In this episode of The Golf Parent Podcast, I sit down with Lanny Bassham, an Olympic Gold Medalist and mental performance coach, to explore how junior golfers can develop a champion’s mindset. Lanny shares the mental training system that helped him go from choking under pressure at the Olympics to dominating his sport with 22 world titles.
We dive into golf psychology, mental toughness, and confidence-building techniques that can help young golfers improve their golf swing, golf practice, and tournament performance. Lanny reveals why the top 5% of athletes prioritize mental training and how parents can support their child’s junior golf development without adding pressure.
If your junior golfer struggles with performance anxiety, self-doubt, or inconsistency, this episode is packed with practical golf tips, visualization techniques, and mental exercises to help them play with confidence and focus.
Whether your child is just starting with golf lessons for kids or competing in junior golf tournaments, this episode will give you the tools to help them succeed.
🎧 Listen now and give your child the mental edge on the course!
Takeaways:
The mental game is crucial for excelling in sports, but it is often undervalued and neglected in training.
The top performers prioritize the mental game, while many others focus solely on skill development.
Parents play a significant role in shaping their children’s self-image and should focus on building a positive self-image through constructive feedback and solution-oriented discussions.
Imprints, both positive and negative, influence self-image and performance.
Starting mental training at a young age can have long-term benefits for athletes. Passion is a crucial factor in sports, and parents should support and nurture their children’s passion.
There are three levels of participation: interested, training to compete, and training to win. Parents should match their level of participation with their child’s.
The mental game is essential in sports, and athletes and parents should prioritize mental skills training.
Overcoming fear and negative self-talk is crucial for success in sports. Developing a mental management system can help athletes stay focused and consistent.
Parents play a significant role in the mental coaching of their children and should seek resources and support to improve their understanding of the mental game.
Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Importance of the Mind in Sports
02:51 The Undervalued Mental Game
07:53 The Difference Between Top Performers and the Rest
10:50 The Role of Parents in Shaping Self-Image
17:56 Constructive Feedback and Solution-Oriented Discussions
21:17 The Power of Positive Imprints
29:37 Starting Mental Training at a Young Age
32:02 The Importance of Passion and Competition in Sports
36:27 The Role of Parents in Supporting Children’s Passion
39:26 Understanding the Mental Game in Sports
41:45 Overcoming Fear and Negative Self-Talk
47:02 Prioritizing Mental Skills Training
01:00:47 The Role of Parents as Mental Coaches
Links:
Website – https://withwinninginmind.com
https://mentalmanagement.com
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there’s a couple of things that are super important that parents don’t realize that every time the parents that the kids think about something they they they tend to become that so every time you think about talk about or write about something you improve the probability that you can do that you will do that it becomes like you to do that it creates an imprint so every time I think about a problem I’m I’m improving the probability I’m going to get the problem welcome to the golf parent where you get access to the best mind in junior golf for joining us today I’m happy to be here so let’s let’s start here how important is the mind when it comes to excelling in sports well let’s let’s talk to the people who are winning I think that 95% % of uh of winning is done by only 5% of the participants so I’ve spent about uh this time next year will be 50 years of being a full-time full-time studying this and a full-time mental mental performance coach um and so when I talk to them and I asked them this question what percentage of golf or let’s just say golf for minute sure perent because I worked with tons of tour players so the U uh what percentage of golf is mental I get a big number back the number I get most often is my sports 90% mental and I ask him the second question well since you’ve been playing golf since you’ve been doing this what percentage of your time and money have you spent on the thing that you think it’s 90% it’s a very low number well that doesn’t make sense if if you were in business and and you had 90% of your Revenue was going to come from 10% of your clients you take real good care of those clients and this is uh a situation that’s that’s common in sport is that um the mum game is is valued by the top performers but it’s it’s it doesn’t get in the training scheme of most people that are going through learning how to do a sport I mean I had the same problem uh I started out uh working on form on on skill that was it and I thought I thought that that performance was was only a function of skill the more skilled you are the better you do and you don’t have to do anything else it wasn’t until I uh actually made the United States team made the the United States Olympic team that uh uh I go to the Olympics in 1972 And I’m not ready mentally I’m ready technically uh my teammate ends up winning the gold medal and uh I’m training with him every day and my skill is is equal to his and uh I I should have no problem competing in the games but I just choked under pressure and uh I I lost so so many points in the first half of the tournament that uh uh I thought there’s no possible way that I could medal and so then pressures off and and I and and I shoot really really good the rest of the second half and so good in fact that I get a silver medal but I come I come home uh frustrated because I blew my chance at a gold medal because I didn’t take it take a real good look at the mental game because that was what failed me and I think it fails a lot of folks and I was actually in uh if you take the top Five Percenters uh sometimes I will ask the top Five Percenters this if you think that’s that uh golf is 90% mental or 95% mental uh then what what about the uh the the second 5% the second 5% that’s just underneath the 5% they have the same equipment the top 5% the same TR passion for the sport the same coaches the same experience the same number of of times that they they’ve played than the top five perc there’s only one difference the top between them and the top five perc they don’t win well i’ spent three years uh in 1972 I’d spent three years on the US Team without winning anything oh I got better all the time now it one of the reasons I didn’t win was because my my my teammates happened to be the best in the in the world at that time we kind of dominated Olympic shooting at that time Olympic rifle shooting and so uh I I had the benefit of of of training with the best in the world but I knew that something was missing and something was missing was the mental game and so when I came home from the Olympics in 1972 I decided I want to know what the winners are know but the winners know about this midal game now the rifle Shooters weren’t going to tell me anything uh they had a shoot against me next next week so I spent the next two years on on the phone back in those days uh Ryan we didn’t have cell phones we had answering machines and so I would leave an I got the phone number for a world champion or Olympic gold medalist and I would I would send them a message on their answering machine said uh you don’t know me but I’m a silver medalist in Olympics and you’re a gold medalist and I need your help please call me about and they always did and I asked them what do you know about the game What Makes You Different why why are you at the top 5% that doing 95% of the winning and everybody else is struggling what’s going on and I got some information nobody had the whole program but everybody had a piece of it and uh after a while I started connecting the dots and I said there’s a system to this there’s a way to have a consistent mental performance under pressure and you can be over trying and overthinking and and pressure and all those other things that were holding me back this is why you’re not winning and so I upgraded to this system I called it mental management and I upgraded to it and uh the next World Championships I went to I I won I won three events and uh and then the next Olympics I win the gold medal and and uh pretty much dominated my sport for about four years years and uh then started teaching this this system and and golf found me in about 2004 and uh I work with my first PJ Tour player in uh 2005 which is Rich beam and uh and then we uh and then I I’ve worked with a lot of different different performers since then I’ve got a couple of clients that are competing this week in the in in the Olympics and in uh um in Paris uh a shotgun shooter an Archer um and uh but it’s it it doesn’t really matter what sport you’re you’re doing that uh everybody at the top thinks the middle game is really important I I have a few questions here uh Lanny the first is I think Golf and and shooting there’s a natural partnership there because they’re they’re similar in the sense that you’re talking just micro micro micro little adjustments can make the difference between you know hitting the bullseye or not hitting the bullseye between hitting you know the green being two feet from the the pin or you know being in the bunker from the mental standpoint What similarities are there between your background in shooting and and training Olympic shooter and then the mental side of golf well golf is a shooting sport and uh it that when I first started working with with players uh I was amazed I didn’t know I I I I was a a spectator of golf I would watch it on TV but I never played it I still have never played it and there there’s a there’s a good reason why I’ve never played golf and what’s that it’s addictive it certainly is and and I I I don’t need another add addiction right now uh any of addictions right now uh but uh it it’s it’s it’s one of those things that if I ever did it I would I would want to do it all the time and uh uh and I probably made a big mistake picking up a rifle I should have picked up a golf club because it certainly would be be financially rewarding uh whereas rifle shooting is not most Olympic sports are not financially rewarding and but rifle shooting or shooting is the second most expensive sport in the Olympics to train for and uh the the most expensive sport is equestrian and uh but uh but one thing that I noticed when we started uh this business and uh started teaching the mental game uh we began to teach coaches and uh who saw the benefit of adding a mental component mental training to their uh their Technical Training their form training and uh I when I got out of the army uh um and uh and started my own company I started an international shooting school and I started doing something that was kind of different at the time is that uh I started teaching my mental system to athletes at the same time that I taught for them and what I found out was that by teaching some mental skills early on they learn form faster and they when they go to competitions they’re they’re much more consistent than competitions which it reduces the amount of frustration that athletes have by having high scores one time those scores the next time and and uh and I I realized that how important it is to teach the mental game at the same time that you teach form and then as we began to teach coaches or even anybody in anybody that we teach the most common thing that people say when they finish uh training from us is uh that uh I wish I’d known this sooner well I wish I’d known this sooner too well when it’s soon sooner is is when you’re first starting sooner is it’s it’s when you’re still at home uh most people start their sport of choice while they’re still at home and um so I have a question for uh your audience or for you and you’re going to represent your audience here uh what’s more important to you what your children accomplish or who they become well 100% uh who they become because I believe that what you attract yourself is based on on on who you are like like in other words what you’re get you you can’t get anything in this life without first almost embodying that frequency or that what you want on an internal level first so any sort of accomplishments would ring Hollow um or at least they would be fleeting if you’re not um if you’re not that from the inside and so for me in my focus it would be teaching how to want to trct and manifest what you what you want like how to learn how to learn how to learn how to perform um and then those skill sets then could be translated into anything that you choose to do that would be my thought that’s that’s interesting I I I have that’s rare when I get a parent that says what they accomplish but accomplishment is what the world re rewards accomplishment is abcdf in school accomplishments how many votes you get in an election accomplishments uh whether you win a tournament or not it’s first second third on the leaderboard it’s gold silver bronze and the Olympics it’s it’s it’s it’s what’s rewarded accomplishment is as often rewarded because it’s easy to measure accomplishment has a number associated with it and it’s easy to measure uh this guy is better than this guy because his numbers are better and uh but but uh the real important things according to parents who they become is uh is very difficult to uh to put a number on how do you put a number on on character how do you put a number on confidence on commitment on trustworthiness for uh and so so the world doesn’t reward these things directly they’re rewarded in indirectly and one of the things that I found out when I did this survey of Olympic and world champions is I found out that they think differently than the people who don’t win and one of the things that I discovered was that performance doesn’t matter what it is academic performance uh sport performance is a function of three mental processes uh the first one is conscious I Call Conscious process it’s basically your thoughts you change your thoughts and everything changes so that that includes what you’re going to think about before during and after a a golf shot what you’re going to think about what you’re going to talk about what you’re going to write about all of those things are your thoughts okay then the second one is certainly your skills and you you’ve got to have skills and you got skills uh are determined by good information the best you can have the best you can afford the best equipment that you can afford and a lot of reps and uh that’s what that’s how you make skills but there’s a third component that I didn’t see early on and most of my clients don’t see and that’s the that’s the becoming portion and I call that self-image that’s how you fit into the world how do you think you can or think you can’t you’re right you know oh Henry Ford said that you know or somebody said he said that and uh but but it’s true the self-image is what you think that you can do it’s how you fit into the world am I um am I good player am I am I comfortable am I confident that uh all of that stuff and um and the parents play a huge role in this because if I I think that uh if here’s what’s again really kind of interesting is that all of these world champions and Olympic and tour players I’ve never said tour have never heard a talk to a tour player that didn’t tell me that golf was 90% mental and uh but if if that’s the case then uh where are the mental coaches I mean you you go to a high school and I live in Texas and you go you go to a high school and there’s there are golf coaches uh in in high schools here there are football coaches basketball coaches track coaches and sometimes lacrosse coaches swimming coaches all kinds of coaches but you’d be hardpressed to find a midal coach anywhere but that’s not true there are thousands of M coaches they’re the they’re the they’re the people who take the players home from the game the parents are the most important mental coach that a child will ever have 90% of their character their becoming who they become is shaped by the time they leave home and so most of the time the the parents are the ones that are shaping that because they spend more time with the children than than than the coaches do and sometimes the parents can without knowing it can actually do more harm to their kids development than than uh than good and they they love their children but they don’t it’s not their fault they just don’t know what what to do so Landy let’s let’s unpack this for a second because I think that what you’re saying here is of utmost importance can you give listeners and parents some examples of some unconscious ways that they might be holding their children back when it comes to developing their self image that um you know things that will not be serving them moving forward and more importantly some examples of what they could do to help build that positive self-image well first thing that that parents need to know is that that um the self-image is built by imprinting imprints are are things that cause the self-image to grow or Shrink all right so so what are these imprints the kinds of imprints well what they actually do certainly certainly does in other words if they hit a good golf shot but imprints it’s like me to hit a good golf shot if they hit a bad golf shot it’s like me to hit a bad shot bad golf shot so so what you do causes the self-image to grow and shrink and if you hit if if you do something well a lot of times uh you probably develop a self-image that I’m good at this and if you have trouble a bunch of times uh I’m not so good at this and so uh that’s that’s true but what’s what is not so well known is that and everybody knows that you when you’re around other people you tend to become you’re around and that’s my parents are so concerned about about who their kids hang with because it does it does does shape their self-image and uh their behavior but there’s a couple of things that are super important that parents don’t realize that every time their parents that the kids think about something they they they tend to become that so every time you think about talk about or write about something you improve the probability that you can do that you will do that it becomes like you to do that it creates an imprint so every time I think about a a a problem I’m I’m improving the probability I’m going to get the problem every time I complain about a problem I’m improving the probability I get the problem okay so how does this happen so here’s here’s my example okay your kids come home from uh the game you pick them up uh from the game or maybe you watch the game and you’re writing you’re you’re taking them home after the game and you and you and you one of the worst things you can do is to is to ask your kid how’d you do how’ you do we live in a negatively charged world where people often talk about what they did wrong instead of what they did right well give me a give me give me a a sport that if you’ve ever played a sport when people come off of games and people ask them how did they do do they talk about what they did right more or talk about what they did wrong more we always seem to be focusing on what we didn’t do well even if we had a good game it’ll be that one or two shots we missed or that pass that we missed it seems like our brains are wired to focus on the negatives not the positives knowing that knowing that you would think that parents would know and they just don’t know that to do this that’s a wrong question to ask that’s an open-ended question when you ask something how somebody how did you do they can answer or I can talk about what they did right or they could talk about what they did wrong so I’m I’m going to give you three as a as a parent three magic questions to ask your kids the first question would be uh what did you do well well what did you what did you do right let’s get them talking about what they did well what what did you enjoy there’s a lot of different ways to ask that that same question but you want your kids talking about what they did right first you want those imprints and I can give you some science to prove this but what the con the conversation I’ll tell you what the kids are going to remember they’re going to remember the first thing you say to them and the last thing they say to them the middle part not so much okay so so that first that first question is really important that last thing that you say that before you you leave them is is really important and so what you want to do is is get them talking about what they did right first the second thing that you can do is is we don’t ignore error but we but don’t don’t talk about the problem talk about the solution to the problem every time you talk about the solution of the problem self-image grows every time you talk about the problem it it self-image shrinks because it becomes like you to make the make the error so one of the things that that uh like take this example that uh a report card comes in and uh and and parents are talking to their kids about a report card and uh and well last six weeks you made a b in this in this class this six six weeks she made a d what was wrong what AR aren’t you studying aren’t aren’t you aren’t you doing your homework aren’t aren’t you paying attention in class have you been playing too much golf have you not are you not paying attention to your student to to your studies what’s going on what’s wrong what you you just you just put a lot of imprints in into your kids that uh uh they you just improve the probability that they’re going that they’re going to continue to do all those maybe they’re not doing those things but if you talk about it so whatever you feed the self-image that’s what it that that’s what it becomes so don’t talk about the solutions I was I was lucky my father was my first rifle coach and he was a solution-based coach he told me that that um whatever whatever you want to do there’s only one best way to do it and you’re going to your job is to find out the one best way and when I shot a bad shot he didn’t tell me what I was doing wrong he always told me here’s what you need to do here’s what we need to do here’s what you need to do that we’re going to learn about everything we can about that one best way and when we don’t do it we’re going we’re going to say what what do we need to do what do we need to do what do we need to do I we didn’t know anything about self-image when we were first doing this but but uh my dad knew it was the right thing to do and uh that was that was huge so so when you’re talking to your kids about their their mistakes they’re going to want to talk about it try to steer them to what the what’s the solution what’s the solution don’t talk about the problem don’t be frustrated or complain about the problem what’s the solution what do you need so what a way to do that would with the second question so after we ask him hey what went well what like what like focusing on the pauses for the first question would the second question be something along the lines of what do we need to work on in practice tomorrow like would it be something like where it’s it’s solution based yeah they’re they’re probably going to bring up the problem and and you say well what what’s your solution what what’s ah so so get their mind off of focusing just on the problem if you bring up a problem you better have thought out a solution or or come up with a solution to always balance it out yeah talk about the solution and the reason why you’re doing this is because you know that that the self-image is you’re you’re an agent of self-image growth in your kids or a an agent of self-image shrinking in your kids and nobody wants that nobody wants to have the self-image shrink and but you can cause them to shrink by by by talking about the problem all the time instead of talking about the solution the other the Third thing that I would ask them is what are you going to do about it and and get them to don’t tell them what what what they they should do about it but ask them what they’re going to do about it that’s genius because you’re getting them to enroll and take ownership of the the solution themselves and instead of instead of you dictating top down what they’re going to have to do which you’re only going to get like partial buying if they come up with solution themselves that’s very wise you what you don’t want to do and and my book parenting Champions covers this but you you don’t want to brag about what you did uh too much because um you you you what you don’t want and the hard the hardest thing for me was to raise boys that were Shooters when I was Olympic gold M because why is that it well I didn’t want them to be Shooters I wanted they were pretty good soccer players I wanted them to play soccer I didn’t want them to set my shadow and uh because it’s it’s it’s a hard hard Shadow to stand in like what what are you going to do you’re going to win two gold medals to to the best dead I mean what’s the probability that they’re going to be able to do that and but they were persistant and uh they ended up I ran an international shooting school when they were teenagers and so they uh they they wanted to they wanted to learn how to shoot so okay and U well one of my sons I had twin boys and one of them uh both of them won full r scholarships for shooting in in college and so uh it wasn’t a bad thing that they that they picked up shooting but but it it was hard on them uh with with my me as their dad and a way there were advantages and disadvantages to that and I guess I understand what you’re saying where it’s like what you want to do is you don’t as a parent you never want to be for obvious reasons from like an ego standpoint and I mean it’s not a good look on you anyway if you’re like I did that as a as a parent but I think the downstream effect on your child is also that you’re you’re disempowering them because if if you’re the one that’s that’s like the result of their success well then there’s no power that they can do it it’s like oh it was like because Dad’s helping me practice or because my dad is a shooter that’s the only reason and it doesn’t allow them to kind of again that self-image that you talk about build a powerful and a confident self-image um this all makes sense Okay so Grandpa Lanny I’m going to drop off uh Chase to you for an entire Chase is my son for an entire summer he’s he’s a he’s a blank little mold of clay what would you do then if you know that he’s got um an aptitude towards Golf and an interesting golf what would you instilling him what how would you help kind of set him up to have a positive self-image and to best Bally have the best chance to succeed later in life how old is what would those Summers look like how old is he well why don’t we say um maybe around like five or sixy old and then maybe a 10 to 15y Old okay let’s talk about let’s talk about 10 or younger I would I I I would I wouldn’t train him now golf is kind of a a special special case um go golf is kind of like um kind of like gymnastics uh gymnastics is worse though golf golf is is is great B the reason I say that is that gymnastics you got to start them at about 4 because when they at puberty you’re you’re you’re you’re getting in your career is almost over because you don’t see any very many 40-year-old gymnasts Olympic gymnasts no but you can see a lot of successful 40y old golfers and golf is great great sport because you can do it young and you can do it but uh you play Forever yeah so let’s assume then that they’ve been playing um you know pretty consistently at an early age here’s here’s here’s how I want to answer that question if you’re if you’re I I think that you if you want to play division one golf which is which is kind of an essential to if you want to play on the PJ tour uh so that division one golf what that means is that you’re playing at a university you’re playing on a golf team the university that uh that that has a high high level of of competitors to play with and uh you if you want that uh whether you can afford the scholarship or that’s even you’re probably going to spend more money preparing your kid to to get that scholarship than what the scholarship pays but uh uh you’re going to start young with with a player and especially if they have a passion for it uh you can’t you can’t instill passion you can’t make passion happen but but your kid has passion for it I mean anybody that gets up and and says oh I want to I want to play golf today well what you know I I can I remember a good example of passion I give you two examples the first example was uh I’m I’m old enough to remember when when Earl Woods brought a three-year-old tiger on the Mike Douglas show on telev Mission yeah very famous Cliff yeah and he was hitting the ball pretty good at three and uh so Mike Douglas asked Earl Woods uh uh well how how often do you prati does he practice and he says practice I can’t get him off the golf course you know it’s time to eat son uh one more ball dead you know it’s getting dark son one more b ball dead you know this is this is an example of passion when I was in college um I don’t know I was passionate about about about shooting but but I went I went to school I went to the range first in college and I and I shot and then I went to class and then I went came back from class and I shot again and uh I would have majored in rifle shooting if they’d have given me that major but they didn’t have a major in rifle shooting where I went and so uh I I probably trained twice a day four days week five days a week something like that because training was not something I had to do training was something I got to do and so I love that I love that distinction in your mind that it’s a it’s you have a kid who who eats sleeps and and and wants to do this and has a passion for it uh I think the that parents if they can afford it they need to meet that passion uh and uh and be be um because it doesn’t happen often uh it’s it’s it’s it’s rare to get some a kid who is really so internally motivated that I would call them passionate by the way there are there are there are three participation levels there the first participation level is I’m interested and interested is people that they they don’t they not interest they’re not going to compete I mean I’m interested in shotgun shooting I’m I have a shotgun I I have a club membership I go out to the club in frequently like most PE most golfers are interested in golf the most golfers don’t compete and but interested is a good place you you you you got kids that play baseball on the weekends with their friends or or play some shoot some hoops or or do some things but they’re not they’re not in they’re not committed enough to compete so the second the second group is their they’re they’re they’re in the competition group and they’re they’re training to compete and and you can ask a little bit more of of of the kids there my people in the in the compet competition area need need to have lessons and need to have uh need to be uh have good equipment and things things like that uh but there’s there there’s another group there’s another group called the uh they’re they’re interested and that the group beyond that are training to win the training to win guys are passionate and the training to compete guys are not going to beat the training to win guys because they’re not passion the training to win guys are going to do the things that are necessary to to to to win and the training to compete guys are not willing to do that here’s the challenge that I have for parents make sure that your participation level with your kids is equal to their participation level the worst thing in the world is for parent to be passionate and the kid is interested when can’t you get why can’t you play why don’t you want to play on the team and and pushing pushing pushing push him into to a participation level what is sad is that there are there are this can happen occasionally that you have a kid that’s passionate and the child the parent wants to be passionate but they don’t have the money to to support a passionate child to be able to I mean I I have clients that uh my my my client my my my son Roy uh ended up being a 12-time national champion a world champion a rifle shooter so he did okay but but he trains uh he trains almost exclusively junior golf and uh he he is providing training at at a Golf Academy that that uh parents move from all all different parts of the world to go to to have their kids go to that Golf Academy and and it’s uh just because Troy’s there and because the coaches are there and they make sacrifices but uh I think it’s it’s important for parents to meet their children’s participation level uh and and it not everybody is going to be passionate about sports but I think everybody should compete in something one of the things that I en encourage my parents parents to to to think about education this way that if your children are competing in something they’re going to learn something about themselves that they can’t learn any other way than to compete life is one big comp competition and if if they don’t learn how to handle success and how to hand handle failure and how to how to deal with with with uh this and the people skills that you learn through team team sports and the the self-reliance that you earn uh that you learn through individual sports you there are no no subjects in school like that uh as a matter of fact I I wrote a curriculum uh called for for high school students for a a semester long elective called what the winners know because did you take a did you take a course in school on how to think no but I’m like where do I sign up for that course okay so Lenny you have to share what’s the so what were some of the um the highlights that like like what do winners know that the rest of us don’t well first first of all you’ve got to know that how performance is generated that perform you got to control your thoughts you got to it’s not just skills you got to control your thoughts and you got to you got to have a self-image that builds that builds that that habits and attitudes that build self-image let’s stop there for a second things one of the most important things that I can share with you about that please is how do you how parents need to teach their kids how to to respond to what just happened because responding there’s there’s there’s a difference but they already know how to react they knew how to react when they were born I mean we come into this world you know uh it’s easy to to react because when things go good you’re happy and when things don’t good you’re frustrated and you’re upset and uh you’re throw things and you it’s well you already knew how to do that but you’re going to have to be successful in life you’re going to have to respond to what happened and what what people are not taught that the top people do is the top people when they do something well they reinforce it they think about it they talk about it they write about it they reinforce it when they do something that’s wrong they view it as a way to overcome they they view it as a it it’s it’s not a mental error to make a mistake making mistake and learning from it is a requirement to get better I’ve never met a world champion yet that didn’t say I made thousands of mistakes the only difference between me and the people I be is I learn from those so every time you you make a mistake responding means that you’re learning from it you learn from your mistakes you learn from your mistakes you don’t just complain about them you don’t just just reinforce them or you don’t improve the probability it’s like you to do them again you don’t blame other people you don’t complain you just you just find a solution and you learn from it so it’s not it’s not winning and losing it’s winning and learning that’s responding and so so there is a there are ways to do this and the one one last thing is that uh you’re you there’s a relationship between everything that a person does in life has three phases to it is that anticipation phase where you’re preparing to do something it has an action phase where you actually do it and has a reinforcement phase what you think about immediately after you do it and those three phases are directly related to the three mental processes that generate performance the anticipation phase what you think about before the action is as a conscious Circle issue we tend to talk about these things as circles bigger Circle better better for you the so the the action phase is is highly subconscious and the reinforcement phase what you think about after the action how you respond to what happened is a self-image issue your self-image is either built or Torn Down based on how you respond to what happens parents have to teach people how to do that right because if not they’re never going to appreciate their the they’re not going to learn from their mistakes akes they’re just going to they’re just going to be frustrated and uh and life is one big competition so you you you learn this stuff when you compete and you learn that that uh uh there’s a difference between uh success is rewarded and I I just I don’t want to be political here but I I just get real upset when I hear that about Equity everybody everybody’s got to be the same the participation trophy okay let let let’s throw out the the medals in the Olympic and see how many see how many people want to want to do something tune in how many people do want to do something that that has no reward how many people want to do something that that is easy to do you know all every single person that’s riding that boat that’s going in I was just watching the Olympics uh opening ceremony on on on the right before we uh started this and they’re they’re bringing all the athletes in on a boat that’s never happened before so those guys have got to be just so excited but every one of those athletes are doing something it’s really hard to do and uh but they’ve learned a lot about themselves because it’s hard and uh people appreciate things in direct proportion to what they what the price they pay for it that’s where value is right I mean we value the struggle and and that’s why it’s so interesting when we can see top performers be a top musicians athletes whatever it might be someone that’s dedicated the time and effort to be the best that’s a fascinating thing to watch because I think on a deep level it reminds us that we all have that ability to actualize this high potential in ourselves and choosing not to on some level and so it’s it’s amazing when you do see somebody that chose to actualize that potential I want to bring I see the three circles on on your hat and on your um for those that are um not listening to this or watching this on on YouTube um Lenny’s got his logo which is the three circles that are intersecting together and you talked about the conscious mind the subconscious mind the self-image the conscious mind being we’re going to key stay on golf because this is what’s relevant to the podcast so the conscious mind then is what you’re thinking about before you go on the shot so feeling comfortable um and and I’m just going to ask you whether or not I’m thinking about this or I understand this this correctly so for me or for my child before they step into the shot it’s to feel confident that they’ve got the right club that they’ve got the right strategy and that they can do this like remind themselves that they can do this then just allow like letting go and letting flow almost tapped into the subconscious aspect of letting your natural athleticism basically execute the shot and then after regardless of whether or not was good or bad making sure that you protect your self-image so for example if it was a bad shot you’d be like well that was an anomaly that’s not like me like I and then thinking oh right I H it off the heel or off the toe or something as opposed to and we’ve all well lny I know you’re not a golfer yourself but we’ve all been on the golf course where you know somebody hits a bad shot and we hear how they talk about themselves you’re like you idiot you always like like you hear the worst self talk in the entire world when you go golfing with somebody usually so is that the right way to think about it like to use those circles you a really good job you really did a really good job of uh of of describing that that’s exactly right uh hitting a golf shot has three phases to it as an anticipation phase an action phase a reinforcement phase that that the sad thing is that that uh where are they where where are people going to learn this you know it it if if you don’t learn this if you don’t learn some of these things early you you you suffer from the result and those errors that you make that could have been avoided if your parents had told you what what to do were you they become embedded if you do if you play for 15 years and you’re and you you don’t know understand some some simple doable treatable uh issues that you can you can get rid of fear you can get rid of over trying overthinking a lot of things that that that uh sometimes I’ll have I’ll have clients uh that have been playing for for 20 years and mo most of my clients by the way are not PJ tour players they’re P there are not very many PJ tour players out there anyway but uh I’ve taught a bunch of them but uh but most of my clients are guys that want to beat their brother-in-law really bad really bad sure sure be them B to pay pay my fees and and uh but my my son teaches almost exclusively Junior gol it’s a big market and then he’s really good at it well okay so Lenny I I’d be remiss if I didn’t um ask you I mean you mentioned fear how do I get over fear fear and golf go hand inand there’s a lot on the line and and it can be something as simple as like obviously the result or a trophy or if it’s a competition but it could also be Bragg and rice with your buddy or or this status or your self-image I have two questions for you you mentioned earlier about the kind of chatter in your head or about kind of the way you talk to yourself on the course how do we assuming that we didn’t have conscious aware parents from the get-go and we find ourselves going into some sort of vicious Loop where we’re talking to ourselves U maybe not in the not most Pleasant way how do we correct that um do you have any tips or tricks like like simple things that we can do to kind of snap us back to um either being in the moment or being a little bit more pleasant with ourselves and then the second question is how do we deal with fear then do you have any tips or tricks with when it comes to actually fear well let’s talk about the first one it it it shouldn’t happen if you’re running a system if if if you here’s the thing you need to learn my system and when when you have my system you’re too busy running the system to think about those things there are steps in the system that you run and and uh you’ve got you’ve got your your routine which is what you’re physically doing and once you can Define the optimum thing to think about while you’re running your your your your routine in other words when I when I when I dress the ball you know when when I there’s a strategy portion there’s a there’s a rehearsal portion there’s a there’s a commitment portion there’s there’s a a what you think about when you’re over the ball right bet the last thing you think about before you you take away occurs all of those things are defined when you define what you’re every time you physically do something you have a me of a well thought reason why you’re thinking a certain thing and once you define the optimum thing to think about before you hit the shot and and op also have an Optimum thing to think about after you hit the shot so that you protect your self-image you’re running a system anytime you think about you define what you’re supposed to think about the optimum thing to think about before during and after a task uh you’re running a mental system and you have a chance to be mentally consistent and when you’re running that system you can’t think about this other stuff it’s there’s no time and and one of the princip what would you s Lenny what would you suggest in between shots or or in between like when you were doing um your own shooting experience or or for a golfer you have a lot of time in between I I love and it completely makes sense to use something like the mental management system for the shot but what about that time when you’re walking maybe to your next hole or you’re waiting for your next opportunity to shoot okay what would you do in that what would you suggest about whatever you want to think about but if if you have a negative thought that that comes in your mind you better have a plan practice strategy to overcome that and we teach people how to do that so that if you so you’re free you’re free to to think about whatever you want you talk talk to your caddy talk to your another player or or or just just think about where you have dinner I mean you you can you can relax enjoy yourself golf is fun shooting is fun and and uh you you don’t have to do that as long as as as when when you get ready to when you’re turn to hit you turn into somebody else you turn into someone that that has that runs the system you’re you’re you’re you you do what you’ve trained to do and your mind is goes from one step to the next and you always know where you are and uh and you you have a chance at consistency when you do that when I was in college in high in high school and college and um I I I I started shooting at a Time in America when there were over a million High School shooters shooting rifles every day in in in schools in America and uh you people people say can’t believe that you different time shoot rifles in schools oh yeah yeah and nobody got hurt and every Everybody enjoyed shooting and and um now I’d say went from a million down to it would surprise me if you had 5,000 people that that that do that today um in high school or college um but um what happens is that uh you’re uh when you learn about yourself is is you have to have mental consistency in order to have technical consistency in a proactive sport like Golf and shooting and archery uh these are all 100% proactive it’s not like like tennis which is service proactive you can run a mental system for a serve but you can’t run a mental system when the ball’s in play or like basketball you can you can run a mental system shoot a free throw but when the ball’s in play you can’t run a mental system you have to you have to learn by what to do by drills and that’s why why they it’s a reaction based yeah it’s it’s it’s more of a response than it is a a uh a a planned practice sequence but in sports they’re 100% proactive like golf that that eliminates a lot of problems the problem the problem is that most most golfers that I know when I ask them what are you thinking about before you hit the shot well sometimes I think about this sometimes I think about that well what are you thinking about when You’ had when the last last time you you hit this shot it went in the trees you know what are you thinking about now oh I’m thinking about don’t hit it in the trees I’m thinking yeah that’s a good idea ly I feel like you’re in my mind right now when when I’m playing golf because that’s often what I’m thinking about is uh unfortunately what went wrong last time and that seems to be what I fixate on so it’s a I’ve actually had I’ve actually had clients 50-year-old men come in to my office and and come and take my classes and brag about the fact that I’m hard on myself and I I want they Bea themselves up and I and I I always ask them well how’s that working out for you I’m here aren’t I not well assuming they say that’s not a good strategy why do you do you there there are better strategies out there and uh and I I I just feel like that what what turned me on to to write the book paren Champions was uh I wrote a book called with winning in mind that is really for athletes that introduce the midal game to athletes these are these are really what the winners are are are know that you need to know that and and giving you a system to run um and uh it’s a good introduction to to mental management but uh uh but I was so concerned about the role of parents because they are they are the most important mental coach that a kid will ever have and if if they’re not trained their probability that they’re not going to do a good job is high and I can’t do everything but I can do something and so I I decided okay I’m going to do this do this book and um and every time I every chapter in there I said boy I I screwed this up when I was Lenny you’re you’re all about strategies you’re all about systems um you have written two fantastic books with winning in mind and parenting champions for for those people that want to work with you that want to kind of get introduced to some of your systems like the mental management system what’s the best way for people to find you to reach out to to get your books well I the first place I would I would go is is uh we have two websites uh the the we my website is called with winning inm mind.com with winning inm mind.com uh you can reach me at infom mental management.com our our books and journals and things like that that we sell are are at uh mental management.com so you got two websites with winning inm mind.com and mental management.com with winning inm mind.com there’s actually a free report on that that uh website about exactly how I I I use Mental management to win my titles I mean what what was the process I went through to be to be able to do that so it’s it’s it’s free and that’s that’s on that now if if people don’t want to wait there’s uh both of those books uh with winning in mind and uh parenting a Champions are on Audible you can listen to on Audible they’re on all of my books are on Kindle Freedom flight with with winning in mind parenting Champions or on or on Kindle or and Amazon sells the paperbacks uh too if you if you if you want to go that route um but uh uh if you want to to learn about what how we what options did you have we have a lot of things that are free uh are are are I would be happy to send anybody that’s interested I would be happy to send you the links to our online courses the links to our audios the our patreon Channel our uh uh and actually we do a 20 a free 20 minute consultation uh for people if they just if say a lot of people don’t know about that but uh and I I’m on half of those so you want 20 minutes with me i’ I’d love to know what you want to know I just that’s that’s how I stay in business is to find out what you what you want and and see if I can we can find a way to solve it so um love that and all all of what you said that Lenny is in the show descriptions here so people can find you with all those links there and uh 50 years of experience you’ve been studying the mental side of sports Lenny you’re a wealth information um truly uh grateful and blessed to have this conversation with you any parting advice maybe for the athlete themselves and for the parent um of the athlete any advice for those two groupings of people I I would say for both of you the most important thing I can tell you is that don’t stop with learning a skill you need to learn how to think you need to to pay attention to the mental game and don’t wait because your competition is is starting to pay attention back when I was in high school and college even my first three years on the US team we thought that the mental game was something you had it wasn’t something you could learn you were either mentally tough or you weren’t mentally tough and uh that’s that’s wrong so we weren’t trying to learn it and it wasn’t but but those days are over people are are smartening up now they realize that uh that the midal midal portion is important and I would say that you got two choices and as I said you can talk to as many really good players as you can about them what are they doing about the midle game and they’ll probably conf confuse you but uh that that’s one way that’s how I got my information I talked to I talked to I spent two years on the phone talking to world and Olympic Champions but I had access to them because I I had a silver medal in the Olympics I I think I had access that that most people couldn’t get and uh uh but the resources are uh that what our work has been has been focused I have focused on trying to get the their most valuable information and make it simple enough to where people can actually use it because you can search for information all your all all your life and if if if it’s not like you to do it it’s just books in the library that you that you don’t learn from yeah you need to be able to read the information in diges and understand it otherwise it’s kind of useless you got to apply it you got to apply that information and but uh uh it it doesn’t take much to just contact us contact me at at at info@ metal management.com and if I will send you the links to everything that we’re we’re doing or the staff will and and your uh and if you want a 20 minute consultation we will we will show show you what we what we can do uh you know for you but uh don’t wait because the uh your competition is getting smarter every day about the metal ominous but wise words don’t wait the competition is getting wiser every every I mean they’re using it I mean it’s it’s no no secret that Sports in the mental side is now um very much so in Vogue and it’s something that people are paying attention to which is why uh an expert like you Lanny is so valuable so again thank you so much for your time I just one thing for you of course you can uh I I’m excited for you for this podcast because you’ve hit on something that I’ve been working at on for a long time and it is encouraging to me that you’re doing this because this is is so needed by parents uh and and and all of the uh people that you can bring into this appearance that have been successful or things that people that it’s just it’s exciting to me that you’re that you’re actually doing this because uh uh there there’s not enough of us that are interested in this and I appreciate the fact that you’re doing it thank you for those kind words Lenny thank you so much you welcome [Music] [Music]
