a ball.” Whisper it. Come on. Hopefully. Is it still rolling? Oh, am I talking to my self? 15 ft. I mean, what the was that? Jesus Christ. Oh. Oh, that was good. That was awesome. Okay, but you know what you did there? You listened. Okay, but what you didn’t ask me is how much steam should I put on the ball? Again, that’s my fault. Like, and that’s just a question, by the way. I just want you to get in the habit of asking that question. Even if you think you know, I might say the same thing that you’re thinking. Maybe we go back and forth about it. But what it provides is confidence, right? I mean, I’m I’m getting more confidence as we go on, right? Because I’m watching you execute, but more importantly, I’m watching me deliver. Yep. I’m watching me deliver. That broke, right? God damn it. What the Oh, that’s bad. Sometimes you got to save your partner. And you’re going to do that right now. Come on, Kevin. Sometimes you just got to save his Son of a gun. Took too much on it. All right. It’s okay. I put too much on it. That’s all right. You just smoked it. Yeah, that adrenaline was flowing. Yeah, it’s okay. I’m not putting the clubs back. No, but I could have used a little help and you telling me to slow the ball down. Way to be there for me. That’s it. Was completely wrong. The green wasn’t up here. No, it’s okay. Hey, look. He’s doing his best. Chase, stop giving him crap. Okay, hold on, Chase. You know what? Chase, give me a second after I do I want I want a little pow with you, buddy. 101. What’s your issue, man? Huh? Okay. I knew where it was and I was checking to see if you did. You’re the one with the zoom lens. I’m the one with the naked eyes out here. Okay. You got on glasses and the camera. You see that? Yeah. See where it is? No, that’s what you saw. I didn’t see [ __ ] You didn’t see? No, that’s all you. What the [ __ ] are we doing, Chase? I’m just confirming for you giving you the credit. I know that, but I’m asking you what you saw so I can get up there and act like I saw it, too. You didn’t see I’m out by myself. I’m on an island. That’s what you wanted? You can’t you can’t have all the credit balls on you. Like if you sabotage me, just say that. Just say that. Got it. I think I definitely saw Let’s go up there and figure out. But I I saw it. You know what nobody does in golf? Nobody smashes the ball and grabs their after. Bow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That’s what the I’m on. I love it. Right. Like that. Like that right there. Hit that. Bow. That’s what the I do. Like like that thing there or like after you hit that [ __ ] 100% smack after you smack that. Uh-huh. Nature boy. Yeah. Cuz you in nature. Uh-huh. Fly. Hold on. Wings land television. I just gave you TV paper. Another bird. Uh, no. It’s a par4. So, it’s a it’s a par. He’s been with me for four years and doesn’t know what a par is yet. Jesus Christ. Chase, do me a favor. I want you to go find a nearest trash can and I want you to get in it. I want you to [ __ ] get in it. All right, then. We’re we’re we’re going to another club. Okay. Okay. What What do you want me to hit? Let’s go to the to the one above. Yep. So, that’s one that’s 175. Yes. Uh, okay. Hey. Hey. Next time, let me go get the clubs. You’re doing too much. Okay, go get it. Well, well, I said next time you’re there. All right. All right. Like, if you already did the job, I can’t do the goddamn job. If you don’t want me to goddamn do my job, then don’t bring me out here, man.

1 Comment

  1. Kevin was great. The comedy the fun and Brysons face when Kevin would start yelling was awesome. Improv at it's best.

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