Guy Dossi/Calaveras Enterprise file photo
The July 21 senior golf contest at La Contenta Golf Club in Valley Springs consisted of team play, where teams counted one best ball on par 5s, two on par 4s, and three on par 3s.
The winning team consisted of newbie David Sewell, “The Godfather” Louis Luna, fashion plate Ray Pezzi, and the Crown Prince, Carlos Lourenco. These thieves shot an outrageous 22-under par and strutted around like they were the studs of the golf course. Most of them had their wives straighten out that concept when they got home.
Luna played with a new golf ball given to him as a present. Was the ball legal? It’s being investigated. Pezzi shocked everyone by showing up all dressed in white. He looked like a bride on her wedding day.
There was a two-way tie for second. Matt Theodore led the way for mellow Mike Mendoza, incredible senior statesman Ken Phillips, and Earl Watkins. Watkins didn’t stick around to celebrate, as he had to get home to clean the house before the housecleaner showed up. Matching them at 18-under par was newly crowned club champ David Wood; Russ Hart, who secretly bribes whoever sets up the teams to play with David; smoking-hot Jon Puckett; and newbie Bill Sandberg, whose game is really coming on. These top three teams keep winning so much money they are starting up their own bank in Valley Springs and are seeking investors in their startup.
Rounding out the winners was the fourth-place team of lefty Jim Shepard, who has a great attitude on the course; former club pro golfer Robert Bradley; and George Dillon. Dillon used a brand-new driver recommended to him by club pro Tyler Knight and, for the first time all year, hit all four par 3s in regulation. Unfortunately for him, he didn’t enter the closest-to-the-hole contests.
In the closest-to-the-hole contest on No. 2 from the whites, Theodore beat out Wood for first. From the golds, Pezzi had the shot of the day – 3 feet, 4 inches – to easily sail past Steve Del Cielo’s second-place effort. On No. 4 from the whites, our world-walking explorer Mike Johnson narrowly beat Dave Sewell for first. From the golds, hairstylist Frank Elizondo squeaked by Del Cielo.
On No. 8 from the whites, Wood took all the treasure, being the only one to hit the green. From the golds, club treasurer Ken Polk easily beat gold tee champ Gary Stockeland. On No. 13 from the whites, carefree Dave Mullen beat the always dangerous Theodore. From the golds, Pezzi continued his onslaught and became the day’s biggest money winner. He didn’t know he had so many friends. That rascal Polk took second.
